A Challenge

I thought I'd take up the challenge that Kate offered, to post every day from October 1 through December 31, just to try something different. Why not?

She said that as long as I write somewhere, my blog or my journal, it counts. So, I may not post here every day but I will be writing.

So, starting tomorrow, be prepared for more from the mind of Megan. Lucky you!

Life is Messy

It's been a rough year.

Between friend drama, family member drama, work drama, and personal drama, I'm feeling pretty burned out. I would really, really like something to go the way it's supposed to. Preferably a big, wonderful thing.

I can only blame myself, really. I keep praying for more faith. And Heavenly Father is helping me develop it, even though it sucks and is hard. I can only think that all of this is happening all at once because I have a lot of lessons -- or maybe just one big one -- that I need to learn right now. I have recognized some growth in myself. So, that's good. I hope that I'm developing patience, but I'm not sure I'm there yet.

And when I'm honest with myself, I am grateful that I have my particular problems, because I see what other people have to deal with and I am amazed they still function at all.

But, last week I desperately needed to cry. I wanted to call in sick to work on Friday so I could just stay in bed and cry if I could (you know that feeling when you need to cry but you can't? That was me), but I went to work because I had things to do, and I knew it wouldn't solve anything to sit around and mope.

I was finally able to cry Saturday night. This was after a long, three hour nap, and after the movie Meet the Robinsons loosened up my tear ducts (please tell me I'm not the only one who cries during that movie). I went to my church Stake Center to watch the LDS Women's Conference. At the door, I ran into a girl from my ward, Betsy, and she asked me how I was doing. Her question was all it took and my face crumbled. I felt so guilty I did that to her! However, she is one of the most gracious, calm women ever. She sat me down and I poured out the entire year's worth of hurt and drama and stress upon her listening ear. And I cried a lot. And a couple of other girls from our ward came and sat with us and tactfully didn't listen, but when I was done talking they offered hugs and support.

Then the Conference started, and Sister Beck announced the first song we'd sing was "There is Sunshine in my Soul Today." I cheered. Out loud. I said "Yay!" and a bunch of women turned around to look at me and giggle. I had to laugh, too, and then continued to cry quietly. I didn't sing at all, but I love the song. We also sang "How Firm a Foundation", and between that and Sister Thompson's talk about "the gap between what we know and what we do," I could not deny that Heavenly Father is aware of me, my problems, and my emotional state, and that I was in the right place. I needed to be there.

I want a break. Or better yet, I would like to have fully resolved my feelings and healed from one drama before the next one comes up, so I don't feel dog piled anymore. It's the same philosophy I wish I could apply to work: finish one project before moving on to the next. (Yeah, I haven't been able to do that at work, either.) Unfortunately, or fortunately, that's not the way life works. Life is messy. Everything gets jumbled up on top of the other so that I have to work through it and figure it out as best I can. Multi-tasking isn't just task-based. It's a life concept.

I'm feeling better at the moment. I'm trying to just let what will be, be, and accept that a lot of things that affect me are outside of my control. And I'm trying to honestly believe that not being in control is okay. I am blessed in many ways. I can see Heavenly Father's influence on my life, and I recognize how the Atonement is affecting me. With Jesus Christ's help and my Heavenly Father's blessings, I can do this. I may not like their methods, but if at the end (if there is one) I have the faith I continuously pray for it will all be worth it. I know it will.

Thank goodness I'm not all alone. I don't know what I'd do if I were.

D.C. Vacation, part 3: Around D.C.

The day after the long, lovely birthday at Kings Dominion was a Tuesday. Shonni was up bright and early for her first day at a new job, and Aaron had the day off but a lot of work to do, so he wanted to go into work for a few hours. I wanted to spend the morning at the Washington D.C. Temple anyway, so Aaron dropped me off while he went into work. Oddly enough, I had many adventures during my four hours on the temple grounds!

It started when Aaron and I pulled up. There were four young Elder (not elderly) missionaries taking photos, so we asked them to take one of Aaron and I, and we took some of the four of them. The missionaries mentioned that recently some folks had tried to steal the angel Moroni statue from the top of the temple spire. Apparently, they rented a helicopter and managed to remove it from the spire, but were caught before they could get away. I tend to think that story is an urban legend...

