My Book About Me

The last couple of weeks have been a little rough on me. The main reason is because I don't have a play to disappear into. I miss the social and creative outlet. Let's face it, it's hard work being myself and responsible all the time! Work, supervising remodel projects, and church activities take their toll. Luckily, I have friends to hang out with, and family to celebrate with. Plenty to do... but I miss doing a show. Whenever I get in my warm car I think of the year the A/C was out in the car and then I remember that was the year I did Oklahoma. And then I think about how much I love doing an outdoor show. Then I wish I were doing one, even though I know it's not a good idea right now.

I think one of the things I like about being in a play is that it focuses my energy. I spend the rehearsal period studying my character and getting to know her. By the time I start performing, I know that character, and I'm totally confident onstage because I don't have to worry about "what should I do here?" because it comes naturally.

Well, last Friday, I was talking to Wendi about missing doing a show, and she suggested that since I decided with my workload it would be masochistic to audition for one now, I should use this summer to study... myself!


I think it's a great idea. I realized that I don't always have confidence in myself if I'm in an unfamiliar situation. I generally like myself, but I worry all the time that others won't. In truth, I care too much about what others think. Is it because I don't know myself well enough to be proud of who I am? I've been spending so much time playing other characters, I don't really know myself that well without the context of a character. In a play I have a script and a director that I've been working with to prepare for the performance. During real life I can't rely on anyone else. I need to get to know me a little better so I'm prepared and confident and I don't feel like I'm completely improvising during every situation every day of my life! Improvving onstage scares me to death, and in real life it's not much better.

After I left work on Friday, I went to Target and bought a binder and some lined paper, and started making lists. Favorite foods, Talents, Favorite T.V. Shows, Places I Want to Visit, Things I Did as a Kid That I'd Like to Revisit. I think I need to buy a season pass to Hogle Zoo and start drawing my favorite animals, and I'd like to find my bench at the Gateway and do some more writing. This could be a complex character study, because I change from day to day, but I'm having fun! Anytime I start feeling sad about not being in a show, I add to one list or start another. It's a great distraction!

Is it egotistical to study myself? ...maybe, but I don't care. I need this. It's helping me to be happy.

Meanwhile, today at Institute I noticed that my toenail polish matches my new purple purse. I can't tell you how much that tickles me!

Beautiful Borrowed Things

Yesterday, two darling friends insisted I borrow their beautiful things. Just thinking about these friends and their things makes me smile.

Wendi recieved gorgeous flowers at work from a gentleman admirer yesterday. She is leaving town today for the next five days, and asked if I'd like to keep them at my desk and then take them home for the weekend. Is there anything lovelier than vibrant, fresh flowers on a snowy day?

Last night, I visited Kate and she was delighted to share her wedding plans and everything she's gathered in preparation. It's going to be a phenomenal event. I'm so excited! Kate pulled out her tiara and placed it in my hair. She me to wear it the rest of our visit and on the drive home! Maybe I'll wear it to work tomorrow... my co-workers all know me well enough not to be surprised when I wear things like that anyway.

You know, what "they" say is totally correct: It's the little things that make life so wonderful. Thank you my sweet friends for brightening an otherwise hum-drum day.

Lousy Leadership

I have been in charge of three meetings at work in the last two days, and though I was mostly prepared for the content of each, technology conspired against me, and all of them started late, amidst much confusion. I even accidently hung up on my manager and another woman on a conference call this afternoon. I haven't accidently hung up on anyone in 5 years! The rest of the meeting actually went quite well, but I cried afterward anyway. I just hated that I was so involved with the stupid laptop and wireless connection and the meeting room being occupied even though I'd scheduled it, that I couldn't pay great attention to all that was being said. Not a good position for one who is supposed to be in charge.

I feel like it was a lesson in what not to do. Hopefully, I've got all the kinks worked out, and future meetings will be better. After all, it doesn't seem to be an option to never let me be in charge of anything ever!

