Errands

I took work off today to get some things done for my brother's wedding. Thank goodness I did. I needed every minute and would not have been ready for the wedding without today!

What I accomplished:
1. Slept in (desperately needed).
2. Oil change (and watched a Patrick Stewart interview on PBS - awesome).
3. Full-body massage (a necessity after six months of character shoes, high heels, and high stress. The masseuse is a friend and came to my house. She is a miracle worker!!).
4. Made homemade peanut butter cups for the rehearsal potluck... unfortunately, I didn't have enough of some of the ingredients and they were an epic failure.
5. Grabbed lunch at Taco Bell (yaaaay for a meal!).
6. Returned a dress at Macey's and looked for wedding shoes, belt, and jewelry.
7. Dropped my vaccuum off at the repair shop (finally).
8. Bought ridiculously perfect shoes at TJ Maxx (Ridiculously. Perfect. Photos are coming).
9. Futilely visited Dillards in search of a belt and jewelry.
10. Bought two belt options at Nordstrom.
11. Bought jewelry options at Claire's, Charlotte Russe, and Chic Belle.
12. Had a manicure and pedicure (again, necessary).
13. Joseph rehearsal (this show is going to be FANTASTIC!!)
14. Hours chatting with my best friend and her husband (I don't get to do this nearly enough)!
15. Went to bed waaaay too late, but very happy and satisfied with how the day went.

Notice that breakfast and dinner were not on my list of accomplishments. Fortunately, other people had brought stuff to the pot luck at rehearsal and I didn't starve. Thank goodness for small favors! Also not accomplished: grocery shopping. I'm out of pretty much everything except lean cuisine for lunches. Sometimes I really miss fresh fruit and veggies and yogurt. Ah well, I'll make it to the grocery store sometime.

Phew! I hope I'm ready for the big day. No more time for preparations for any of us. Just going to go and watch my brother complete the best decision he'll ever make! I'm excited!

Cottonwood Joseph post #3: Butlerville Days

I posted again on the Cottonwood Joseph blog last night. This time I talked about our Pioneer Day adventures. We got to advertise for the show and had a blast!

Speaking of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, we open A WEEK FROM TOMORROW! I'm pretty excited. I am having a lot of fun with the show and the people in it. Hope all y'all will come if you're free!


[For convenience' sake, and because I'm afraid the Cottonwood Joseph blog will suddenly disappear one day, here is the post in full:]

Last weekend, a group of us from the show had the very cool opportunity to advertise and celebrate at Butlerville Days, a festival celebrating the pioneers who settled in the Cottonwood Heights area. It was a hot day, and we were exhausted by the end of it, but it was worth it!

We had sparkly stars painted on our faces.



We marched in the parade, some carrying the banner...


Some handing out flyers, crayons and candy...


Some riding in the car with music blaring...


...ALL of us singing and having a good time!


As I said, it was hot, so we were grateful for the people along the way who provided water bottles and encouragement. I was impressed by and proud of my fellow castmembers who were not afraid to walk up to so many strangers and had them fliers. Such brave children and confident adults!

After the parade, many of us helped at the Arts booth to sell bracelets with the phrase "Any Dream Will Do" on them. People who bought a bracelet and bring them to the show will get $1 off tickets for themselves and one other person. I bought three (in addition to my castmember bracelet) to give to my family. It didn't occur to me until the next day I had bought lightsaber colors -- green, blue, and purple (my cast bracelet is red)!


We also sang in the big talent show. We sang "Jacob and Sons" and "Joseph's Coat." We had some prime performance real estate, too! We got to sing right before the musical group Eclipse, so we had a huge crowd for the second song. It was great to feel the audience's energy and get everyone excited about coming to see us perform!



It was a fun day, and all of us who chose to go were glad we did. Any chance to sing these songs and play with this group of people is a happy one for me!

Blessed, honored Pioneer!

This weekend, Utah celebrated the 163rd anniversary of the Mormon pioneers' arrival in the Salt Lake valley. Utah residents celebrated with parades, fireworks, barbecues, family reunions, marathons and other assorted activities, but it didn't really hit me how proud I am of my pioneer heritage until I sang the following song at church today. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. It's a great song, and was a great reminder for me of the lives they lived and person I want to be. I really want to be the person described in verse two.



"They, the Builders of the Nation"
Text: Ida R. Alldredge
Music: Alfred M. Durham

They, the builders of the nation,
Blazing trails along the way;
Stepping-stones for generations
Were their deeds of ev’ry day.
Building new and firm foundations,
Pushing on the wild frontier,
Forging onward, ever onward,
Blessed, honored Pioneer!

Service ever was their watchcry;
Love became their guiding star;
Courage, their unfailing beacon,
Radiating near and far.
Ev’ry day some burden lifted,
Ev’ry day some heart to cheer,
Ev’ry day some hope the brighter,
Blessed, honored Pioneer!