The endowment sessions take place each hour on the hour. Aaron dropped me off at 11:15, so I had some time to kill. I decided to be bold and ask to see everything they would let me see within the temple. I walked around the floor where they do marriage sealings, saw the Bride dressing room, and found the cafeteria. I wanted to buy a Snickers from the vending machine, but didn't have any cash on me. Oh, well. The Celestial room was so beautiful that I literally stopped and gawked when I walked in. I love the symbolism in that room. I sat and gazed about for the longest time. For some reason, I couldn't find the baptistry, and I chickened out asking for directions. Being there for a noon session on a Tuesday, I feared for a few minutes that it would just me be, the four Elder missionaries, and one other guy there in the session. Fortunately, about 10 minutes before it started, 30 people showed up. It was awesome! Hooray for people going to the temple on a Tuesday afternoon!

After the session, I walked outside and called Aaron to let him know he could pick me up. While on the phone I went around the corner of the temple, and two deer who had been quietly grazing about 20 feet from me bolted! I was shocked! That's when I realized how idealistic the setting for the temple is. It's in the middle of the forest, and it's beautiful. I walked around and took photos of the trees, the exterior of the temple, and the six deer I saw. I also bought a Mormon Tabernacle Choir CD and a subscription to the Ensign magazine at the Distribution Center.



When Aaron arrived, we went into the Visitor's Center to change into jeans. One of the Sister Missionaries stopped us and asked if we were interested in seeing one of the exhibits. They had several photographs from the Hubble telescope on display, along with information and scriptures that describe each. It was really cool. Aaron and I walked around for quite awhile discussing the differences between dying stars, forming galaxies, and how it all relates to the Church's stance on the creation. By the time we left, we realized it was nearly 4pm! We picked up some insanely tastey sandwiches at Potbelly (a sandwich shop I cannot recommend highly enough) and drove home to wait for Shonni.

Shonni, Aaron and I ate dinner and headed out to the Mall. We wanted to see a couple of the Smithsonian Museums, like the Newseum and the Pop-Culture museum. Unfortunately, we learned that as of Labor Day -- the day before -- the museums all closed at 5:30. Guess what time we got there? You got it: 5:32. Whoops! Instead, we walked around some of the sculpture gardens and regular gardens. It was a very pretty night, and Aaron, Shonni and I can fabricate fun out of any situation!

Above: Aaron and I with The Burghers of Calais by Rodin; the only sculpture we recognized and liked

Above: me outside the Smithsonian Castle

When it started to get dark, we made our way to the Pentagon. Shonni and I had never seen the September 11 Memorial there, and seeing as the anniversary was only a few days away, we very much wanted to go. It was a sobering sight. There was a bench for every person who died that day -- those who had been in the building and those in the plane that hit it. I looked out at that sea of lit benches, and then at the plaques that listed the year each where born. Did you know the youngest was just a year old? She died with her brother and parents, who each had their own benches, too. I remember September 11, watching the news broadcasts and seeing the rescue efforts. The same awe and horror I felt then returned as I realized again that the people who died that day were real. They had lived and died doing their best to lead good lives. How can I do anything less than honor their memories and try to do the same?


Even though we had a late dinner, we went over to the Good Stuff Eatery where I ordered a Prez Obama Burger and a Milky Way Malt, and all of us shared an order of delectable Spike's Village Fries (with rosemary, thyme, and cracked pepper). It really was "good stuff." We even got to watch a cop pull over a car who totally deserved it, having stopped and gone in reverse in the middle of a busy intersection :P

We were exhausted by that point, but when we drove past the Marines Memorial we had to stop and take some more photos. There are a lot of people who have sacrificed their lives for my country. I wanted to take a few more moments, while in the nation's capitol, to honor them.



The next morning, I said good-bye to Shonni before she left for work, and then packed up all of my luggage and souvenirs. Aaron took me to the Baltimore airport -- with a quick stop at McDonald's for some breakfast. I ate my breakfast and bought an extra yogurt I hoped I could take on the plane to eat later, but the guards wouldn't let me, so I ate before going past Security.

The plane ride home was fairly unremarkable. I bought an Italian sandwich at the Potbelly in the airport so I wouldn't starve on the trip, walked around the Minneapolis Airport during my layover, and remained seated in Salt Lake so the serviceman who was accompanying the body of a fallen comrade could exit the plane first. My mom picked me up from the airport and took me home, where I realized my car had been towed... but I think I've already covered that whole episode!

