Undesirable task: calling strangers

Today I finally did something I have been putting off for 6 months (okay, more like 2 years):

I called a plumber.

Never fear, it's not like my toilet's broken (well, it is, but my dad created a nifty little fix and when it no longer works I'll buy a new toilet). The need for a plumber is purely elective.

The need for a washer and dryer in my apartment is becoming critical. I know, I said that at New Year's, but the fact is that the inconvenience of dragging my laundry to my mom's house every third Sunday is not the only super-obnoxious factor. If my brother is already doing his laundry when I get there, I might end up at Mom's until 11pm. I don't have time to spend hours at my mom's house or even a laundromat during the week. I don't mind hanging out with my folks, but I feel guilty when they want to go to sleep and my mom volunteers to finish up the next day. Half the time I leave half the laundry at their place to dry. In addition, my time at Mom's house on Sundays has lately been limited by the Mad Men and Disney movie groups every single week... Sunday has become the least restful day of the week. One less obligation would be nice (yes, I am obliged to have clean clothes. It's important).

I'm no longer a college student. I pay a mortgage on my own place. I have a full-time job and plenty to do in the evenings. Getting a washer and dryer is the grown-up thing to do.

Heck, if I keep an eye out this weekend, I might even get in on some Labor Day sales.

But first, I need hook-ups installed, and for that, I need a plumber. (Wow, sorry it took so long to return to the point.)

I hate, hate, HATE calling strangers, especially when they're specialists. I fear they'll think I'm some stupid girl who has no business asking about their business. I had a job once where I had to cold-call people all day and it was AWFUL! I loathed that job and was thrilled to move into a profession where e-mail communication is the norm.

The last time the plumber came over -- about two years ago -- he asked me to contact my HOA for blueprints to the building to find out where the pipes are located. He'd come back then to give me an estimate. Well, I contacted the HOA, and they don't have blueprints. So... I sat around for a year.

Finally, this year I started asking my neighbors how their washers/dryers were hooked up. Turns out, they put them in a different closet than the one I planned on using. But I've already extended the closet and added an electrical outlet, so, my dad and I decided to punch a hole in the back to find the pipes ourselves. We didn't cut blindly; it's the opposite wall from the bathroom. I measured the distances and figured out where the pipes to the bathroom fixtures were. Then my dad cut the hole.

That was February. Since then, all I've needed to do was actually call the plumber... oh, and research venting the dryer into a box. (Tangent: the more I learn about venting into a box, the more nervous the idea makes me. But if I don't, I'll have to contact the HOA again. They weren't at all helpful when I first broached the idea of installing hook-ups. I might be able to sneak by with boxed venting, but I'm pretty sure they'd notice if I cut a hole in the roof, and I DON'T want to be liable if something happens to it down the road.)

Today, I bit the bullet and took the plunge (ack! Mixed metaphors!) I called and for a minute I hoped I would get the answering machine. No such luck. The plumber answered. Unfortunately, he didn't give a name, and the number my mom gave me was for a partnership, so I had to ask, "Is this Lynn or Bruce?" "Bruce," he replied.

Then I launched into a long, convoluted explanation of who I am and how they'd been to my place before and said I needed blueprints but the HOA doesn't have any... and then realized that all I needed to say was "Can you come take a second look to help me determine how to proceed with the hook-ups?" It's moments like those, when I become a rambling mess, that make me hate calling specialist/strangers!

Anyway, he said he'd call me to figure out a time to meet next week. I said that's fine and thanked him for his time. We'll see how it goes.

I did it. I'm a grownup and I called someone to help me do something I can't. Feels nice that I did something. Even if I am kind of afraid that I'm not really any closer to actually getting the hook-ups installed.

*Sigh.* Sometimes I wish I'd just paid the extra $3,000 when I bought the place so the previous owner could have done it for me. At the time I didn't think I could afford it -- my mortgage is already plenty high. On the other hand, this is so stressful!!

