Mmm...chocolate

(No, I have not cheated on my diet.)

Non-sequiters

Just some random thoughts I need to get out of my head.

• I read an article about how Great Britain is no longer shipping chocolate to the United States. I'm a little depressed this might mean no Cadbury eggs this Easter (not the cream eggs, just the chocolate and shell). I was terrified enough to run to the grocery store yesterday to buy up all the eggs they have... but there is no Valentine's Day equivalent!

• I'm burned out on exclamation points. I read a missionary letter where every sentence ended in one or more (usually more). So, I've been making a conscious effort to use exclamation points sparingly. I hope people don't think I hate them without that extra oomph at the end of every sentence.

• I wonder what it says about me that I'm more worried about breaking my diet than I am about a blind date I've set up for next week. Or maybe I'm just trying to relieve the stress I and the setter-upper might otherwise put on myself.

• In a meeting at work yesterday, we spent 15 minutes shooting the breeze, and then seven people gave status updates in a 15 minute period. The rest of the hour was used up by one person. This happens often with this guy. I'm not sure he is assigned the most difficult and conversation-needed assignments, or if it's his way of presenting things. Either way, it drives me nuts.

• I dreamed the other night that I was eating some amazing chocolate cookies. I dream these sort of things often in the second half of the Personal Trainer Food diet. I think it's my body's way of tricking itself into thinking it's still consuming the sugary treats that I love. Most of the time I am horrified and feel guilty about breaking the diet -- I only ever catch myself after it's happened. However, on this night, I became lucid and realized I was dreaming, so I indulged as much as I wanted! I was still relieved when I woke up and confirmed it had been a dream, but that might also be because I dreamed some of my closest friends were treating me terribly.

• It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who thought the Serial podcast was frustrating. It helps to know it's a real case and it ended on a fairly positive note... but I'm not sure that I'm interested in listening to season 2 if there is one.

• And sometimes you get a company-wide e-mail about an award that you aren't eligible for. No, it's for people who already get bonuses and free trips but apparently deserve more. Meanwhile, those of us who actually create the product quietly take our paychecks and go home (and wonder why Christmas parties were done away with). Welcome to the middle class.

And now for some that I found in an unpublished draft from May 2013. They're out of date, and yet I see no reason not to share 'cause they were relevant at the time (some still are):

• I'm a pretty good driver. Not terrific, but not terrible. Just pretty good. But I haven't been in an accident, or even gotten any kind of ticket in at least 6 years. So it really irritates me when I give someone a ride and they immediately start "backseat driving." Then I just get jumpy and nervous and make more mistakes that prompt them to police me even more... ending in my not wanting to drive them around anymore. Please, just trust that I care as much about your life as I do my own.

• I don't think Project Manager B understands that every time she gives me a new "do this additional thing ASAP" project, it delays the ongoing writing I'm also trying to complete. Since she's also seemingly concerned about me finishing up the writing, I would think she'd ease up on the frantic ASAP e-mails. I would also appreciate if she'd stop consulting with the person who previously did the writing for her team (I already feel like I'm not doing well enough). Then again, she's just doing her job the best way she knows how. It's not her fault I don't like feeling stressed and micromanaged.

• Sinus infections: How long to they take to heal for normal people? I'm on antibiotics, a decongestant, and neti pot, and stayed in bed for the better part of eight days, but I don't seem to be making much progress. I've decided to return to real life again and hope that my body catches up quickly, because I'm not missing another week of beautiful Spring weather. What's that you say? It's supposed to be coldish and rainy this week? *Puts fingers in ears* La, la, laaaaaaaaaaa! I can't hear you!

• I've been getting shots to help immunize me against my allergies. I have to get a shot in each arm each time, because I'm allergic to so many things (thankfully not pets or dust -- phew!). I'm at the point where I only need to go about once a month (it was twice weekly for awhile there -- my pocketbook said "Ouch" far more than my arm did). Even so, every time I go, my arms swell painfully AND itch for about two days. Still, I've had a couple of testimonials that these shots will help me out. Someday soon, I'll be able to enjoy Spring, and not be sick on my birthday in the Fall. Can't wait!

• Anyone else object to automated toilets? I don't mind almost any other automated thing: faucets, doors, soap dispensers, traffic lights, regular lights. But the toilets are so iffy. The only thing worse than it flushing while I'm sitting on the seat is having the thing flush MULTIPLE TIMES while I'm just trying to put a toilet seat cover down. I feel so very wasteful! (Ew, no pun intended). Side note: I think toilet seat covers are brilliant.

• There are few things worse than knowing a secret, and not being able to tell anyone. Most of the time, I'd simply rather not know and be surprised along with the recipient. If you MUST tell me the secret, wait as long as possible. I like to think I'm good at keeping them, but sometimes I lose track of who I can say something to and who I can't. I'm convinced I outed my brother to our grandma, but to be fair he had, like, three years to tell her (he also wasn't at all concerned when I called to tell him -- he figured she already knew). 
• HOWEVER, if the secret is about me... well... I don't much care for most surprises, especially life-changing ones. I need some kind of hint that it's coming, if not a full-on conversation. I don't deal well with change that affects me personally.

