Bossypants, by Tina Fey

I really wanted to love this book. I like that it's written in a breezy narrative, kind of like she's in the room telling me her random stories, and I enjoyed hearing about her experience as a comedian and a woman fighting to be respected in a man's profession. As someone who works with mostly men, I know all too well how difficult it can be. Men and women think and approach work very, very differently.

My favorite part was that where she discussed the writers at 30 Rock, and gave examples of their best work. I laughed out loud at this one: 


DR. SPACEMAN ENTERS FROM I.C.U. HIS LAB COAT IS COVERED IN BLOOD. THE WOMEN ALL GASP.  



DR. SPACEMAN:



"WHAT, THIS? NO, NO, I WAS AT A COSTUME PARTY EARLIER THIS EVENING...AND THE HOSTESS'S DOG ATTACKED ME SO I HAD TO STAB IT."


However, I hated that she took every opportunity she could to be as crude as possible. I am offended by the "F" word, and vulgar language in general, and there was plenty of both in this book. It makes me sad her editors didn't encourage her to be more mild to attract a larger audience, and even more sad she might be using that language in front of her kids. Then again, nobody forced me to read her book, and it was definitely in-line with her jokes from SNL and 30 Rock. I shouldn't have been so surprised, but I was.

Also, it kind of bothered me that it seemed to be a hodge-podge of memories, loosely (actually, not very) connected. It isn't Ms. Fey's style to write an "And then this happened, and then this happened" sort of book, but she jumped from summer theater to moving to Chicago, to her first job at Second City to her honeymoon without connecting the dots in between. Made for kind of a confusing read. As a biography, it leaves something to be desired. As a collection of short stories (a la David Sedaris) it works.

In closing, I'd like to use a brilliant quote from her novel:

It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don't like something, it is empirically not good. I don't like Chinese food, but I don't write articles trying to prove it doesn't exist.
I gave this book two stars because I didn't like the choice of language and probably won't read it again. If language doesn't bother you, then I would absolutely recommend it. It's a fun, quick read. Tina Fey knows how to entertain, and this book is a good example of why she's so popular.

And now I think I'll go watch her and Amy Poehler's Sarah Palin/Hillary Clinton sketch one more time...

The secret to winning at Monopoly

After dinner, my nephew pulled out Monopoly, and earnestly asked if I wanted to play. I didn't especially, but I said, "Yes I do!" 'cause how much longer is he really going to want to play with me? His mom said we only had time for a 20 minute game, and graciously offered to be the banker. She set up the board and gave Dave (the car), me (the battleship), herself (the top hat), and the G-unit (the horse and rider) the money we'd need to play. She also rolled the highest on the dice, so she got to start. Lucky!

I went last in the first round, and my first roll put me on the first Chance space. Wouldn't you know I'd be unlucky enough to pick the "Go to Jail" card?!! (I think it's highly unfair they don't even tell you why you're going to jail. Tax evasion, no doubt, in a game such as this.) I didn't want to pay to get out, so I tried three turns in a row to throw doubles, but no dice (ha! Pun intended!) 

Meanwhile, the others were buying properties like real-estate fiends! (It should be mentioned that Breezy decided to join us, and immediately grabbed all of the $5 bills from the cash box. G-unit said, "Gee, I wonder why she likes the 5s so much? ... we all laughed, 'cause Breezy sure does love the color pink!)

Once out of jail I managed to have enough time to buy one property, and pay rent to the G-unit and Dave for my other turns before Lindsey said we were out of time. We counted our money to determine the winner (to simplify, we didn't count properties). 

Guess what?! I won! Apparently hanging out in jail saved me from spending my money, so I still had $876 left. Ha ha!

So, there you have it. Jail time probably isn't a good strategy if you're going to actually play a full game (and it DEFINITELY isn't a good idea in real life), but this time, it worked like a charm.

Happy Sunday, friends. Hope your week is a good one!

Earnest closes tomorrow

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The good end happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means."