How Harry Potter should have ended

Yesterday, inspired by the following video, I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 in IMAX and 3D. I confess I didn't notice the 3D effects much, but I still love the movie!  Even though it was my third viewing, I still cried. That Snape memory gets me every time.

Oddly enough, some teenagers showed up wearing costumes. Three were generic students (from what I could tell) and one was Bellatrix Lestrange. Just reinforced my desire to unexpectedly wear a costume sometime.

Anyway, the video:


After seeing this, I couldn't help but watch several more How it should have ended videos (and maybe a few more today). I think my very favorite is this one:



 Happy Friday, my friends!

Good grammar is relative

[Not ending a sentence with a preposition] is the type of tedious nonsense up with which I will not put!

- Winston Churchill*

Though I was an English major in college and am now a professional writer, I promise not to correct your grammar during casual conversation. I don't like it when people do it to me, and I won't do it to you.

I spent years studying grammar and I learned that the English language is always changing. Anything that's "poor" grammar now was correct at one time. Sometimes I consciously choose to break the rules because I like the way the "wrong" stuff sounds. The phrase "might/could" comes to mind, as in, "I might/could run to the store for you." It's charming! It makes me giggle. Please, don't take my cheap thrill away from me.

There's a time and place to show off your intelligence, and insulting mine won't make me respect you more. All you'll accomplish is to encourage me not to speak with you any longer than I have to. Plus, there's the fact that most people only know of and follow a finite set of rules. They're sticklers on the ones they know, but break dozens they probably aren't aware of. Unless it's your own very young child (and by "very young" I mean maybe 10 or younger), correcting other people is just plain rude.

If I'm in a job interview, or giving a presentation, well, that's a different matter. I pay more attention to the "rules" then. There are some circumstances where the way you speak really matters and could impact you elsewhere.

But if I'm just talking with you as friend, please be forgiving. Please? It's just not nice!

*Turns out, this might not be a Churchill quote, but I like to think it is, so I'm leaving it.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

Okay, no chicken dinner (that I know of) but I DID win a giveaway on the Utah Theater Bloggers Association web site for two free tickets to see The Glass Menagerie at the Utah Shakespearean Festival! I am so surprised and excited!! I'll never be able to say "I never win anything" again :)

Better hurry up and go before it closes, eh? Hooray for quick and less-expensive-than-otherwise vacations!

In the hopes that I'm on some kind of winning streak, I also entered Banana Republic's Mad Men Casting Call. I posted the photo I submitted to the left of my blog posts -- please click on the photo to go to my page and VOTE! You can use your Facebook login information and vote once a day every day until the contest ends.

Remember this outfit from What I wore today: going retro for church? Let's hope it's good enough ;)

Don't you think I'd be a perfectly adorable secretary? Or crazy hippie corrupting little Sally (since they're moving into the mid-to-late 60's)? I don't know if I really expect to win, but it's more fun to play then just watch others win and wish I'd tried, which is what I normally do. Lame! It's about time I try something different. Worth a shot anyway!

Unexpectedly positive

My dear friends Theresa, John, and Angie lost their mom this week.

Two years ago, Jeannie was diagnosed with cancer, and up until about two months ago she had an amazing quality of life; no pain, and except for treatments she didn't slow down in caring for her kids and grand kids every chance she got. A few weeks ago she went downhill fast and her family checked her into a hospice center so that she'd have round-the-clock care before she died.

She died on Sunday, and although there are many reasons to be sad, the most tragic part is that Jeannie died just three weeks before her youngest daughter's wedding. She had already returned her Mother-of-the-Bride dress, and told Angie she'd enjoy the wedding far more from the other side.

I admit, I hardly knew Jeannie, but I knew three of her four children quite well, so it wasn't even a question of whether I'd attend the viewing on Wednesday. I wanted to support them and let them know I've been thinking of and praying for them.

With all of this in mind, though, I was thoroughly expecting the viewing to be a solemn, sad affair. I imagined everyone crying and ME crying and feeling stupid because I wasn't crying that I missed her, but that I felt empathy for those who would. I wished I'd thought to bring Kleenex.

