I've been teaching
Relief Society (RS) -- my church's women's organization -- in my ward once a month for the better part of the past year. My last teaching calling was a good 10 years ago; I taught a Sunday School class during college. Since then, I've been in charge of music for various classes, and a member of quite a few committees.
But last year, I was asked to teach Relief Society. Like many of my life's "you're going to grow and learn and you're going to like it" experiences, I knew it was coming. Months before, Heavenly Father had planted the seed in my brain, and I started getting comfortable about the idea and joking about it with my friends. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father gives me some time to warm up to these kinds of things. I don't especially care for big surprises, and I would have panicked otherwise.
 |
President Lorenzo Snow, fifth President of the
Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints |
I taught this last Sunday, and I didn't feel as prepared as I would have liked. I didn't have a copy of the new manual,
Teaching of the Presidents of the Church: Lorenzo Snow, but I printed out the 1st chapter online. I had read through the lesson twice, picked out sections I thought might be useful, prepared a few questions and thoughts, and written it all down so I could refer to it as much as I needed (helpful to me especially when people make comments that divert from the topic).
Well, in the 10 minutes between my Sunday School class and Relief Society,
I LOST MY LESSON NOTES!
I took them out of my purse to review one last time, and then they were gone. I realized this just as Relief Society was starting, and I ran out of the room, whispering to my supervisor: "I lost my lesson! I'm going to die!"
Larissa said she had never seen me more panicked (and she has seen me on some pretty bad days).
Now, some people are born to improvise, or to work a crowd on a personal level like a stand-up comedian or public speaker.
I am
NOT one of those people.
I love to perform, but I like to do it after I've
memorized a script that someone else wrote for me and I've
rehearsed everything for a month or two or three (depending on the complexity of the show). Teaching is tough for me, because I can -- and do -- read the materials and plan a lesson... but I know that as an RS teacher I should be more of a guide than a lecturer. I point out sections of the manual and ask questions, and the spirit takes over from there. It's so nebulous and scary!
I walked back to the Sunday School classroom and looked in all of the likely places for the lesson. I could not find it. Usually, when faced with this sort of situation, I cry until I don't feel freaked anymore, and then I work through the emotions and THEN determine a game plan. I didn't have time for any of that. Instead, I grabbed an extra manual, found and circled the paragraphs I'd wanted read (thank goodness I had reviewed that morning!) and went ahead, silently and informally praying that the sisters would contribute, that the lesson would be okay without the cheat sheet, and that I would have enough faith to keep from shutting down due to complete terror.
 |
Some of my sisters! |
Lucky for me, many sisters
love to participate in RS classes. One of the other teachers and I joked last month that we only need 4 good questions, and the sisters will take over from there. I hear this is not true of the Priesthood/men's-only classes; it definitely wasn't true when I taught Sunday School. But the sisters' willingness to share their thoughts also pushes me to actively listen, try to say something encouraging after they finish (knowing that often what
they say totally blows
me away), and continue to guide the lesson as well as I can. Actually, it's kind of nice when the sisters take over and there are so many hands in the air that I don't know who to call on next! Those are the times I know the sisters are truly engaged and inspired. If they don't raise their hands, I hope that they're thinking of something else Heavenly Father needed them to know... or else they're just bored and there isn't much I can do about that.
Plus, someone once reminded me that people usually don't complain if the class ends a little early :-D
In the end, the lesson was just fine. We
did end a smidgen early, but several sisters approached me afterwards and expressed gratitude for some of the things I and others said. If that's the standard I'm going by -- whether the lesson was meaningful to someone/anyone -- I have been successful in all of the lessons so far. My favorite lessons have been those when I have felt the spirit strongly while baring my testimony and sharing how much I know Heavenly Father loves each of us. The sisters in my RS class are amazing! I wish I knew more of their names.
I'm grateful for this calling. I may not always (ever) feel prepared enough to teach, and I still get nervous, but I know that in the end Heavenly Father is in charge, the sisters will learn as much as they need/wish to, and someone will always something that will be insightful and meaningful to me.
What would you have done in my place? Are you one of those people who enjoys improvising and being in front of a crowd? Or would you have panicked, too?