I made these "cards" for the little trailer video I made for my show. It was originally going to be a bit longer and include more story, but then I decided I didn't want to post any spoilers... and since my film-making skills are a little limited, the resulting original cut was too long and a little dull (which is unfortunate when I'm trying to entice people to see my latest comedy) :-P I'm a little sad I didn't get to use all of these cards, but the finished trailer is better without them.

We close tomorrow, and my feelings are bittersweet. On the one hand, I am exhausted and ready for a short break from performing before I jump into whatever project I do next. On the other, this has been a dream show, a dream cast, and just plain fun. I'm going to miss it.

I'm glad, though, that I know I'll be seeing some of these people again -- not about to let those friendships dwindle away!

Thank you to everyone who has come to support me. It means more to me than I can say, and I will be forever grateful. I hope you were entertained!

My big sister

Sometimes, I like to pretend I have a big sister.

I realize that having a big sister means I would have been the bratty little sister while growing up, but since I had a big brother I was that anyway, and my sister would have been older than my big brother. I read books like Little Women, Sense and Sensibility, and Ramona Quimby, and I wish I had had an older sister to guide me. Someone to watch and idolize as she got ready for dates, and went away to college. Someone to talk with about dating and what's going on in the family and to tell me when I'm being a pill and when she is proud of me. Someone I would have shared my entire life with.

Funny enough, lately when I think about my fictional big sister, I realize she acts just like Ramona's Aunt Bea (the epitome of the cool aunt), and looks just like Reese Witherspoon. Something tickles me about being known as the "tall Smyth girl", especially since my brothers are all so tall in comparison to me!
 
I've always had close girl friends. Girls I spend buckets of time with and talk about everything with and do crazy things with. I've never one who has really been with me through every change in her and my life. I know that not all sisters are best friends, but my brothers and I get along so well, why wouldn't my sister, too? Honestly, I imagine her being a lot like my mom -- terrific homemaker, empathetic, perfect listener, quirky, clever, excellent at Trivial Pursuit. I sure am glad for the relationship I have with my mom, especially now that we're grown-ups!

Let's get one thing straight: I wouldn't trade my brothers for anything. AT ALL. EVER. They are the kindest, smartest, most thoughtful, handsomest, funniest, most supportive and inspiring people I know, and I am so much better for the blessing of growing up with them. It's still weird to me sometimes to think about what we were like as kids, and suddenly they're these ambitious, hard-working, hard-playing, men. Better yet, they have awesome taste in women, and I have some brilliant sisters-in-law (since that's something I have no control over, I'm grateful the boys are choosing so well)! We are all so very different from each other, but we are all friends and we like to be together. I know that a lot of people would be jealous of my relationship with my family. I am in awe of who they are and all they have accomplished already in their young lives.

Men and women are so different. My brothers all seem so put-together and so often I feel like a big old mess. Sometimes, I just wonder how different I would be if I'd had a sister thrown into the mix, too... if I would have found more confidence in regards to dating, and had an identity within our family other than "the girl" (my perception, not necessarily my family's), and not been so self-conscious about my dual princess/tomboy nature. (I'd say, "and help train my brothers to be great to women", but they figured that out remarkably well on their own.)

Then again, I love the weird part of me that gets excited about the latest superhero movie, and has long conversations about the Lord of the Rings books, and knows a bajillion-and-one facts about Star Trek: The Next Generation. Something tells me I wouldn't have enjoyed playing Star Wars as much if I had had competition for the Princess Leia role. C3PO just isn't as alluring a part for an 8 year-old girl.

Even so, it's fun to pretend sometimes that things are different...

Are you close with your family? How do you think your siblings (or lack of siblings) affected your personality? Is there anything you would change?

The perfect date

It's today!

Miss Congeniality Perfect Date by whpd66

The weather is trying to kill me

Every time the weather changes, I can be sure of two things:

1. A LOT of my friends on Facebook will either complain about the snow/rain/wind, or cheer about the beautiful, sunny, warmth.
2. I will get sick.