As an ensign to the nation,
They unfurled the flag of truth,
Pillar, guide, and inspiration
To the hosts of waiting youth.
Honor, praise, and veneration
To the founders we revere!
List our song of adoration,
Blessed, honored Pioneer!

By the way, I just discovered that the LDS church has an interactive music player on their web site, where you can determine whether to listen to certain parts of the hymns or include the words. Super cool!

Facebook Fast

I have been taking a much-needed break from the Facebook online social-networking site.

The reasons for the break were threefold:

1. I spend way too much time on there at work. I was really good the first few months at this job at not checking FB during work hours EVER, but after Seven Brides while everyone was tagging photos I deteriorated into a FB photo-checking fiend, and I have a hard time limiting my jaunts to "just 5 minutes." So, to punish myself, I deactivated my account so that not only did I hypothetically not have access to anything on the site (presumably when I log in again I'll have everything just the way it was), I didn't receive any tempting "You have been tagged in a photo" e-mail notifications about it either.

2. I was starting to feel bad about my awesome life, because summertime is the time for engagements and weddings, and so many people have adorable kids, and/or are going on fun vacations. I was starting to feel jealous and depressed and I wanted a break from those taunting/smiling faces so that I can just do what I'm doing and love it and feel free and happy. (Please don't post comments saying "of course you'll get married and have kids" or "I'm jealous of your life!" I'm just venting. As I've said, I know my life is awesome. It's just hard to remember that when I am so darn tired all the time.)

3. Due to my rehearsal schedule, I haven't had a chance in months to see a lot of people that I want to see. I was getting tired of the old "let's get together sometime" messages that I knew I can't do anything about for at least 3 more weeks. It was creating no small amount of stress and frustration for me. Along the same vein, I keep getting invitations to things from people that I don't really talk to otherwise and it was starting to really annoy me. I've been involved in 5 plays in the last year and these people completely ignore my invitations (I admit I don't like when people say "No", but at least I can pretend they took the time to consider it and were honest about their intentions), but as soon as THEY are involved in something they shoot me an invitation. It seriously, seriously bugs me. After the fifth such invitation in one day, I rashly deactivated my account. It has been bliss.

Being away from Facebook for the last ten days has given me some time to think about what I really want to get out of the site. I have made several resolutions:

1. I've decided I'm sick of the surface friendships and I need to delete people I don't really have a relationship with and will probably never see again (I never accept Friend invitations from people I have not met). BE STRONG!

2. I also need to delete the boys that I hoped would ask me out who Friended me more than a year ago and haven't made any effort to contact me since. It depresses me to see everything they're doing, and devastates me when they get engaged which they inevitably will.

3. I am going to adjust my FB account settings so that, except for e-mail-type messages I don't get any FB-related e-mails in my google inbox. No "you've been tagged in a photo," "so-and-so responded to your Wall post," or "you've been invited to such-and-such event." I'll wait to see those until I log into FB. That should help curb the temptation to log in at work. Should.

4. I need to make more of an effort to actually make plans with some of those people I really want to see. I don't want to rely on Facebook as my primary source of what is going on in people's lives. Knowing how little I post on there, I am very aware that I'm getting a skewed version of things. This resolution includes going to events I might not really want to attend but involve people I haven't seen in a long time, or at least acknowledging that they sent me the invite. If I want others to be supportive of me, I should try harder to be supportive of them. For all I know they have the same rant about me.

5. At the same time, I need to be less critical of myself and realize that I can't do everything all the time. I felt terribly guilty when, during the last three weeks of Seven Brides , I missed at least six plays or other events that friends were in. I can't do it all. Nor do I really want to. I need time for me, too, and I haven't had that much lately, either.

I honestly don't know when I'll actually reactivate my account. It will probably be in the next couple of days. I would consider extending this Facebook fast for the rest of the summer, but there are several people I miss terribly who I can't reach otherwise. Also, my latest show opens soon, and I want to start letting people know about it!

I'm excited to return...and that disappoints me just a bit. When I signed up last year I knew I'd be one of those people who could spend all day every day on it, and I was right. So, I need to exercise more self-control at work, and create more opportunities to strengthen the relationships I want to keep. That's all there is to it.

Artie's Dream

In the t.v. show Glee, there is a character named Artie who is confined to a wheelchair. In one episode, it is revealed that Artie's one big dream is to be a dancer. And then, since in Glee's world it's completely normal to break into singing and dancing, my favorite sequence starts up.

I know they're trying to be like the Antwerp train station youtube video but I wish that the cinematography wasn't so cutaway and gimicky. I would love to see more of the actual dancing. I think that the audience reactions and shots of people recording the dance on their phones detracts from the actual story of the sequence which is that Artie loves to dance so much that it's infectious and all the people around him can't resist joining him. Still, I love this video. I can feel the joy!