C'est tout!

Quotes from The Infinite Atonement

As I said in my review for the book The Infinite Atonement by Tad R. Callister, it gave me a lot to think about. Since I borrowed the book from the library, I didn't feel right about highlighting the snippets that called out to me. Instead, I took some photos.

Here are my favorites:

"Mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety."

"Faith precedes miracles, asking precipitates revelation, and pleading prompts pardons."

"Some may contend that the Savior cannot empathize with those who succumb to temptation because he never yielded and, therefore, he could not understand the apparently unique circumstances of those who did. The fallacy of such an argument is exposed by C.S. Lewis: 'No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means -- the only complete realist.'"

Megan reads The Infinite Atonement

The Infinite Atonement by Tad R. Callister
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The Infinite Atonement is a very thorough and respectful examination of the atonement of Jesus Christ. I appreciated the many quotes from not only LDS General Authorities, but non-LDS writers and scholars, too. I also appreciated the many real-world examples that helped make the atonement more understandable. I would have struggled reading this book a lot more without those examples.

What struck me the most is just how much the Savior went through to atone for my sins. Maybe that's a simple statement. Callister makes points about how the human body has failsafes when the pain gets too much -- fainting and death -- but the Savior didn't choose either of those. There are many, many wonderful tidbits that I had never before considered regarding His mission, His birth, His nature, and His sacrifice. My gratitude and testimony of my Savior grew a lot in the weeks during which I read this book.

Unfortunately, the book is structured like a law argument and was written with unnecessarily flowery and pretentious language. It flowed well, but was really dry. I do not recommend that you try to read it casually cover to cover. It's more of a resource book. One that should be studied over time.

I'm glad that I read it. I learned a lot about the whys, whats, and hows of the atonement. I only wish there was more advice on applying it to my own life. No one book can possibly explain everything about the atonement, but this felt like a good start for me.


View all my reviews

Fitbit fanatic

It didn't take me long to become obsessed with my new fitbit (and I was so worried I wouldn't do anything with it)!

Several of my friends each own one, and I'd been thinking about it for a while, so when Lindsey suggested that all of us Smyth siblings purchase one (or something like it) and participate in fitness challenges for 2015, I decided to take a chance. My generous parents gave it to me as a Christmas gift (fortunately, I found a great online deal at 1 a.m. on Black Friday).

In the two weeks since I've started wearing my fitbit, I've been a little crazy about trying to get my 10,000 steps a day. I walk in place during phone meetings at work. I walk or jog in place while watching t.v. I take long, circuitous routes from my parking spot to my apartment, and also from my desk to the bathroom at work.

Most of my coworkers got used to my latest weird habit pretty quickly. Some looked at me oddly the first time I marched in place during a conversation and walked down hallways I don't normally frequent, but all I had to say is "I got a fitbit for Christmas" and they replied, "Oh, just getting your steps in." They understand!*

Looks like I've joined quite the community. Goodness knows I'm not the first fitbit fanatic.

Actually, I might have started a fitness trend for my team. I mentioned to one of my East Coast coworkers that I got a fitbit and have been getting up for about five minutes each hour to walk around. She said she had a "sitbit" because it didn't become a fitbit until she stood up, and she kept forgetting to do it. So, she asked me to IM her every time I get up. I felt bossy for the first couple of days, but apparently she appreciates it, because she mentioned it to my manager and another co-worker, and now they are both doing it, too! I'm glad to have a workout buddy (of sorts). It's so easy to get engrossed in our projects and forget to move. I guess we don't have to do 5 minutes every hour, but I like that I'm moving around more during the day and not trying to catch up at night as much as I otherwise would be.

Best of all, I don't necessarily have to carve out a huge chunk of my day to dedicate to exercise (though I still do yoga as often as I can). I don't have to wait for a special time or get up early. I can do it throughout the day and I love that! I can be consistent about 10,000 steps a day. I've succeeded with the goal far more than I've failed.** When I get in the groove, I have a hard time making myself end the walk, and have been pushing myself to walk for longer periods of time.

Feeling pretty good :D

I'm enjoying this so much!


*One guy started laughing after about five minutes because he said my walking in place made it look like I needed to go to the bathroom. Funny enough, I did need to go to the bathroom; he'd interrupted me on my way there. I had wondered if it looked in grocery stores and the post office like I was doing a potty dance. Guess it does. I'm ok with it!

**The fitbit tracks steps and quality of sleep, and also tracks how many miles I've walked and calories I've burned (the measurements are based on my height and weight). I find it very frustrating that I have to walk about 12,000 steps to reach the goal 5 miles. I can't figure out the key to burning the goal number of calories -- the number of steps hasn't been the same any time I've managed to do it. I walked 14,165 steps to achieve everything the other day!

There's a heart on my face!

At dinner last Saturday, my friend Laura suddenly said, "There's a heart on your face!" 

"What?" I asked. 

"There's a heart. Let me take a picture."