So, imagine my surprise when my spot in the line finally reached close enough to see the family, and they were all laughing and smiling! (Those huge grins they totally inherited from their mom.) My friend Katie and I hugged them all and "oohed" over Angie's ring, and laughed about Theresa's rambunctious kids, and how John, Katie and I are all writers now. We talked about how kind their mom had been, how long since we'd seen each other, and I don't know what else. We chatted for so long that their older sister, Sina (who I looked up to but didn't know well), tapped John on the shoulder and said, "You're holding up the line!" She and we all laughed -- apparently they'd all had their turn holding people up -- then talked with Sina and her dad briefly before leaving.

I left feeling incredibly uplifted and happy that I had gone. I haven't been to many viewings or funerals and didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect it to be such a positive experience. I suppose that their energy, bright smiles, and the knowledge that life goes on even when you miss your mom is the best legacy Jeannie could have left behind. That's what I took from it. They've known for two years that this would be the eventual outcome, and as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, they believe that their family will be linked for forever and that they'll see Jeannie again. I'm sure that it hasn't been an easy week, but at least they were as prepared as could be and they have each other... as well as the multitude of people who showed up at the viewing and funeral. I hope that when I lose my own mom, dad, or someone else I depend on, I can handle it with such grace and gratitude. It was very cool to be a part of the experience.

I hope that this crazy time of funeral arrangements and wedding planning ends up being one they look back on fondly. It's nice they have something to look forward to and keep them busy while the pain is the sharpest. I love them, and hope the wedding is the party it should be!

Intermission pep talk

Sadly, the embedding option for my Friday video of choice has been disabled. Please jibbity, jibbity over to this link, and give it 164% of your focus, because it's awesome. I always have to watch at least twice in a row.

Jibbity, jibbity!

"Ya gotta BLITZ 'em! You blitz 'em!"

After the Last Midnight

Signs I'm no longer involved with a play:

1. I don't feel guilty about listening to something other than Into the Woods on my iPod. I missed you, Taylor Swift and Glee cast!!
2. I can paint my toenails again!
3. I don't feel like doing anything for a week, but I have plans every night (I don't do a show because I'm looking for something to do. I make time because I love it).
4. I miss my cast desperately.
5. My Facebook page is clogged with notes from friends telling me how good I was. I like those kinds of posts :-D
6. I find glitter and bobby pins in crazy places around the house.
7. My theatre supplies remain lying about the house for at least a week 'cause I don't want to put all the make-up away and wash my tights yet (see #3).
8. I comb my former castmates' photos on Facebook at least 3 times a day to see if anyone has posted anything new...but don't feel up to uploading my own yet...
9. I think about memories I want to write in my journal and/or blog about (coming soon!)
10. I start marking upcoming auditions in my calendar. No rest for the wicked, or weary, or gluttons for punishment, or shining happy people... or whatever the phrase is...

What are signs that you've finished a show, or completed a dance concert, or finished a big race or another milestone event? How do you unwind and cope with the letdown and homesickness? Any tips are welcome!

Keeping track of my schedule

Wow. That post on Monday was really badly written. I fixed it so that it now makes sense. *Sigh* This is what I get for writing a blog post after only about 4 hours of sleep and going to the dentist.

At the beginning of this year, I decided to buy a planner/calendar. I hadn't really needed one up to now (or so I thought), because I don't really plan all THAT far in the future. Most of the time I just live week-to-week, and unless I'm in a play I make a lot of plans at the last minute. I have tried keeping track of things in the past -- I had a planner once, like, 15 years ago, and have tried noting things down on my wall calendar at home like my mom does -- but these attempts were not successful. I'd forget to write things down, but I'd remember them anyway, so it didn't seem like such a big deal.

But this year I decided to give it another shot, and bought a dedicated planner.

IT'S. AWESOME!!