And there you have it. Sorry it took me so long to fill you in on my trip. Hope you weren't bored, because I had a great time!

Thank you, Aaron and Shonni, for making me feel so welcome, for taking care of me, and for making such an effort to ensure my vacation was a happy one. It really was. I love you both!

D.C. Vacation, part 2: Kings Dominion

Monday, Labor Day, was my birthday, and I was more than a little upset to see that the skies were just as cloudy and forboding as the day before. We had planned to visit an amusement park, and although there are plenty of other things to do in the D.C. area, I kind of had my heart set on riding roller coasters for my birthday! Fortunately, Aaron and his friends checked online and discovered that the weather was far better in the part of Virginia where the park is located.

Shonni wasn’t feeling well so she stayed home, but Aaron and I met a group of six other people from the singles wards in the area. I was surprised to see it was such a reasonably small group of people, five boys and three girls. We split up into two cars with four people in each and drove the hour and-a-half drive to the park. My car stopped for gas and a snack on the way; apparently, so did the other car, because we managed to beat them there.

As my birthday present, Aaron paid my ticket into Kings Dominion, which I thought was delightfully generous. Thank you, Aaron! Our group of four, which included Aaron, me, Shandy, and Matthew, went into the park, took a photo and made our way to the nearest roller coaster, Anaconda. We couldn’t get ahold of anyone in the other car, but figured we’d meet them there. They arrived at the coaster just as we finished the ride, so we went a second time! Then we went crazy, making the rounds to all of the rides one at a time.

I like to think of Kings Dominion as the “Lagoon” of the East coast, because there isn’t a running theme for the park – it’s just a bunch of roller coasters, rides, restaurants and souvenir stands all grouped together. They had some Hanna-Barbara (the Jetsons, Scooby-Doo, the Flintstones) and Nickelodeon-themed stuff, but that’s about it.

Because it was a holiday, we were very surprised to find how few people were at the park that day. We imagined the rain might have something to do with it, but then… there was no rain until 6:30 that day. There weren’t even that many employees. We walked past a face-painting station several times and never did see anyone who would paint my face! The best part about so few people being there was that the lines were SHORT! We didn’t wait longer than 10 minutes or so in any one line. It was SWEET!

We had a quick lunch at a Chic-fil-A in the park, where we learned that Adam had brought his own lunch along, complete with lunch meat and vegetables. He bought a bun at the restaurant and made a sandwich, and generously shared with the rest of us.

I made sure to take motion-sickness meds that morning, because I really like roller coasters, and I did NOT want to miss out! Not on my birthday! Nearly every roller coaster had multiple loops and upside-down twists. I admit, the one I liked the least was the one everyone else liked the most: the Volcano. There was something about the hydrolic push at the beginning, and the fact that our feet were dangling, and that third loop seeming so slow that I just did not like! We got to the end and I said “I am NOT doing that again!” Tyson had to laugh. I sat out while everyone else did a second go-around. It took them awhile, since they all wanted to be in the front. I didn’t mind too much. It gave me time to get a really, really stale pretzel, and have a park worker ask me – with much concern – if I was okay (I was flopped over on a rock. It was a long day!).

We stayed at the park and ran around from 10:30am to 6:30pm (oh, and guess which day I forgot to wear my pedometer? That day. I was so annoyed). We had a ton of fun and were exhausted by the end and kind of glad when it started raining. We were already wet anyway, since we did a log flume as one of the last rides, and although Adam and I managed to get past the splash without getting much water on us, the spectators with water pistoles got us good! I was turned around at the time, so they just got my back, but Adam was soaked. Of course, after that, we had to stay and try to get as many others as we could.

I bought a t-shirt and then we all piled back into the cars. We wanted real food, so we decided to eat at Cracker Barrel. I had never been to that restaurant before, and it was good! We had fun looking around at the kitchy items and yummy candies in the store, and I got excited when I saw there was maple candy (I was thinking of that episode of Friends where Ross eats all that maple candy…). Five minutes later, Shandy bought me some as a birthday present. How cute is that? I’d never had maple candy before and I quite liked it!