#2 has been much improved since I went to the allergist late last year and got some meds. I am grateful, since the mild-to-warm winter was harder on the allergies than past winters were. Winter is supposed to be a time when cold weather makes plants dormant... but no such luck this year.

Now it's Spring again, and on the one hand I'm glad that means I get to start wearing skirts and short sleeves and spending time outside again.

On the other hand, pretty as they may be, I'm not excited about the trees and flowers blooming and pollinating. I was so whacked out and stuffy last week that I couldn't concentrate at work. I called in sick and spent a good deal of time in bed. Sadly, that's not something I can do continuously from Spring through Fall (well, I could, but I don't like working from home if I can help it).

I don't mind snow. I don't mind rain, and I don't mind sun. I live in Utah, and each of these options are pretty standard and wonderful in their own way. It's the rapid change from one to another that kills me. I know I'm not alone. I'm so sorry that so many have to go through this with me!

As far as chronic "illnesses" go, I'm aware this is a mild and very manageable one. Even so, it's obnoxious!

Hope Spring has been nicer to you than it has been to me. What has been your favorite thing so far? What are you looking forward to in the next couple of weeks?

Finally over Glee

It finally happened: Glee convinced me to stop watching it.

As I watched the Saturday Night Fever-oriented episode this week, I realized that I seriously can't stand some characters (okay, this was not news), and I don't even care enough about the ones I like to keep watching. Plus, the musical numbers were all awful, and that was the one thing I'd been holding out on (the one exception was the Vocal Adrenaline number with Alex Newell from The Glee Project -- loved it!). When I no longer care enough to even want to buy the music on iTunes, I know it's over. I think I'll buy Amber Riley's (Mercedes) version of "I Will Always Love You" and call it good (forget what the critics say about Jennifer Hudson, Amber is the true successor to Whitney Huston, if a successor is even possible).

The only thing I connected with in the episode was when Mercedes said that her dad is a dentist and would never support her dream of performing. My dad is a dentist, too, and I remember having a conversation with him as a teenager (at Lake Powell, of all places) where he said that no matter what happened in my life he wanted me to be able to take care of myself financially. He'd seen some of the struggles that other women have been through, and he didn't want that for me. He never said "Don't be a professional actress" -- I decided on my own not to pursue that route -- but I know that he is proud of my choices and independence. I'm guessing that he would have worried if I HAD tried to be an actress, but he would still have been proud and supported me. Mercedes's comment made me feel really glad for the choices I've made. In a lot of ways, I'm living my dream.

But I digress. That one moment was not enough to keep me on the hook. I'm free! I'm free from Glee! I want to say that I'll miss the characters I like, but honestly I'm much more excited about the next episode of Community and Parks and Recreation. Both of those shows have quirky, crazy characters that I actually care about, so I'll stick with them.

Are you watching Glee? What do you like or not like about it? Has it passed its prime, or am I giving up too soon?

"Megan" stories

Murphy's law states that anything that can go wrong will... couple this with my knack for clumsiness and awkward situations, and some days turn into a bit of an adventure. Here are a few embarrassing stories from last week:

• I arrived home late after watching the Monday night performance of The Importance of Being Earnest. I decided to heat up some water for tea. Well, I haven't spent a significant amount of time at home in quite awhile, and had a bunch of receipts and junk mail all over my kitchen counter. I moved it all away from the burner I planned to use, and then flipped it on. Then I turned to the sink to start washing dishes. About a minute later, I smelled fire. I turned back to the burner, and realized I'd turned the wrong one on and my junk mail was on fire! I hurriedly flipped the burner off, and immediately the flames started to die. I stared at them for about 10 seconds before deciding it wasn't worth pulling out my fire extinguisher. Instead, I dumped the contents of my water bottle on them (my mom was horrified when I told her that -- next time I'll use a pot lid to extinguish the flames). I have NEVER turned on the wrong burner before! I'm usually so careful! There was no damage done and I was safe -- thank goodness -- but a little shaken and a lot embarrassed... so of course I immediately text messaged a bunch of friends ;) A few of them told me they'd done the same thing. So glad I'm not alone in occasional absent-mindedness!

