Pretty shoes, pretty memories, pretty dreams

In college, I was all about wearing sneakers. I had a red pair of shoes that were probably the grandfather of the Vans that are currently so popular. They were so comfortable! I wore them completely out and when they were gone I was upset I couldn't find another pair.

Now, I find myself wearing sandals and flats and heels, but not tennis shoes so much. But after 6 months of dancing in too-large character shoes in Kiss Me Kate and Seven Brides, my feet needed a break. I needed comfortable shoes; ones I could wear to Joseph rehearsals. Everyone keeps talking about how great Vans are, so I went out and bought a pair in what I have decided is my favorite color:

Turquoise!

Aren't they darling? I love the color and the design and they go with a lot of my clothes! It's weird though... now that I'm out of the mindset of wearing sneakers I feel out of place wearing them.

Plus... I really, really hate to say it, but they are not comfortable. Waaaaaaah! My middle toes fall asleep in them, and the tongue painfully rubs on the scar on my right foot when I lace them up so I end up wearing them unlaced like a dork. Worse, I didn't discover this until I'd worn them to work one day, so the bottom is scuffed up and I can't take them back and exchange them for slip-ons. This is so depressing!

I have too many pairs of pretty but uncomfortable shoes I can only wear for three hours at a time :( Grrrrr.

Meanwhile, my mom requested that I take back a certain bunch of boxes she's been keeping for me in her storage unit. I said YES! Yes, please! I was so excited to see those boxes sitting in my spare room one day when I came home.

When I opened the boxes, I grinned. Suddenly I was six years old again:


BARBIES!!!

When I was a little girl, Barbie was my toy of choice, and this is obvious by the sheer number of Barbie-related stuff I accumulated over the years and now can't bear to part with. One box chock-full of dolls that I played with -- there are probably about 50 of them, including multiple variations of Ken, Skipper, Todd, Kellie, and assorted random babies. I had even packed them away in their original clothing (if I could find the original clothing). Two boxes of collectible dolls in their original packaging and never opened. One box of clothing and accessories. And one really, really big box full of furniture. I think we sold my dollhouses -- I had several, and I'm pretty bummed they're gone.

I pulled out a few dolls just so I could look at them. Memories came flooding back. Notebooks full of names and families I had created and the elaborate stories I made up. Playing with friends and spreading all of the Barbie stuff all over the great room in the basement. Fashioning wedding dresses out of my mom's many, many handkerchiefs and doing fashion shows and photo shoots. My brothers getting angry and pulling off heads or legs or burying them in the sandbox. A gorgeous red lace evening gown that my mom made that I think I left behind when we moved away from Bountiful when I was six... I've always regretted losing that dress.

For a few minutes, I was tempted to pull them out and start playing with them, but since it was a weeknight I decided to be sensible and go to bed instead. I may have to play though sometime soon. I really miss the little girl I was. The girl who dreamed of sister/best friends and boyfriends and splashy weddings and babies and long, long legs and long, long hair.

I think I intended to keep those dolls so that I could give them to my daughters and we could play together. But now... I don't know if I could share! Those dolls were dear to me! They were my little sisters and best friends! They got me through a lot of lonely and difficult times and they are still in good condition. Could I let some little girl wash their hair and put lipstick on their faces and break their furniture?

Probably. I'm sure I'll love my daughters much more than my childhood toys.

After all, what could be better than this?

Little shoes next to mine. I have no bigger dream.