Speaking of that Antwerp train video, does anyone want to help me stage something like this at the Gateway mall one day in August? We could bring a boom box or maybe even recruit whoever is in charge of the sound system and then dance in the fountain...getting totally drenched in the process. I'd need a choreographer to collaborate with and maybe at least 15-20 volunteer dancers. Oh, and someone to surreptitiously videotape.

(I just had this mental image of rehearsing the dance while people throw water balloons and squirt hoses and super soakers at us so that we get the idea of dancing in the fountain. And now I just want to have a huge water fight.)

Maybe I won't actually do anything with that idea, but it would be cool. And fun.

I haven't played enough this summer.

A Seinfeldish Story

I often feel that events in my life would fit right into a Seinfeld episode, and that I'm George. I wish I were Kramer. Kramer has the coolest stuff happen to him! Once, I had a toilet-paper run-in once that made me laugh because I had just watched the "spare a square" episode. Just random, go-nowhere events that make me sit back and go "Hmmm. That was weird and had nothing to do with anything." Am I looking for those events? Maybe. They make me feel like I'm living in the moment; that I'm involved in my life rather than just passively experiencing someone else's story and letting my own personal clock run out.

Then I think maybe I should write these things down so I can laugh at them later, or possibly start writing my own sitcom using events from my own life.

*Warning: Long and possibly uninteresting story ahead. If you choose to read the whole thing and don't like the ending, don't say I didn't warn you!*

The latest sitcom-worthy story took place at my condo on Saturday night. It's been so long since I vacuumed my carpet that I am embarrassed to say I'm not sure if it was in April or May. I know it wasn't June. I clean everything else in my condo often, but the vacuuming always somehow gets delayed. At any rate, a good vacuuming was due, and I decided Saturday night was the night. I was even excited about it! I dusted everywhere and put as much smallish furniture and accumulated piles of "stuff" as I could on larger pieces of furniture. I looked at all of that carpet that was ready to be vacuumed and couldn't wait to plug the darn thing in.

Now, my vacuum is at least 7 years old, and even though I bought it new I bought it at Wal*Mart and I did not buy the most expensive model. So, it's a cheapy little thing. And since I have so much long hair that is constantly falling out of my head (in the way it should so that my head doesn't get overrun with dead hair) the long hair tends to clog the machine and burns through the stupid rubber belt and creates weird odors when I vacuum, I have to unclog the thing often. It does an okay job most of the time, though, so I don't worry about it too much.

Well, there I was on Saturday night listening to Showtunes Saturday Night and almost giddy with the prospect of a non-dusty carpet. I plugged in the vacuum, and for about 5 seconds things seemed to be fine.

And then a horrible, acrid, burned-rubber smell permeated the air, causing me to frantically shut down the appliance, throw open the front door and sliding door, and futilely search for the fan I must have loaned to someone.

Sadly, it wasn't the first time I had encountered that smell. After manually fanning the vacuum with a towel to diffuse the stench, I grabbed my tool kit and took the plate off the bottom of the vacuum to confirm my suspicion. Sure enough, the hair had clogged the spinny-thing so much that it had overwhelmed the belt, and the belt had melted, resulting in the horrible odor and -- more importantly -- rendering any possibility of vacuuming with that appliance in it's current state to be moot.

"Frustrated" is not a strong enough word for how I felt at that moment. It was mingled with "disappointed" and "annoyed."

I briefly considered giving into a tantrum in the form of stomping to Wal*Mart to buy a new vacuum, but then decided I would simply go to the vacuum-repair place sometime this week and get a new belt instead. Hopefully I can get there tomorrow.

At any rate, I regretfully gave up on the vacuuming plan, and decided instead to sort through a stack of junk mail and other random-odd paper "treasures" that have accumulated over too-long a period of time. I more or less righted the room again and then dumped the piles of paperwork in the middle of the floor.

And then, for no reason at all, I decided to take the recycling out. So I grabbed the cardboard box overflowing with paper products and plastic bottles and bags, put on some flip-flops and headed for the recycle-specific dumpster. As I walked to the dumpster, I saw that there was a fire truck sitting the street right next to it. Suddenly (because I'd had a bad week, had been to the temple that afternoon because I was lonely, and this is how my mind works) I thought, "Oh my gosh! This is what the evening has been building up to! I'm going to meet a handsome fireman and we'll hit it off and eventually get married! What a crazy random happenstance it will all be and I will be glad that my vacuum broke because if it hadn't I would never have met my husband! I even look cute, wearing a dress and everything!"

Yeah...no. I took my time emptying my recycle box, but I never saw any firemen, handsome or otherwise (or evidence of a fire, for that matter). Instead, I took my now-empty cardboard box back to my unvaccumed condo, put in a Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVD, and watched a few episodes while sorting my paperwork, which I have yet to finish.

*Cue the closing credits.*

I told this story to some of my girlfriends last night and they laughed and told me that I'm still in the middle of my personal romantic comedy. It's possible I'll meet a guy while at the vacuum repair place...or I won't. It really doesn't matter. But I felt for a moment like I was living in a sitcom episode where nothing happens except that I am entertained. I was entertained though!