Sure enough, there's a heart. I'd always thought it was, like, a wonky cactus or something. Then again, the location on my face makes it difficult for me to see well. 

I have no idea how long it's been there, and I spent a few years trying to get rid of it, but now it's just part of my face...

Not a bad one at that.

One, remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Two, never give up work. Work gives you meaning and purpose and life is empty without it. Three, if you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there and don't throw it away. 

- Stephen Hawking

Trying something new: The Genesis Group

I attended The Genesis Group fireside on Sunday. I'd heard of it previously but hadn't had a chance to attend. I will be going again some time in the near future. It was neat!

The Genesis Group was founded 40+ years ago as a place for black members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to congregate and worship together in a "more spirited" way than in their regular LDS meetings (which they also attend). They meet each fast Sunday to sing together, listen to speakers, and meet new people. While the adults and teenagers participate in their meeting, there are Primary and Nursery classes going on at the same time. The group is overseen by a member of the Seventy, so it's a legit program within the LDS church.

It was described to me as "like church, but more fun." Pretty accurate!

We all know I'm white, introverted, and grew up in Utah, so I was a little nervous as to what to expect. I was relieved there were a bunch of other white people there so I didn't stand out too much, especially when my date ran late. After welcoming everybody, the group president invited everyone to meet three people they hadn't met before. I had a chance to meet several additional people after the meeting. There was a feeling of community and acceptance. I could tell the regulars cared about each other and were excited to include everyone there. All the newbies were asked to stand and then we were all declared members of the group (they did not ask me to introduce myself, thank goodness)!

I was surprised when each musical number, speaker, and missionary announcement was followed by applause, and it felt totally appropriate. The choir wore robes and sang A Capella. In addition to an opening and closing hymn, we sang "Oh Happy Day" with the choir. I love the song! It was a wonderful mess because -- even though most of the words were printed in the program -- many of the attendees didn't know the melody and none of us knew when to stop. One of the choir members paused us partway through to encourage us to let go and sing with joy. "We goin'a sing in the key of Jesus!" We tried!

Each member of the group presidency spoke, as did Elder Allen of the Seventy. They said they hadn't planned it ahead of time, but they all spoke about forgiveness and, as Elder Allen said, cutting "out the contention in your life." I admit, I needed to hear those talks, and I'm glad I did. After the talks, they invited the members to bear their testimony.

The meeting lasted for nearly two hours which was a bit much for me, but I'm glad I stayed until the end when the choir sang one last time. I had to look up the words because the song touched me so deeply.

"Time to Believe"

Time to believe in what God said.

Time to believe in what he promised.

We see small, He sees great.

When we speak doubt, He speaks faith.

It's time to believe in what God said.

Don't allow your past to dictate where you're going

Or let who you are make you believe you can't go on,

Because God's promise is true and what He said He will do.

It's time to believe on believe I will believe.

I will believe what God said.

I will believe what He promised.

When I see small, I'll see great.

I spoke in doubt now I'll speak faith.

I will believe in what God said.

I do believe what God said.

I do believe what He promised.

When I see small, I'll see great.

I spoke in doubt now I'll speak faith.

When I see small, I'll see great.

I spoke in doubt now I'll speak faith.

I do believe.

I do believe.

I do believe.

I encourage anyone who is interested to check out the fireside, and take your families with you. It was a fun and uplifting experience, and I met great people. Like I said, I want to go again soon!

2015 Resolution Time!

Happy New Year, everybody!

I learned a lot about myself last year, and I decided I need to make some resolutions this year to keep me on track:

1. Physical: Exercise at least 30-60 minutes a day three days a week, or walk (or run) at least 10,000 steps a day. I would think the reasons for this are obvious. Last year I was consistent for nine weeks. This year I want to move more than I did last year. I did not buy a gym membership, but I did get a FitBit for Christmas and I already love it.
2. Spiritual:
   a. Read at least 4 gospel-related books in addition to The Book of Mormon. I struggle with reading non-fiction books, but I want to infuse positive thoughts and the spirit into my regular life more than I have in the past.
   b. Sit in the chapel and not in the balcony during Sacrament meeting. I pay more attention in the chapel, and it motivates me to be on time or early.
   c. Do not immediately open my journal when I sit down; make myself available to talk with the people nearby. I've been doing this for several weeks and have already met some cool people... and had one date.
3. Educational-ish: Read 25 books this year, including those in #2. Reading goals aren't new for me, but it is fun at the end of the year to see what I've read...and even more fun to surpass the goal and have to set a new one partway through the year. Hope that happens again this year!

That's all. I want my goals to be manageable and simple enough to remember and work on throughout the year. They aren't big, but they are meaningful to me.

I'm looking forward to this year. I get to go to Disneyland with my best friend, and my family is planning a vacation this summer, too. I'll also celebrate my 5-year anniversary at work; I've never worked anywhere for that long, and I get an extra week of vacation time as a reward! I also get to play a role in a play I've wanted to be in for years and years. With any luck, I'll have a lot more fun surprises (and few not-so-fun ones). 

I am hopeful!

What are you looking forward to this year? Have you made any resolutions?