I haven't been completely faithful, but I must admit there are several benefits. For one, when someone says, "Are you busy August 20th?" I can look at the planner and say, "Yes." And when he says, "How about the 19th?" I can say "No plans! That's yours!"* For another, I can keep track of other events, like which dates my parents will be in Italy, or when non-Facebook-using friends are in a show. For a third, I'm missing fewer stuff, such as auditions, I want to go to. For a fourth, when I audition for a play, I can pull out my planner and easily find out which days will conflict with rehearsals. For a fifth, when I make notes in my journal about what I did the past week, I can just review my planner -- so easy (unless I didn't write something down because it came up last-minute)!  For sixth, I feel satisfaction that I'm actually sticking to something!

Sure, I'm a little late to the game, but I'm playing now! Turns out, it's nice to be somewhat organized with my time. One less thing to stress about. And it's a skill I'm developing that will probably be useful in the future. Yay!

Maybe next year I'll upgrade to a digital planner, or something online... what do you all use to keep track of your events?

*I do have other free days in between now and August 19th. Not many, but there are some.

Monday morning

I submit that there are few better ways to start a long week than by getting up early to visit your dad at the dentist, and watching the first twenty minutes of Disney's Robin Hood.


Oh, and no cavities. Not too shabby!

Cow Death*, or Into the Woods tybbling

• I'm at the point where I no longer feel uncomfortable and grungy in my perpetual state of sweatiness. Doing a show outdoors, in voluminous costumes (including a full-on wedding gown) for over a week will do that for you.
• The rain last week postponed our tech rehearsal, but we didn't have to cancel. And the rain on Thursday was gone by the time the show rolled around (apparently the wind blew over some set pieces, but I was oblivious). I kept telling myself I'd rather opening night be rained out than closing, but truthfully I don't want ANY cancelled. I am so grateful that so far my prayers are being answered!
• My falling down looks real!! Hooraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

• The prospect of brushing out my ratted hair every night makes me want to cry every night. I cannot entertain the thought of sleeping in it. I shudder to think how snarled it would be if I slept in it. *Shudder* If it didn't look so good I really WOULD cry. Thank goodness I'm due for a haircut anyway -- it'll be desperately needed after this run is over!

• I am too tired to think straight anymore. I am so tired today that the idea of not getting to sleep all day tomorrow makes me want to cry. I wish I weren't because I hate the fear that the show will go by too fast and I was too tired to notice. I'm sure I'll be just fine once I get off this couch, shower, and get some food! Thank goodness for the adrenaline and love of performing that will magically get me through the play tonight -- I have so many loved ones coming!
• Only two nights left, and we get better with each performance. I am so proud of this play!

See you there!


*"Cow Death" is the name of the music cue for when Milky White dies. This name cracks me up EVERY TIME I hear the cue.

Closure/no closure

Disclaimer: Not everyone approaches dating the same way. My experiences are limited to, well, MY experiences. I am handling my dating life as well as I can but I am aware that I make plenty of mistakes. Please no mean comments, even if meant to be "helpful." I'm looking for understanding here, since I'm just trying to understand, too.

I understand that not all dates will result in marriage, and one date doesn't mean you're obliged to ask for or accept another with that person. That's okay -- dating is experimenting. It's a job interview. How will you know you like someone if you don't give them a chance? If it doesn't work out, then you look for someone you might have a better chance with.

BUT, I find it the height of unfairness that if a man and woman go out a few times, and the woman continues to be interested and the guy is not, the guy can end the dating relationship by simply not calling the woman anymore. At all costs, he will avoid the conversation that might result in her being upset and him being uncomfortable. So, the guy moves on and the woman gets no closure.*

BUT, if the guy is interested and the woman is not, the woman has to either avoid phone calls for the rest of eternity (because it takes forever for the guy to get the passive-aggressive "hint") or tell the guy that she's not interested, which often doesn't go well. It sucks to have a DTR** with someone you've only been on a few dates with.

So, the interested guy ends up getting closure, but the interested woman gets nothing at all until she finally, painfully gives up hope that he'll call her again, and decides on her own that he must just not have been "that into her."