I'm totally George. Sigh.

Family Weekend part 2: 4th of July Birthday

My grandmother's birthday is on the fourth of July, and my family had a potluck birthday party for her at my parents' house. Since the holiday shindig coincided with the Murray family's reunion (my aunt Jo married a Murray), we even had a bunch of cousins in town from California and Wyoming. It turned into an awesome party, with little kids everywhere and cousins chatting who don't get to see each other in person very often. I didn't post any photos of the kids, but here are some others. I adore my cousins. I really am lucky to have grown up with and be related to such nice, smart, motivated, and all-around terrific people! Wish I got to see them more often.






With such cool relations, it's no wonder I turned out so wonderfully myself ;)

Happy birthday, Gram! Thanks for being the leader of such a crazy-terrific group of people. I love you and I am so glad you live so nearby!

Family Weekend part 1: Bridal Shower

My brother Peter is marrying his perfect match and gorgeous fiancée, Jordyn, later this month. To celebrate, help them accumulate some things they'll need for their home, and because we love them, Jordyn's sister Whitney, my sister-in-law Lindsey, and I threw Pete and Jordyn a bridal shower. To be fair, the bulk of credit for this event should be given to Lindsey and Whitney since I wasn't available for most of the planning meetings. They have the cutest ideas I'm glad I didn't blunder in and mess them up!!



We decided on a "garden party" theme in my mom's backyard, and were grateful that the Saturday we chose was nice and sunny! Most of guests arrived wearing hats, and Whitney and her mom decorated one for Jordyn that ended up being ADORABLE!

We started by eating and chatting, and then gathered for some games. I put together a Memory/Concentration game. The pairs of cards all had something to do with Peter and Jordyn's relationship milestones, such as their first meeting, how he proposed, registering for gifts, and so forth. Whenever someone guessed a pairing correctly, Jordyn and Peter had to tell the story. It wasn't a very interactive game, but it was a fun way for everyone to hear all of these stories. Since we had a lot of family from out of town and neighbors who might not know the stories (even I didn't know some), it was a fun way for us to learn about the courtship. Plus, they were so cute telling the stories! I wish I'd videotaped them.

Whitney's game was a He Said/She Said game, where she had previously interviewed Peter and Jordyn about their favorite books, movies, what they'd take if they could only take 3 things to a desert island, and so forth. At the shower, she then quizzed Jordyn what she thought Peter's favorite book, movie, etc was, and vice versa. If they guessed wrong, they had to stick another piece of Dubble Bubble in their mouths. They missed a LOT and it was pretty gross how much gum they ended up chewing! They were good sports, though. Peter held onto all of the wrappers -- it was an impressive number! It was also impressive how many answers they guessed correctly. They know each other pretty well, which is probably a good thing with the wedding just a few weeks away...

We ended the party with the opening of gifts, of course. Always so fun! I love watching brides open presents! She got a lot of practical gifts and some fun ones, too. She and Pete are off to a nice start.

And they are adorable together. I'm bummed I didn't get a better photo of either of them than this:

Photos of some of the other guests:

above: my cousins Emily, Natalie, and Kim with our grandmother
below: my aunts Jo and Elaine, cousin Sheridan, my mom, and cousin Sarah


above: Jordyn's friends and neighbors. Jordyn is in the center, her mom --Janet -- to her left (our right), and sister Whitney in blue is partially obscured. Sorry Whitney!!

I was pretty nervous about the event, but I had a good time. Janet said afterward that she thought Lindsey, Whitney and my mom should go into business as party planners (it's possible I was included in the party planner group, but they really did come up with all of the cute stuff). I'm inclined to agree. My female relations certainly do have skills!

Cottonwood Joseph post #2: No small parts

I posted again on the Cottonwood Joseph blog. To read the post, click here. However, I encourage you to read all of the posts on there. It's going to be a fun show, and I like reading all of the different perspectives :D

Have a happy day!

[For convenience' sake, and because I'm afraid the Cottonwood Joseph blog will suddenly disappear one day, here is the post in full:]

I just finished performing as Milly in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. It was a huge role and consequently a lot of work. If I wasn't onstage then I was getting ready to go onstage. I felt enormous pressure to do everything perfectly. I didn't want to let down my cast, my director, or myself. It took a lot out of me! After closing night I was exhausted.

I woke up the next morning, went to work, and then went to my third rehearsal for Joseph.

To be honest, I was looking forward to "just being in the ensemble" in Joseph. I thought it would be a nice "winding down" after Seven Brides. I liked the idea of standing in the back and singing a few songs and letting someone else do all the hard work this time.

Ha! I forgot that in a show like Joseph, the ensemble is in every scene and is onstage more than some of the leads!