Oddly, when the others asked if I wanted the waiters to sing “Happy Birthday” to me, I said no. I was too tired, even if it was my actual birthday. It was a little lame of me. Oh, well. It was a great group of people to celebrate with. Aaron, Rich, Lorrena, Tyson, Adam, Shandy, and Matthew made it a great day!

Aaron and I returned to Shonni’s place about 10:30 or 11, and found her feeling much better. We told her about our day, cuddled with Baxter, and checked my Facebook page.

Thank you to everyone who called, texted, emailed, and posted on my FB page to wish me a happy birthday! I felt happy and loved and I really appreciate everyone who thought of me!

What better way to turn 31 than by riding a crazy-lot of roller coasters all day, and basking in the love of people that I love, too? My thirty-second year started off pretty darn good!

Above: Tyson, Shandy, Rich, Lorrena, Adam, me, Matthew, and Aaron

An Unexpected Dream Role Come True

Remember last year when I took that "Which Disney Princess are you Quiz" and was Sleeping Beauty? And that I have a Sleeping Beauty costume (and a Sleeping Beauty snowglobe, bell, and plush doll) because she's my favorite?

Yesterday I checked my e-mail and found one from Jana C, a theatre friend I hadn't seen in awhile. She said that she is directing Sleeping Beauty for the Childrens' Theatre and asked me to call right away. My heart stopped for a second. I thought "what I wouldn't give to play the princess!" But I thought it more likely she'd ask that I play the Queen, or the good fairy.

I called Jana, and she asked if I would be interested in playing Sleeping Beauty.

Sleeping. Beauty.

I was stunned! I'm 31! I had sort of given up hope of having the chance to play the young princess. And yet, here Jana asked me to play my favoritest princess of all!

Of course I said "Yes." Absolutely I was interested. Jana said that when producer and mutual friend Joanne asked if she knew anyone that might make a good Sleeping Beauty, my name popped into their heads. I haven't seen either of them in awhile, so I know that it was Heavenly Father, knowing that I need a creative outlet. Jana told me she needed to confirm with Joanne, and it wouldn't be official until she had, so I waited 24 hours and hoped no one would change their minds.

Jana called me today, said that Joanne is thrilled that I want the part, and officially offered me the role of Sleeping Beauty. Squeeeeee! I accepted, and the six-year old girl in my head who bought that princess paper doll book last month started crying for joy. I'm going to the audition on Saturday to read with prospective princes. The cast will have about a month of rehearsals, then we'll perform every weekend in November, closing the weekend after Thanksgiving. The timing really couldn't be better.

I can't express how very excited I am about this. Lately I have desperately wanted to do a play. Preferably a non-musical. I love musicals, but I haven't done a regular play in about 5 years, and I want to flex my acting muscles a bit. I haven't done a non-musical audition in years and was nervous, so the fact I didn't need to do audition this time around is icing on the cake!

Getting to do this at the Children's Theatre, where I spent so much time during my teen years and who taught me so much of what I know of theatre is really cool! They did this play the fall I went to college, and I wanted to audition, but since it was my first semester and Mom wanted me to do well, she said "No" and put her foot down. I was incredibly upset at the time. Here I have a second chance! I feel like Heavenly Father is looking out for me. He knows how bored and frustrated I've been lately and has given me an opportunity, through old friends, to both stretch in new directions, return to my roots, and live a personal fantasy. I hope it's as fun as I dreamed it would be!

(Actually, in my dreams, I'm usually thrown into this kind of part an hour before the show and have no idea what I'm actually doing. This reality is likely to be better than that.)

My worry now is whether they'll find a man to play a prince who 1) looks good with me, 2) isn't a lot younger than I, and 3) won't be creepy. After all, the kiss is written into the story. If any of you know of talented, nice guys who might be interested in auditioning, let me know and I'll email you the information.

I'm going to play Sleeping Beauty! Wow! Is that awesome or what?!!

D.C. Vacation, part 1: Going Somewhat Native

I've been back from my Washington D.C. trip for a couple of weeks -- enough time to have settled into regular life once again and reflect on how much fun I had!

The idea was to visit my brother Aaron and his girlfriend Shonni and just tag along with whatever they were doing for the Labor Day weekend.