Just when I was really feeling hopeless and like I should be fired, my manager sends me this instant messaging conversation:

Beth (3/24/2009 5:37:50 PM): and thank you for organizing and leading us into the Indexing issues. You have it covered, Megan. Nice work. I am so glad to have your insight and commitment.
Megan (3/24/2009 5:38:19 PM): thanks, Beth
Megan (3/24/2009 5:38:27 PM): I am so sorry for all of the technical difficulties.
Megan (3/24/2009 5:38:36 PM): hopefully I'll iron those out with more experience
Beth (3/24/2009 5:38:59 PM): lessons learned, i expect. the more you practice (rehearse)...takes on a new meaning.
Megan (3/24/2009 5:39:09 PM): yeah
Beth (3/24/2009 5:39:47 PM): Just know that I appreciate all you do for our little team.

Seriously, I have the best job with the best co-workers ever.

Emily A, me, Wendi, Beth, and Michele S at the Christmas Party

The Monday Cast

Since neither my double nor I had any conflicts during the run of the show, we decided to pick a random day to switch casts. We both wanted to perform with the others -- we made friends in both casts, and each one has such a different dynamic. It's really fun!

Well, we picked Monday the 8th and Tuesday the 9th to switch. As I drove to the theatre on Monday, I was kind of nervous! It occurred me that most of the people I was close to in the show are in my cast. Of course, as soon as I walked in everyone was completely welcoming. They were all excited to see me there, and to see how the show would be different. I imposed my preferences on them -- my Vadoma is a lot more huggy than Skye's -- and they imposed their charm and talent on me. I hung out backstage with Shauna, Nate, Stormy, and Tara for the most part.

Tara, Shauna, Stormy, and me

The show went by too quickly, and before I knew it, it was over! I was rather bummed that I wouldn't get to perform with them again. At least, not all together like that. Sami, the Monday cast's Allan, gave me a hug and said it had been a pleasure. It was just one of many well-wishes, but I felt so loved and appreciated. To think I'd been nervous!

Well, Wednesday night I had just sat down to dinner at Rodizio Grill for my office party, and I happened to check my phone and found a message. It was Skye. She was having car problems and wasn't sure if her parents would let her borrow their car. She asked if I could do the show. Did I mention it was 6:20 when I saw that message? I kind of flipped out. Not only did I not want to ditch the party, a free meal, my friends at work, and the chance to make my boss look good in front of her boss, but I was not at all sure that I could drive home to pick up my show stuff and get to the theatre in Magna in time for the performance. If I wasn't in the first act it wouldn't have been a problem, but I'm the second character onstage and the first to open her mouth! I told Skye I couldn't do it. I felt guilty, but I knew if I'd tried to make it I would have been stressed, the performance would not have been good, and I would have resented Skye for making me miss my party. I called Skye later that night, and she said she'd been able to borrow her step-dad's car and made it in time. The show was fine, we are still friends, I had a good time at the office party, and all was as it should be. Phew!

So, when at 5:45pm today I saw two messages on my phone -- one from Nolan the director, and one from Skye -- I rolled my eyes. It turned out that not only was the freeway closed up in Lehi where Skye lives, but so was the road that leads to the freeway. Fortunately, all I'd had planned for tonight was Christmas shopping. It was a little hectic driving home from work and then to the theatre. On a good day it would have taken 45 minutes. Because of the snow, it took me and hour and 15 minutes, which was actually about what I expected. I was able to go slow and the roads were not too bad. The funny thing is, at 5pm, a coworker had suggested that if I had the show tonight I should have left then. At the time, the messages were on my machine, but I'd been in a meeting when they called so I had no idea... Oh! The irony!

I arrived at 7pm and discovered I can get ready in 20 minutes -- who knew? It helps that I don't do anything special to my hair. I signed in, did mic check, and saw a whole bunch of people in the cast, so I was quite surprised when Nolan called to see where I was at 7:15. At that point, I was dressed, in make-up, and putting on jewelry in the dressing room. He was in the room just outside and had no idea I was there.

I was thrilled to get to perform with this darling cast again. Such neat people, and I felt like I got to do everything I wanted to. I'm excited to see them perform on Monday -- the show's closing night.