There's a well-known cliché that states "There are no small parts, only small actors." It's absolutely true! Everyone who auditions for a show hopes to get one of the lead roles. They want to stand in the spotlight and have the applause all to themselves, and then if they are cast in the ensemble they are disappointed. I can understand the feeling. Being the lead is pretty cool.

But whether you're cast in the lead or the ensemble, you have the exact same responsibility: work hard to learn your part and perform it as well as you can EVERY TIME.

Every actor on stage is important because everyone on the stage is telling the story. You might be talented enough to play a lead, but guess what? Directors need strong actors in those ensemble roles as well as in the leads. Sometimes I joke as an ensemble member that "nobody cares what I'm doing except my mom," but I know that if I'm not performing my very best that I am the only one to blame if I look dumb. Plus, for all I know, there is someone in the audience who doesn't know anyone in the show, so they randomly decide to start watching me. I'd hope if they do they watch me because I'm talented or intentionally funny, and not because I look bad. I don't want to wreck the show!

Every person in a show has a unique experience in that show. I've done both Bye Bye Birdie and Brigadoon twice, once in the ensemble and once as a lead, and I loved both versions equally. I think my favorite part of being in the ensemble is that I get to make up my character's story. Does my character like Joseph? Does my character like pizza? What's my character's name? What's my relationship with that other ensemble member who is standing across the stage? Why am I sad during this scene and happy in the next?

The production team told us at the first rehearsal that they want each character to have a "Rockstar Moment" and we each get to decide when that is. I've chosen my moment (and if you want to know what it is, you'll just have to come and see the show). I love to stand in the back or the front or wherever I'm blocked and just sing and dance and have a good time. Maybe my mom will be the only one watching me, and even if she is I am going to have a great time!

Pretty shoes, pretty memories, pretty dreams

In college, I was all about wearing sneakers. I had a red pair of shoes that were probably the grandfather of the Vans that are currently so popular. They were so comfortable! I wore them completely out and when they were gone I was upset I couldn't find another pair.

Now, I find myself wearing sandals and flats and heels, but not tennis shoes so much. But after 6 months of dancing in too-large character shoes in Kiss Me Kate and Seven Brides, my feet needed a break. I needed comfortable shoes; ones I could wear to Joseph rehearsals. Everyone keeps talking about how great Vans are, so I went out and bought a pair in what I have decided is my favorite color:

Turquoise!

Aren't they darling? I love the color and the design and they go with a lot of my clothes! It's weird though... now that I'm out of the mindset of wearing sneakers I feel out of place wearing them.

Plus... I really, really hate to say it, but they are not comfortable. Waaaaaaah! My middle toes fall asleep in them, and the tongue painfully rubs on the scar on my right foot when I lace them up so I end up wearing them unlaced like a dork. Worse, I didn't discover this until I'd worn them to work one day, so the bottom is scuffed up and I can't take them back and exchange them for slip-ons. This is so depressing!

I have too many pairs of pretty but uncomfortable shoes I can only wear for three hours at a time :( Grrrrr.

Meanwhile, my mom requested that I take back a certain bunch of boxes she's been keeping for me in her storage unit. I said YES! Yes, please! I was so excited to see those boxes sitting in my spare room one day when I came home.

When I opened the boxes, I grinned. Suddenly I was six years old again:


BARBIES!!!

When I was a little girl, Barbie was my toy of choice, and this is obvious by the sheer number of Barbie-related stuff I accumulated over the years and now can't bear to part with. One box chock-full of dolls that I played with -- there are probably about 50 of them, including multiple variations of Ken, Skipper, Todd, Kellie, and assorted random babies. I had even packed them away in their original clothing (if I could find the original clothing). Two boxes of collectible dolls in their original packaging and never opened. One box of clothing and accessories. And one really, really big box full of furniture. I think we sold my dollhouses -- I had several, and I'm pretty bummed they're gone.

I pulled out a few dolls just so I could look at them. Memories came flooding back. Notebooks full of names and families I had created and the elaborate stories I made up. Playing with friends and spreading all of the Barbie stuff all over the great room in the basement. Fashioning wedding dresses out of my mom's many, many handkerchiefs and doing fashion shows and photo shoots. My brothers getting angry and pulling off heads or legs or burying them in the sandbox. A gorgeous red lace evening gown that my mom made that I think I left behind when we moved away from Bountiful when I was six... I've always regretted losing that dress.

For a few minutes, I was tempted to pull them out and start playing with them, but since it was a weeknight I decided to be sensible and go to bed instead. I may have to play though sometime soon. I really miss the little girl I was. The girl who dreamed of sister/best friends and boyfriends and splashy weddings and babies and long, long legs and long, long hair.

I think I intended to keep those dolls so that I could give them to my daughters and we could play together. But now... I don't know if I could share! Those dolls were dear to me! They were my little sisters and best friends! They got me through a lot of lonely and difficult times and they are still in good condition. Could I let some little girl wash their hair and put lipstick on their faces and break their furniture?

