8 of 10

**Warning! Do not read if you don't like hearing about needles, or medical stuff in general**

Yesterday I had my eighth acupuncture/acupressure appointment. I've gotten used to paying more attention to my body in between sessions, so that when Dr. Zhou asks how my neck, shoulders, and headache are doing, I can tell him honestly. After all, I'm really the one who decides what he's going to do. After the wretched migraines last weekend, I told him about my sinus infection (which I swear I had done at the first appointment), and he started putting the needles into my nose and forehead. I don't like it. But, I have been feeling better! At least, I don't get those headaches anymore.

Anyway, yesterday, he put two needles in the skin next to my nose and one in my forehead (where my third eye would likely be) for the sinus infection; and for the neck and shoulder issues he put one in the top of my head, two in my temples, two in the base of my skull, and two in my hands. Then he connected them all to the battery and started the current. One thing I really like about the acupuncture is that it really encourages me to fully relax... because if I don't, the muscles hurt where the needle is. Apparently, contracting muscles don't like the needles, but relaxed muscles don't mind. Then I can just let my thoughts wander or fall asleep. It's really cool.

I realized I still didn't really know a whole lot about what Dr. Zhou was doing. I have this habit of learning as little as possible about medical procedures before they're done to me, because if I know what's going to happen, then I think about it too much (like the laser eye surgery -- I think knowing exactly what was going to happen made it all the more stressful. I really hated thinking that I could screw up my eye just by rubbing it too much. Did I mention I'm a worrywart?). Generally, if someone I trust has already done the research and still recommends it, that's enough for me.

I realize this is stupid, because usually when I do learn about the procedure it makes me feel more confident about it. For example, I used to be really worried about childbirth. I know zillions of women have survived the process multiple times, but geez! There's this line in Look Who's Talking (sic) where Kirstie Alley says something like "Try squeezing something the size of a watermellon out of an opening the size of a lemon and see how you feel!" Yeah, it pretty much sounds like the worst thing ever. And then, in college, I took a human development class, and we watched a video that showed four different women giving birth (one natural childbirth first-time mom, one epidural first-time mom, one natural childbirth third-time mom, and a c-section), and I saw it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd imagined. The human body is apparently waaaaay more stretchy and adaptable than I'd given it credit for. The more I learn the less I worry, though it in no way looks easy or fun. But I am far less afraid of giving birth to my children. Raising them will likely be the really scary part.

But I digress. After Dr. Zhou inserted the needles into my hands, I lifted up my right hand and took a look. Huh. Sure enough there was a needle sticking out. The doc asked what I was doing, and I said, "I haven't really looked before." He was surprised and said I was "a strong woman". He is a very nice, older, Chinese man, and the language is a bit of a barrier. He went into some sort of compliment about how when he cuts up cadavers at the school where he teaches some of his students faint, but I didn't understand part of what he was saying. I got the feeling he was impressed that I hadn't freaked out from the needle. (I must say though, that cutting into a cadaver and practicing on a live person are very different things in my mind. I didn't mind dissecting dead frogs, sharks and worms in Zoology, but I'm not interested in working on live animals, even if they are sedated.)

After he was done and started taking the needles out, I asked him to show me one and how much of it he actually inserted into my body. The needle he stuck into my hand was, of course, longer than the ones he put in my nose and top of the head. I was a bit surprised at how much of each needle went in, though I took it in stride. I told the doc I have a lot of faith that he knew what he was doing. He seemed pleased. All I know is this stuff makes my body feel much, much better! If only I could feel so good all the time.

Only two appointments left!

I don't know how they do it

I don't know how to be sick for an extended period of time.

Let me back up. I have worked 9 out of the last 13 days, two of them from home, and been to the doctor twice. Since we just finished the big release at work we have a little "down time" to work on other projects, my boss had no qualms about sending me home early to take care of my health. She'd wanted me to take a vacation anyway, and though I would prefer to take a FUN vacation, I appreciate her support. Even so, I HATE calling in sick to work, and have never taken off so many days in such a short period of time. Not only did I get bored, but I felt extremely guilty for not being at work, and worried about what everyone else was doing without me, though, oddly enough, I wasn't worried about losing my job. I just don't like knowing that everyone is working hard but me!

My doctor who I love is leaving her practice, so I have to find a new one. Curses! In the meantime, I went to the same InstaCare "doc in a box" (Candice, my mom totally laughed when I called her that) that I saw last summer, and she said that I had yet another sinus infection. Since it was my third since June, she gave me stronger antibiotics.

A few days later, those symptoms seemed to be clearing, but I was getting massive headaches! Sheesh. I tried to go back to work anyway, but Beth sent me home again. I didn't want to see the doc in a box again, so I called my doctor for a referral, and saw a new doctor. I don't like her, yet. She just stared at me when I described my symptoms, and I started to worry she thought I was lying or wasn't sick enough, so then I started talking really fast and saying everything in my head. I am sure I came off as a total ditz, as opposed to my normal partially ditzy state. I think the headaches may be related to the huge, painful knots in my shoulders.

Annoyed with Western medicene, I decided I was time to call up the acupuncturist I had recommended to me a few months ago. I called this morning and made an appointment for this afternoon. The Dr. reviewed my symptoms, and then opened up his book (which was all written in Chinese) and pointed to two words he had handwritten into the book: Cervical spondylosis. Apparently, the shoulder and neck pain is a result of a pinched nerve in the top of my spine, and it has caused my backbone to go a bit out of wack. The Dr. was really surprised that a person as young as I was in such bad shape. The headache may or may not be related. He started doing chiropractic cracking, and then had me lay facedown on the table and he put needles in my neck, head, and hands. I'm not gonna lie -- the ones on the top of my head REALLY hurt! And the ones in the back of my head were painful if I tried to lift my head. But, it was about what I'd expected. What I didn't expect was for the Dr. to start an electric current through all the needles! So, I felt this warm buzzing pulse go through my body. I lay there for 15 minutes. It actually wasn't so bad for the first 14 minutes. If I didn't have such a good feel for the passage of time I might have freaked out. Fortunately, just as I was really starting to panic the timer went off, the current stopped, and the Dr. took all the needles out. It was weird! Then he gave me an awesome massage, cracked some more parts of my spine, and I was done... with the first session. So, I'll go every other day for nine more sessions, and then my spine should be right as rain.

Like I said, I don't know how to be sick. I don't know that I was particularly grumpy, but I sure did feel sorry for myself, in a spoiled, priviliged way. Then I started thinking about people who can't take time off for financial reasons, or who in the turn of the 20th century would loose their jobs if they didn't show up for any reason and still had to work 12 hour shifts, or slaves. I am so blessed I can stay home when I'm sick, but how horrible if I didn't have that option? No wonder people died when they couldn't take time to rest and worked with other sick people sharing their diseases in close quarters and unsanitary conditions. It's horrible! I am so lucky I live now and that my boss and coworkers are so good to me!

Likewise, I don't know how people who are sick for months or years do it! Sitting in bed, feeling crappy, having doctors who may or may not be able to diagnose you, treating you with medicenes that may or may not have the desired effect. I can't imagine how frustrating and lonely that would be. I know several people who are dealing with major illnesses right now. I am grateful that their friends and families are taking such good care of them, and for the miracles of modern medicene. I am praying for you!