Totally work appropriate, right? :-P

• For my latest play, I style my hair in a ringletted up do. So, on show days during the week, I usually go into the bathroom after my 1:30 meeting and put my hair up in curlers so it dry by the time I get to the theater. Most people around the office know me well enough to assume that if I'm wearing curlers it's probably a show day. When I finished my hair on Tuesday, I went into the break room, where my former manager agreed with me that we're pretty easy-going here and joked with me that if another guy could wear shorts and no shoes (which is technically against policy) it's ok for me to wear curlers... wouldn't you know it, but the Sr. VP and CTO -- who comes into the office maybe once a month -- picks that minute to walk in. He gave me this look like "What the heck?!" but instead of asking me about it, he good-naturedly started a conversation with the manager. I could have died. The curlers aren't subtle, either. Today I decided to put a bunch in the small pieces of hair framing my face 'cause I like the affect... *sigh* I thought I was used to looking like an idiot in public. Guess not!

Lucky for me, the rest of the week proved less embarrassing... there's only so much a girl can take in such a short amount of time!

Little princesses

My Easter this year was very low-key. No candy (well, I bought a bag of peanut butter eggs), no bunny, no new pastel dress. I wore the same cute Easter-y outfit I wore last year, I enjoyed the talks and songs in church, and I had lots of flowers in my house, thanks to darling friends who gifted them to me last week when they came to my show.

But, really, the highlight of my day wasn't very Easter-oriented.

The best part of Easter this year, for me, was sitting in the bathroom and chatting with and encouraging my nieces as they used the pink princess potty at Grammy's house. They've been potty training for the last couple of weeks, but I haven't seen them since they started. Those little girls were delighted to -- one at a time -- pull me into the room, show off their newest skill, and laugh when the potty started playing music (a feature that is simultaneously adorable and disturbing). Breezy even dragged me in twice!

And the fun didn't stop after we left the bathroom (I know that sounds weird, and I don't care)! Dress-ups and balloon-tossing and brother torturing (a skill I didn't even have to teach them, in spite of my many years of practice) -- they just wanted to play with me, and I was happy to play with them, too!

My brother and sister-in-law encourage me to be as girly and princessy as I like with my nieces, since neither of the parents consider themselves very authoritative in that area. Well, I'm only too happy to oblige, and the girls love it! I bought them super-cute birthday dresses months ago that I don't get to give to them for a little while yet, and I have another gift in mind that I think they'll love. I'm warming them up to the idea of letting me play with their hair (Zonks let me french braid hers once, but I had to be fast!). It may be about time to start sharing my Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella DVDs, and maybe we can even go to the Princess Festival this year.

Having these little girls around is still such a novelty for me! I guess I can't pretend that my brothers' "boyness" quashed any of the "uber-girliness" that has come to define me (I have tomboy tendencies, but they are not as immediately noticeable). However, it's WONDERFUL to get to share frilly things with someone else who really appreciates it. I don't feel quite like such a misfit when around them.

Hmmm... should I feel silly that I have so much in common with two-year olds?

I can't tell you how fun it is to watch these little girls and their big brother grow and develop their own personalities. They are such funny, smart kids. I am honored to be their aunt. They make me hope I'm not too boring, and that they know how much I adore them!

Tiny humans are the best! More playtime please!

Oh, and Happy Easter!

Daily dose of drama

Couldn't wait until Friday to post this video:


You're welcome :^D

An Earnest video

Last night, my big performance fear came true: we had an audience populated by quiet people. They giggled here and there, but I think we only got two really big laughs the entire time.