Probably. I'm sure I'll love my daughters much more than my childhood toys.

After all, what could be better than this?

Little shoes next to mine. I have no bigger dream.

Audra AMAZING McDonald

I have been fortunate to see many stage and screen legends perform in a live theatre setting. Julie Andrews in Victor/Victoria, Carol Burnett in Moon Over Buffalo, Richard Griffiths in The History Boys, Sutton Foster in Thoroughly Modern Millie and The Drowsy Chaperone, Chris Sarandon and Victoria Clark in A Light in the Piazza, and Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. There have probably been others, but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I was excited about all of them (especially Carol Burnett), but today I had an experience that blew the others out of the water... because I was only about 20 feet away from one of the most talented, honest, delightful, undeniably AMAZING actresses I have ever seen.

Audra McDonald.

I first saw Audra McDonald in the t.v. movie Annie, and when I learned she was a 4-time Tony Award winner, I started following her career and she has only become more and more famous and awesome. Now that she's on Private Practice a lot more people know her name, but it bothers me that she never sings on that show (that, and the fact that I cannot stand Addison Montgomery are the reason I stopped watching last year).

Well, she and Utah local-turned-Broadway-darling Will Swenson, decided to help Will's brother with a fund-raiser for Will's brother's theatre, the Hale Centre Theatre Orem in Orem, Utah. For two weeks both appeared as the two leads in 110 in the Shade -- which they both performed on Broadway a few years ago.

The tickets were quite expensive, so I decided that this was something I could live without. And then, serendipity struck. I was fooling around on Facebook one night, and saw that one of my friends had purchased tickets at an extreme discount because of a Groupon deal. She encouraged everyone to check it out ASAP because the deal ended at midnight. I checked my clock, and it was 11:51pm. I made a hasty decision and bought two groupons at $45 each -- about a third of the actual price. Not long after, I called the theatre and booked the actual ticket.

I invited my mom to come with me, because she is pretty much my favorite person to do things like this with. She's not really a theatre person, but she IS an artist, and I knew she would love this show (I was right, BTW).

Our tickets were for today's matinee. Mom and I sat in the center of the 6th row on the South side of the theatre, which turned out to be -- in our opinions -- the BEST seats in the house! I know that in theory every seat in a theatre-in-the-round setting is a good one, but in actuality that's not necessarily true. Like I said, this time we had GREAT seats! I was only blocked from the action a few times, and most of the time we had a perfect view of Audra and Will's faces.

The play was AMAZING (yes, I am embracing the overuse of the CAPS Lock key in this post. It makes me happy). There was no differentiation between the professional/equity members of the cast and the local talent. They were ALL so good! I had forgotten that two of my Little Women co-stars, Ricky Parkinson and Craig Williams, were in the show, and was happy to see them share the stage with such a fantastic group. Everyone was strong and made for an enjoyable performance.

I felt like the first few scenes/songs were just building up to Audra's appearance, and when she actually burst onstage I immediately started to cry from anticipation, relief, and joy. She was incredible. She was just so present the entire time. Nothing seemed rehearsed or forced. I really felt like she lost herself in the character and was dealing with Lizzie Curry's struggles. Her emotions were raw and painful and genuine. And it was really cool the way her face seemed to transform during the pivitol "I'm pretty scene." One minute she wasn't very pretty and the next she was gorgeous. No makeup difference, just her confidence and belief in herself. I couldn't take my eyes off her. And when she started to sing... lets just say I cried a lot, ok? When she finished "Old Maid" I was grateful for intermission, because I had to sob for a few minutes; I am so glad I packed kleenex. (To be fair, I was also crying because I can identify with the lyrics to the song.)

Will Swenson was electric. As soon as he came onstage I was rooting for him, and I hoped that his character really could bring rain to the poor town. I don't know that I've actually heard him sing before, and though I'm not a huge fan of the way he sings, it worked for the character, and I loved his charisma and chemistry with Audra. My mom tells me I may regret not asking for a photo with him. She is probably right. But for now, I'll always think of him as that guy from The Singles Ward movie...

At the end of the show, I stood and applauded with the rest. I couldn't cheer, because I was crying like a maniac again. Mom and I waited at the stage door with a group of fans so I could get a photo with Audra. I'm afraid I didn't have much to say. At least, nothing that she hadn't heard before. I felt like a starstruck dunce and even now can't look at the photo without cringing a little. But, I was sincere in my compliments and grateful for the 15 seconds she had available for me. She was so nice and so pretty!

I am so, so glad that I went. I was afraid that all of the friend statements and professional reviews I'd read were too good to be true. They weren't. Audra was amazing. The show was amazing. I have to agree with everyone and even support someone's statement that I may be a better actress just for having seen Audra so up close in this role. I want to be a better actress. I happened to run into a friend of mine who just happens to be the Chairman of the Board of Trustees at HCTO. He said that people had flown in from New York and Chicago just for the chance to see Will and Audra in such an intimate setting, and all of them had said it was worth the expense. I second that. I almost feel guilty for getting my tickets so cheap. Almost.