The audiences since Saturday have been awesome! For the first week, we had maybe 80 people in the audience each performance, if we were lucky. Since Saturday, we've had full houses, and they are the kind of audiences that laugh and applaud. If you've ever been in a show, you know that performers feed off of an audience's energy, and if we can tell the audience is having a good time, we can relax and give them an even better show.

Saturday was possibly our best performance so far; we were all focused and everything seemed to go right. We all felt we'd performed a magical show, and then we went outside and it was snowing! It was like the fairy tale we just finished sharing with the audience was just continuing!

However, last night was the funnest show by far. We made all sorts of mistakes and had a few odd problems, but the audience loved us, and we just started goofing off and really having a good time. Not technically our best, but man, we enjoyed being together and appreciated all the whooping from our friends and family! Emily A, Wendi, and Michele S. from work all came. They've been hearing for awhile about how I love to perform, but they had never seen me onstage. I think they were a bit surprised -- they knew I had it in me, but knowing and seeing are two different things -- and I know they had fun. I watched them during the last scene, and they were laughing as hard as anyone (yes, I break the fourth wall all the time. It's a weakness of mine).

Sam, Aubrey, and me

'Twill be fun to perform twice tomorrow. We have a 3pm matinee, and then our closing performance at 7:30pm. It occurs to me that the last time I was double-cast in a show, I ended up doing either 9 or 11 shows in a row. My double got sick. Four shows is nothing. I did that in Birdie and loved every minute of it. I am really excited that a group of my Birdie friends are coming to the show! Nothing better than having some support from people I admire and adore.

And here's a photo of my brother, Aaron, my grandmother, and my mom after the show on Opening Night. You know, that was before the weather suddenly got bitter cold and snowy... Don't we all look fantastic?

Accela-versary

I realized this morning that today October 1st. That means that as of today I've been working with Accela for a year. Whoa! Where has the time gone?

I started off as the new girl, like everyone (unless they are a boy) does. I'd just come from a job where you pretty much have a handle on what you're doing within the first 30 days. But with this one, not only did I have to learn about the company and the features I was writing about, but I had to master five new computer tools before I could even start writing! Those first six-to-eight months were humbling and stressful in a lot of ways.

Now, not only am I not the new girl anymore, I've been privileged to train two new employees in the stuff I've learned. It really is true that the best way to learn is to have to turn around and teach it to someone else. I feel much more confident now in my abilities.

Anyway, I enjoy my job and am grateful to be useful and productive and that I work with the wonderful women I do. Beth, Michele, Emily and Wendi are supportive, honest, hard-working, thoughtful, patient, and hilarious. I cannot believe it was a coincidence we are all working here at the same time. I know they've been a great support to me, and hope I've been as beneficial to them. It's been a good year and I'm looking forward to the next!

Congratulations also to my brother Aaron, who started his job in Washington D.C. a year ago today as well. Way to go, little bro! I'm so proud of you!

Peanut Butter Heaven

Well, it's crunch time at work, what with the latest release less than two weeks away. It got to the point this afternoon where I just needed some peanut butter. You heard me: Peanut Butter, preferably with some chocolate. I try so hard to bring healthy snacks to work to avoid these moods, but sometimes only chocolate and peanut butter will do.

Anyway, I asked Wendi and Beth if they had any, but they were going to Harmons' anyway so Wendi promised to get me some Peanut Butter M&Ms -- my favorite (and yet, they're hard to find. What's that about?). I was thinking she'd come back with a little one-serving pack which I would have been very satisfied with.

I thought wrong.

She and Beth presented me with a 12.7oz bag of the M&M's, a 5.3oz bag of mini Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, and a box of peanut butter Ritz Bits! They wouldn't even let me pay them back for it -- just said they knew how hard I've been working and recommended I hoard it in my desk for when I need it (which I would have done anyway as they very well know). I don't generally eat a lot of candy (usually Beth and Wendi leave their sweets on my desk because they know I won't eat it, but it's too tempting to leave at their own...) so this will last a LOOOONG time. Won't be bugging them for peanut butter or chocolate in the near future!







I pretty much lucked out in the co-worker department. I love them!

And now I better get back to work.