And when the heck are you supposed to have this "thanks but no thanks" conversation? At the end of the date, when in most cases the man has paid for the meal and/or entertainment and is in a great mood because he likes you so much? When he calls to schedule the next date? At the door when he comes to pick you up for said next date? I've had multiple experiences that have scarred me for life against being able to be honest about not wanting future dates while riding in a car. I put it off and tell myself I'm trying to protect myself and be nice to him, but the longer I wait the harder the conversation is and the more tortured I am. Plus, I don't like feeling like I'm wasting his time and money when I know I don't want to date him anymore.

Sadly, I am really good at these conversations. I hate them, but I can usually spin them in a light that doesn't make the man feel like a total loser. It's a skill I wish I hadn't had to develop. I loathe feeling like the bad guy.

A few months ago, Frank***, a guy at church I had only talked with a couple of times before, told me that he was that ticked a girl broke up with him over the phone. Apparently he had thought things were going well, and was caught by surprise. He was really mad that she didn't have the guts to tell him in person; he thought she was totally selfish for making a phone call instead because it would be "easier on her." (Yeah, I'm sure that call was really easy.) When I pointed out he at least got some closure, Frank admitted he frequently took the "never call back" approach when no longer interested in a girl. I pointed out that he selfishly wanted her to break up with him the way HE would have preferred, and asked what approach this girl might have taken that might have made him feel less "abused." He didn't have a response. But it didn't make him feel any more sympathetic to her plight. The whole conversation just made me angry... and convinced me never to go out with him. If Frank was going to tell a relative stranger (which I was at the time) all of this personal information and in such an angry way, I didn't need him potentially spreading bile about me to the rest of the world, let alone our ward.

Is there a perfect solution way to break up with someone? Of course not. I can only take it one date at a time, one guy at a time, adapt to each situation, and do what I think is best. I have a tendency to over-empathize with people at the cost of my own feelings, and end up giving too many chances because I'm trying to be nice. Someone (I can't remember who) once said, "You don't owe your date anything but kindness and respect." I need to be better at that... and expect kindness and respect in return.

Emily Giffin was right. The person who cares less really does have all the power. It's an unfortunate truth and an awful power that I choose not to abuse when I'm the one who isn't interested.

I will say that I have had some very positive "I'm not that into you" conversations that have resulted in continued friendships. I've even had friendships with guys who didn't ask me out again after the first or second date. It can be done! Sadly, this doesn't happen as often as I'd like, and I'm totally surprised when it does. Hooray for mature, decent, kind people! The dating process doesn't always have to be awkward and painful.

Hopefully, someday it works out. Until then, let's all just acknowledge that dating is difficult, and I hope it's preparing me for something in the future, relationship-related or otherwise!!

*For the record, I have called and asked a few guys out (because, in theory, we live in a modern age), and although they have always accepted, this course of action never resulted in a man asking me out on a return date. This is why I am a firm believer in the "If he's interested, he will ask you out" philosophy.
**A conversation colloquially known as "Defining the Relationship"
***Not his real name

Go to the wood!

Well, I'd say it's "finally" here, but we've barely had 5 weeks to put together Taylorsville Arts Council's production of Into the Woods. We've nearly driven ourselves and each other crazy, but we've done it! My latest play opens tomorrow, and believe me, you don't want to miss

her: 

Little Red Riding Hood, with the Baker and Narrator

 or him:

Cinderella's Prince and the Wolf

or her: 

The Witch

or him:

Jack (of Beanstalk fame)

 or her:

Rapunzel

or them:

Cinderella's stepmother, Father, and stepsisters

 Also, I'm in it:

Cinderella

The actors in this show -- guided by our brilliant director -- have created wonderful and hilarious characters. I couldn't even begin to pick a favorite, but I'm dying to know which you like best!

If you're in town and looking for a play to entertain, enlighten, and delight you, come to Into the Woods this weekend! I hope to see many of you there!

Now, go to the woods!!