Tonight was closing night for Audra and Will, but the rest of the cast will be performing for another six weeks or so. I have no doubt it will continue to be a fantastic show, and I wish them all luck with the rest of the run!

As a final send-off, here is a clip of Audra singing "Raunchy", a song from the show, at the Tony Awards a few years ago. Imagine this, but from 20 feet away and LIVE.

FREAKING AMAZING!!

(Final count of the use of the word "amazing:" 7 including this note)

I'm Glad That You Were Born

I don't know why, but I am terrified to post this video.

Okay, I do know why. I'm afraid of nay-sayers and that people will tell me I am terrible and my voice is lame. It's the same reason I selfishly didn't tell anyone involved with the show about a local theatre review site I happen to have connections with that could have helped us advertise. That's also the reason I had butterflies whenever someone whose opinion I really care about came to support me. It's also why I choose not to try to perform for a living.

I like compliments. I look for every opportunity to give them, and I LOVE to receive them.

And now I feel like I'm fishing for compliments. I'm not really. Just tybbling about my insecurities. I am very familiar with my vocal strengths and weaknesses, and I know I sing well. Feel free to post a comment/compliment if you choose, but if you don't like it please DON'T tell me. As the great George McFly once said in a truly awesome movie, "I just don't think I can handle that kind of rejection." (Actually, he says it twice in the movie. And I could handle it, but I would prefer not to.)

So, with no further self-indulgent introduction, here is a video of me singing the cast and crowd's favorite Milly song from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, "I'm Glad That You Were Born" (note: this song is not in the movie):

(I think this might be the first time I've ever put video of myself on here. Weird. I'm not usually as calm and mature as I seem to be at the beginning of this one.)

They'll always be MY brides and brothers

*Warning: This post could get sappy...and long.*

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers has ended. It's over! I am sadder than I can possibly say. I love every show that I do, and I always meet fantastic people, but I think I can honestly say that I could have done this show for a year and never gotten tired of it (provided I didn't also have to work during that day. The schedule was tough). It may be my favorite show that I've ever done. I was not ready for the experience to end, and I haven't had the chance to stop and mourn it yet. I miss it.

As is my custom after I close a show, I'll now try to share some of my favorite memories and stories. It seems such an inadequate and incomplete way to commemorate a show that meant so much to me. But, I guess that's true of any experience. I read my journal, look at photos, and watch the video if I have one, but it's not the same as being there, living in the moment, and knowing that your life will never be the same again.

"Milly... how 'bout marrying me?"

To be fair, I did warn you this might be sappy.

"Beautiful, glorious, heavenly, marvelous, wonderful, wonderful day!"

This show was so hard! If I wasn't in a scene, I was backstage getting ready for one. I was on my feet pretty much the entire time, and by the end of any given performance my feet and back ached (next time I do a show requiring character shoes, I'm going to spring for some that are my size. This awesome DI pair are just too big). Although I worried about my lines and lyrics and the dancing, by the time we opened I felt confident and didn't make many noticeable mistakes for the paying masses. We had wonderfully supportive audiences and I was always grateful to talk with them afterwards. I was thrilled by how many of my friends came! And there were a lot of friends I hadn't seen in years. It was awesome!

I had the best "seat" in the house. I had full access to my cast members' facial expressions and ad libs and energy. Every time Brett (the actor playing Adam, wearing blue in my photos) looked at me in wonder and delight after I accepted his marriage proposal, I couldn't help but melt inside. So sincere and so cute! And dear Cody (Frank, in purple) worrying about doing "sissy stuff" during "Goin' Courtin'" just made me happy.


Then there was the scene when I meet all the brothers; they had such different reactions and with the audience laughing openly it was SO HARD not to laugh, too! The first shock at seeing Shane (Caleb, in orange) popping out of the laundry was killer, as was the bashfulness of Brandon (Daniel, in yellow) expressed in that foot moving back and forth. Actually, I did crack up once. I couldn't help it. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Michael (Ephraim, in green) pull a lacy camisole out of my suitcase and put it on his head and I lost it. I put my face in my hands for just a second, and then tried to recover by looking at Adam with a fiercely angry expression... it took me a good minute to trust myself to look at anyone else and react to what was going on.

One day as I was getting ready, I looked at myself in the mirror, and with my crazy curly hair and excessively long eyelashes and pink lips I blurted, "I look like 'Little House on the Prairie Barbie!'" Doesn't hurt that my costumes were AWESOME! I sort of -- only sort of -- wish women still wore bloomers and petticoats and corsets. I really think my looks are best suited to period pieces, which is one of the reasons I enjoy theatre so much.