I flew into the Baltimore Airport on Saturday afternoon (and, yes, I had "Good Morning Baltimore" from Hairspray in my head for, like, two hours). Aaron and Shonni picked me up, and we decided to get some dinner. I told them that I wanted to tell everyone, everywhere we went, that it was my birthday, just to see what kind of free stuff I could get. It turned out, we only did that one time, but it was this first restaurant! I was in the mood for some Indian food, so Shonni found a place called Haandi. While looking for the restaurant, we walked past a burger place, where four young men were sitting down to this:

This hamburger was something like 20 lbs, and $80. Gross, right? We have no idea how they actually planned to eat it. I'm sure it was cold before they even started eating.

Anyway, the Indian food was excellent, and Shonni told the hostess it was my birthday, which resulted in a free rice pudding-type dessert. Awesome, right? After that, we dropped off my stuff. Shonni generously invited me to stay with her, where I would have a bed, as opposed to Aaron's place where I would have a bed because Aaron would insist on sleeping on the couch. We picked up Shonni's adorable chihuaua, Baxter, and made our way to a park near the Reagan Airport where the planes fly right over you...

...Unfortunately, it was pretty late in the evening when we got to the park, and the planes coming in were coming from the other way, so we just ended up hanging out and playing with Baxter in the dark before stopping at the grocery store. Still, we managed to stay up way too late, and enjoy each other's company!

The next day was Sunday, and Shonni and I managed to drag ourselves out of bed and make ourselves presentable in time for Aaron to pick us up at, like, 8:30am for church. We went to the Singles Ward near Mount Vernon, and I met a bunch of people whose names I no longer remember. But they were nice, and I enjoyed the classes and testimony meeting.

Aaron and Shonni made breakfast-for-dinner for our late afternoon lunch/dinner... they were nice enough to let me help. Seriously, those apple and butterscotch pancakes and the omelet were yummy. I followed up lunch with a three hour nap. (I didn't intend to sleep that long. My excuse is that I was jet-lagged and I got up at 5am MST... on my vacation!)

I had hoped there would be something going on that weekend that you can only do in Washington D.C. such as when Aaron and Shonni saw the fireworks at the Capital Building. So, imagine my delight when they sent me a Facebook invitation a week before the trip inviting me to a free National Symphony Orchestra (NSO) concert on the lawn outside the Capital Building! Yaaaaaaaaay! Sunday evening, we found a parking spot nearby, which happened to be by the Library of Congress. (This is only interesting because we'd be saying earlier we weren't sure where it was. Turns out there are multiple buildings.)

Above: me in front of the Library of Congress building across the street
Below: a James Madison quote on the wall outside the Library of Congress entrance

Below: Aaron and I with the Capital Building in the background

We passed through security, picked up some free water bottles (there were crates-full available), and found Aaron's friends without too much difficulty. With an hour to go before the concert was to start, rain started to drizzle. Did I mention we hadn't brought an umbrella? Shonni and I held our blanket over our heads, but the rain became more and more insistent, and then started to pour! A lot of the others in the group decided to go to someone's house and play games. I was hesitant to assert my desire to stay and try to wait out the rain, but I really wanted to see the concert! Aaron, Shonni, and I stood under a tree with many other concert-goers for about another 20 minutes. We had just decided to leave when the rain abruptly stopped!

Above: Shonni and I unsuccessfully attempt to stay dry
Below: Aaron, Shonni and I on the lawn in front of the Capital Building

We ended up staying and really enjoyed the concert. They played the overture to Gypsy, a medley from South Pacific, the theme songs from E.T. and Star Wars: A New Hope, "The Liberty Bell March", and a tribute to Abraham Lincoln. During the Lincoln tribute, the rain started to sprinkle again. When the song ended, the orchestra leader, Emile de Cou, asked if we wanted to take an intermission. The entire crowd shouted "NO!" but they took an intermission anyway. As soon as the lights came up in the crowd, the rain started to dump again. At that point, we decided to call it a night and go. I loved the concert, though. I was so glad we stayed for the first part!

I wasn't quite ready to go to bed when we arrived home, so I watched the first half of The Holiday on DVD... fitting, no? I think the pairing of Jack Black and Kate Winslet is genius.

To be continued...

A Weird Welcome Home

I'm back from vacation and had a marvelous time! I promise to blog about it this weekend, but first, I want to share the homecoming my condo complex gave me.