And you know what? It was great! It took the pressure off trying too hard. They responded just enough that I KNEW they were having a good time, and I did too! I didn't have to worry about when to pause for laughter and I didn't feel like I had to kill myself or bend over backwards.  Our cast was relaxed and focused and grateful for the 30-40 people who came. It was awesome. So, now I hope never to be afraid of that again. My choices really ARE funny enough :^)

Meanwhile, I put together a little video from the recording I have of our final dress rehearsal (I had permission to take the video). I purposely only used lines that are funny out of context, and I didn't want to spoil the plot or big reveals -- just a silly little thing that includes some of my favorite lines. I love my cast so much -- they are SO GOOD in this play!


I am so excited to perform again tomorrow! My parents and a bunch of my friends are coming. Wheeee! I hope they like it!

Fighting with Mac

*This post might not be interesting to most, but if anyone has computer/mac experience I'd love your advice!

If my laptop at home were a person and had a face, I would have punched it days ago.

We are in a fight.

Basically, I want it to work as it has for the last two-and-a-half years, and it just wants to play with ColorWheel.


I HATE ColorWheel! It's been my constant companion for most of the last WEEK!

Last Thursday, I videotaped the last dress rehearsal of my show (it's legal because the script's in public domain and it wasn't an official performance anyway). I forgot how long it takes to download a video of 2+ hours. Unfortunately, it takes about 2+ hours, and I didn't want to stay up until 2 a.m. Thursday night. So, I let my computer download until its usual time for shutting off (you know, to save power).

Well, when I woke up the next morning and rebooted the machine, ColorWheel had appeared. I didn't worry, because I figured the machine needed to reorient itself. I went to work... went to a show... came home after midnight and turned the machine on again... and ColorWheel was still there, which I took to mean that it was still downloading the video (even though the countdown on the downloader wasn't ticking down). I stayed up with it until 2 a.m. but didn't see much of a change, so, again, I went to bed.

Saturday morning, first thing, I turned on the computer, and saw that the video had failed to download. There wasn't enough memory on the machine!! I spent the bulk of the day finding my external hard drive, backing up ALL of my files, and deleting a ton of photos and videos and other things while I listened to General Conference on the radio (that's what happens when you don't have cable t.v. and your computer won't cooperate -- hooray for reliable old-school media!). I tried downloading the video again, and at least when it failed the second time it happened fairly quickly.

Sunday was spent much the same way: deleting already backed-up videos and photos I thought I could live without. Then I tried to upload the video for the third time -- this time I succeeded!! Hallelujah!

Finally, everything seemed to be fine. I watched the first act of my show, caught up on some other t.v.... life as usual.

And then Monday happened. I booted up my computer, but anytime I tried to do anything my old pal ColorWheel would show up for awhile. Any video I watched on Hulu would take forever to load, show 15 seconds, and then fail.

So, I did what any rational, slightly clueless person would do.

I restarted the machine.

BIG MISTAKE!!!!!

It took 2 days to reboot. TWO DAYS! And it didn't shut down to save energy because technically it wasn't even on.

Monday night I started yelling at Mac. A lot.

Last night it finally booted up -- I was so relieved!! I deleted a ton of stuff from iTunes and then emptied my Trash can.  Then I tried to watch an episode of Smash. It didn't even get through the "what you've missed" section before a pop-up appeared to tell me I'm out of "application space" and had to shut down a few programs (that pop-up is the other bane of my existence). I closed down iTunes but left Safari up so I could try to keep watching the video.

ColorWheel has been eating up my screen ever since.

I feel so helpless! It's been a week, and I am waaaaaay past lost patience. I can't do ANYTHING! No internet, no weather.com, no t.v., no online journaling... granted, I'm making great progress reading my latest library book, but this is so frustrating.

Any advice? I bought it in September of 2009. Is it just old? It has been getting slower and slower the last few months. At this point, I'd fear it has a virus, but it's a Mac computer, and aren't viruses on those pretty rare?