Dating Rant

In regards to dating, 2013 has not been a great year for me so far. I'm not going to pretend it's been all bad. I have had some fun, I've learned a lot, and I have grown a little more comfortable with standing up for myself as an equal participant in a relationship. Hooray!

However, several things have happened that feel like the proverbial punch in the face. With that in mind, I just want to vent for a moment.

Note: I am not allowing comments on this post, because I'd prefer not
to do deal with them on this subject. My own thoughts are enough to
be going on for now. Thanks for your love and support!

• If I hear/see one more 19-22 year old girl whine about how hard it is to be single, I may have to smash something. Admittedly, I probably was one of those annoying girls. With the exception of this post, I tend to try not to dwell on being single. I would like to be married and yet I simultaneously acknowledge that I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm so tired of these girls posting their grief all over Facebook. 

• Dear #1 cheerleader: I signed up for online dating. You can stop pestering me about it now. If it works, great, but if it doesn't, please be ok with it. (I can live with the "I told you so's" if it does work. Everybody wins in that scenario!)

• What is up with the profile photos certain men put up on dating websites? Are they not really trying to attract women? Kind of a turn-off to only post photos of you wearing sunglasses (preventing me from seeing your actual face), photos you took of landscape and flowers on vacation (seriously?), photos of just your kids or past girlfriend (um... what?), half-hearted, blurry photos you took from your Mac at 2am where you aren't even smiling (sigh), or just not posting photos at all. Uh... I'm not trying to be extra-shallow, but I want to see what you actually look like, so that if we did arrange to meet I would know who you are! (Note, it bothers me only slightly less when people use these kinds of profile photos on Facebook, single or married.)

• Sometimes, I want to post something on Facebook like, "What is wrong with men? Why are they all such jerks?" And then I don't, because when I think about it I know quite a lot of non-jerky men, and there are likely a lot of other good men that I haven't met yet. It's unfair to blame all men when I'm really just mad at one guy.

• If we go out on one date and I say I don't want to go out again because I'm seeing someone else, it's not ok for you to throw a tantrum and make my life as difficult as possible after that. (Ideally, I wouldn't tell you about the other guy, but it was kind of unavoidable in this scenario.)

• I can totally relate to the girl in Larissa's guest post on The Cultural Hall blog who feels like the "token single friend." Thanks to all who don't make me feel this way. I have married friends, single friends, single-parent friends, teenage friends, empty-nester friends, etc. We all have different stuff going on. It can get exhausting trying to dissect "The Singles Problem" with those who aren't actually dealing with it... and boring when that's all my single friends want to talk about :P

• Actually, I love this post on A Blog About Love about 6 tips for single women (that also probably apply to men). I still hate it when married people give advice, but her heart is in the right place and it's also really good advice!

• But, seriously, married friends, don't post some jokey 121 reasons to date me and call me out saying you think I'd like it. I was unable to find it funny because so many of the items implied that the person writing (I guess in this instance, me) is a crazy idiot. I know you meant well, but it came off as condescending. You found your guy. Don't rub it in.

• Also, married men friends, don't tell me that if you were single you'd snap me up in a minute. The fact is that you are NOT single. Again, I know your heart is in the right place (and I would marry some of you if you WERE single), but this feels a little condescending. You're already married, so you're off the hook. And it makes me wonder why my single guy friends don't see what you apparently do.

• What is it with guys that don't want to be set up? Wait, let me rephrase that: I understand why some people don't want to be set up, and I respect that choice. However, consider this scenario: Your friend tells you that there is this awesome girl they think you would get along with. They give you the girls' number and you don't call. Then by some weird happenstance you end up in the same room with the girl, say, you separately are involved in a one-night-only variety show. You walk over to say "Hi" to the mutual friend, and the guy sees you and literally runs away at the first opportunity. This has happened to me twice in the last few months. I am a nice person and I hope I'm kind of pretty. It's really hard on the self-esteem when men can't try to be civil, or even look me in the eye. It's not like I'm trying to trap you! Sheesh! Relax! I can deal with men not being interested, but I can't deal with them actively being rude.

• Also, mutual friends trying to set us up: If the guy doesn't call me, give him a break. There are worse things than a guy who isn't interested (like a guy who runs away from me because you've put so much pressure on him and teased him mercilessly about it).

*Snarl*

*Sigh*

I think I have it out of my system now. Back into the pool!