Last week, I found a flyer hanging on my door stating that the condo parking lot was going to be refinished. The section with my parking spot would be worked on Wednesday, September 9, and the rest would be finished the next day. The flyer said that any cars that were still in the specified part of the parking lot at 8 a.m. on the day scheduled for work would be towed at the owners expense. I read through the flyer, puzzled over the map that illustrated which sections would be worked on when (the writing was TINY!), placed the flyer on the chair next to my front door so I wouldn't forget about it... and then promptly forgot about it.

Fast-forward to the day I returned home from my trip, which happened to be Wednesday, September 9. My mom picked me up from the airport and we were both a little surprised to see how many cars were parked alongside the road outside of the complex at 5 in the afternoon. That's when I remembered the parking lot work...that was scheduled for that very morning. For some reason, I was thinking my work wouldn't be done until the next day, so I didn't think much about it.

Then, I happened to take another glance at that flyer which was still lying on that chair next to my front door. Suddenly, I felt sick. I went outside to check my car.

It was gone.

Suddenly, the golden relaxation and happy memories from my trip flew out of my mind. I was ticked! And, of course, I was ticked at the property management company (PMC) that didn't give me more warning. I called them to find out what had happened to my car and since it was after 5pm they were closed. I left a message but didn't expect to hear anything before 9 the next day, and possibly they had a lot of angry people to return calls to, so I might not even hear from them until later! Grrr!

I called my mom, and left a message with my manager at work to let them know what was going on. Then I settled into being angry. I didn't want to pay for towing fees. I didn't want to be late for the 9 o'clock meeting at work. I didn't want to find a ride to the impound lot. I wanted to lie and say I had been out of town for 2 weeks and since the PMC only sent the flyer a week ahead of time I shouldn't be penalized.

I was trying very hard to ignore the fact that it had been me who was spacey. If I'd thought about it, I could have just left my car at my parents' house over the long weekend and avoided the whole thing. But it's so much easier and seemingly more satisfying to be mad at someone else!

After awhile, my better judgement finally kicked in, and although I was still mad, I forced myself to take responsibility and made an effort not to be angry at the PMC (although I still was). I tried to waste as little energy as possible on fueling my feelings of ill-use. I relaxed a bit, realized that in 10 years the whole situation wouldn't matter, and enjoyed catching up on as many of the programs my DVR had recorded during my vacation as I could.

The next morning, I called the PMC. A very nice girl we'll call "Michelle" answered and I told her what had happened. She gave me the name and number for Speedy Towing, and I suggested they give us more notice next time. However, it turns out my condo association had decided to only give us a week's warning. Would it have been so hard to give us a month's warning and then a reminder the week before? I don't think so. If you're going to make people pay for their cars to be towed, you better make sure they have enough time to make arrangements. What if I'd left town on Thursday morning and not returned until Wednesday? If I really hadn't received the flyer in time would I still have been charged?

I called the towing company and, guess what? They said they hadn't taken my car to an impound lot. Instead, it was simply moved to the part of my condo complex's parking lot that wasn't being refinished that day! If I had known that ahead of time, I could have saved myself a lot of grief! However, that section of the lot was scheduled to be worked on that morning... and since it was 9 a.m. already my car may have been towed again. But to where? Bowl of Cocoa Crispies in hand (which were gross, by the way), I ran outside to try to find my car.

I couldn't find it.

Trying not to panic, I pretty much walked around the entire lot until I found the tow truck. I asked the driver about my car. Miraculously, he said that he hadn't moved it yet this morning, and directed me to a parking lot I wasn't aware belonged to our complex! Also, he mentioned that if he had moved it, he would have just put it back in my assigned stall.

I realized that if I had come home from my trip ONE DAY later, I would have found my car in its still and not have known anything had happened. Crazy!

Long story short (too late!), I found my car and drove to work. On the way, Michelle at PMC called me back. She said that several people had called about their towed cars, that they'd only been towed to another section of the parking lot, and the condo association was paying for everything. They had never meant to charge the individual owners. Why then did they specifically state on that stupid flyer that we would be charged at our own expense? Ah well, I was glad to hear it. All was well, and I was even more glad that I'd tried so hard to let go of my anger the night before. I was right, it wasn't important enough to waste the energy on.

Sometimes I feel like I'm on my own version of the Truman Show and some producer engineers these situations just to see what I'll do.

Welcome home to me! Life is weird!