May I just say, it was a little disconcerting yelling offstage at the brothers to give me their winter underwear? The boys were all changing out of their winter underwear and into their blankets. Sure, they were wearing biker shorts under their costumes, but I made a choice pretty quickly not to look directly at them. Changing in front of people is a way of life in the theatre, but that doesn't mean we necessarily like people watching.

One thing my 20 years of theatre training has taught me is to pause for laughter. Thank goodness, because there was a lot of it, especially in the scenes with the brothers. I did a lot of pausing in this show. However, I can do a lot with my facial expressions and body language, so even though I might not be able to say my lines right away I felt like the show was still moving along, which was nice.

One thing I've never mastered? Ad-libbing. I live in fear of having to cover up flubbed lines and missed entrances! During the middle of "Goin' Courtin'" the boys all left the stage to change out of their blankets and into a full set of clothes (shirts, pants, socks, shoes, removal of beard-stubble makeup) and I was left on stage alone. I worked out some ad-libs during rehearsal, but I was always afraid it would take Ephraim just a little bit longer one night and I'd have to keep going. Fortunately, he always showed up before I could get too uncomfortable. I'll love him forever for that.

"Look whose suited up like a dandy!"

I also love that I taught Ephraim how to waltz. So, when I'd grin that silly grin at him at the beginning of our solo it was because of my immense pride. He was such a cutie -- so nervous and serious and talented!

Okay, how adorable are these girls? The answer is: completely adorable. They worked freakishly hard and never complained, even when Nichole (Martha, in bright green) and Dani (Dorcas, in sea foam green) both sprained their ankles during performances. As far as I know, they didn't even mind too much when we couldn't get the rights to the "June Bride" song. None of us ever had any arguments, were free with compliments, always happy to help where we could, and very supportive. One day, when I broke down in tears (I was laughing, then I was crying -- I don't know what happened!) Nichole and Erin (Ruth, in orange) took me in the dressing room and just listened and let me be sad until I wasn't anymore. One of my favorite moments was watching them backstage as they silently performed "We've Got to Make it Through the Winter" while their brother counterparts performed onstage. So funny! They tried hard to include me whenever they could, even though when they were backstage I was onstage and vice versa. They were the best little sisters I could have ever wished for!


And I've got to say that I'm glad I didn't dance in the big Challenge dance. I have no idea how the brides, brothers, and suitors just kept going and going for 5 and-a-half minutes. They are my heroes!

My costar, Brett, was terrific. He and his girlfriend got engaged during the run and I couldn't be happier for them! They are two of the nicest, most genuine people you'll ever meet. And he's such a good actor! I really enjoyed playing opposite him every night. I must admit that most of the time when things went wrong it was my fault (like the laughing incident), but he never let it phase him, and it usually resulted in he and I permanently changing our line delivery in some fun way. He and I worked hard on our characters and relationship and by the time we started to perform we were comfortable with each other. It's nice to have that kind of trust with a costar. Trust that neither of us will take advantage during the kissing, trust that we'll help each other out with flubbed lines, and trust that we'll consistently do our part to make the show a good one.

Trust is a big deal in any show, really. This one had a lot of difficult fight and dance choreography, fast costume changes, scene changes, and specific props. I very much appreciate all of the people who helped me keep track of the insane number of props I had to deal with during the show. They were always where they needed to be, and I could not help but thank them every time I went offstage and someone handed me yet another tray of food. I had one thirty-second costume change, and without fail my three helpers were there to help me. Bless them.

"Now tap him on the shoulder and
say 'May I?' and the gentleman
will step aside."

For the most part, I gave up Diet Coke and ice cream for a month. My voice is pretty, but it's not terribly robust and I'm not an alto, and singing eight songs a night six times a week definitely took its toll. I figured it was worth the sacrifice of some of my favorite junk food to sound as good as I could. I love, love, loved the music and never ceased to be awed that I got to sing Milly's songs. My favorite song in rehearsal, "One Man" ended up being one of the hardest songs in performance. Turns out, walking around the stage three times in two minutes while singing a belting song is hard work; I was always out of breath afterwards. But, it was a dream come true to command the stage like that and hear the applause afterwards!

The cast and crowd's favorite song, however, was "I'm Glad That You Were Born" a lullaby I sang to the baby. I could not believe how many compliments I received and the number of people who told me I'd made them cry! It was a hard song for me because it was right in my breaking range. Consequently, I didn't use a lot of dynamics. I just sang it straight and loved that little baby doll and enjoyed being the center of attention. It was always worth it when Brett would come onstage and I could see tears in his eyes. It was an honor to share that tender moment with the audience. Someday I hope to sing it to my own babies.

There are so many more things I want to talk about, things I want to remember, but I think I'll save them for my journal. Good-bye Seven Brides. I loved you and I'll miss you terribly. Thank you for being everything I hoped it would be. Thank you for fulfilling so many of my dreams, for introducing me to such terrific people, and for helping me to grow in talent and confidence. I am so grateful to have been a part of this show.

Now it really does feel over.

I'm still not ready.