Starting Over Again

I was so nervous at my rehearsal tonight! The first rehearsal for a show I don't know well at a theatre where I haven't performed in 5 years. Ack! Fortunately, I know a few people in the cast and others are friendly. I have not met my double yet, but hopefully she comes to the next rehearsal and is easy to work with :) We started to learn a few of the songs and I get to sing second Alto. Oh, and I was measured for my costumes. I always love the music and costumes!

Always exciting to start with a new show. I can never guess what will happen during the next 10 weeks of rehearsal and 4 of performances. It may be just another show... it may change my whole life....

Whatever happens, it's going to be a lot of hard work and a lot of fun!

Thanksgiving Weekend Highlights

1. Baking pies with my mom.

2. Watching the Dancing with the Stars finale with my parents, Aaron, and Jordyn. Of the final three stars, I am glad Donny won!

3. Having Aaron and Peter in town.

4. Pie Night, of course! Getting to see the Wadsworths, Michelle, Laren and her friends. Varieties of pie included pecan, cherry, apple, razzleberry, strawberry-rhubarb, banana cream, coconut cream, peanut butter, key lime, and chocolate ice cream.

5. Everyone helping my mom get Thanksgiving dinner ready.

6. Thanksgiving dinner with the Cravens.

7. Playing Boondah/Scum.

8. A short nap.

9. The Fantastic Mr. Fox. "Are you cussing with me?"

10. Homemade turkey soup.

11. Professional family photo taken by a handsome british guy more than willing to act silly if it will make the babies laugh.

12. Lunch at Wingers.

13. Six or more helpings of leftover pie.

14. Playing Guitar Hero for the first time.

15. Bowling with the siblings and getting a spare and a strike!

16. Getting some work done over the holiday weekend (not exactly a highlight, but it's nice to have less to do on Monday morning...)

17. Friends at all of the final three performances of Sleeping Beauty.

18. Lunch at Five Star Restaurant and the boys dressed as nerds.

19. Kudos from the director, artistic director, and producer.

20. Cast party watching the Disney version of our play.

I really enjoyed my holiday weekend. I feel blessed that the busy holiday was punctuated by quiet moments and a lot of laughter. My family and friends really are the best. I hope everyone else enjoyed Thanksgiving as much as I did!

Sick Again

When I was sick as a little girl, my mom would bring me my favorite Campbell's soup with buttered toast and milk on a tray so I could eat it in bed. She'd then drag the little t.v. into my room and set it on a chair so I could watch in between naps. She rinsed out the garbage can, washed my sheets, and brought ice wrapped in a wet wash cloth. My mom too such good care of me!

I miss that. Now that I'm an adult I have to do it all myself. I know I really don't feel well the idea of making a much-wanted cup of tea in the microwave still isn't worth getting out of bed. Today was one of those days.

To be fair, I am sure if I asked my mom or my friends to take care of me they probably would. But then, they all have problems of their own.

I don't remember the last time I didn't feel sick somehow. I am so tired of going to the doctor.

In about 30 minutes I'm going back to bed, so that I can get up at 6am, be at work by 8, and finish up a project by 9:30. Then I'll work the rest of the day and go to the first Kiss Me Kate rehearsal at 7. I am excited about my rehearsal! It will be my reward for surviving the rest of the day.

Being an adult is hard.

I just wish I felt better.

Giving Thanks

I hope never to be one of those people who only expresses gratitude and appreciation on special days. If my family members and friends don't already know how much they mean to me then I need to be better. I need to tell them how I feel and not be embarrassed!

Today, I resolve to tell the people I love that I love them. I'm not going to wait for the "right" time. Every day is the right time. I will say Thank You for the little things, the big things, and everything else. I wouldn't be who I am without any of them.

I hope everyone had a happy, happy Thanksgiving Day. Mine was spent with family, which is the best way I can think of to celebrate any day. Getting the food ready, hanging out and laughing, playing card games, watching movies, playing with the nephew and holding the nieces. I can't imagine anything better!

Pie-Kus

In honor of Pie Night tonight and Thanksgiving tomorrow, I want to post a couple of the winning Pie-Kus from a contest the Deseret News sponsored. Click this link of you want to read more. They're pretty cute! Maybe if they do the contest next year I'll enter something.

Oh, sweet pumpkin pie!
Would it really matter if
I became fatter?
— Erin Renouf Mylroie, St. George

Crisp crust, pattern cut,
Berries barely peeking through,
Picture perfect pie.
— Marlene Merkling, Syracuse

FRUSTRATION
Rolling out pie dough
Shaped like South America
Oops, must try again!
— Connie Sabir, Salt Lake City

I made a pie crust from scratch last night, so that last one definitely hits home!

Emotion-proof Vest

Last night, I ran into a friend from High School. I was doing some shopping at the mall and discovered that Jay is a police officer assigned there. It's weird to run into a cop/friend while carrying a Victoria's Secret bag... almost as weird as giving him a hug and realizing he's wearing a bullet-proof vest. I saw him a couple of years ago, so I knew he was a cop, but the bullet-proof vest threw me. I didn't say anything about it. We just talked about his wife and new daughter and the fact he has to work extra jobs to make ends meet and my job and upcoming vacations. Jay joked about how he is losing his hair and I joked about always being in a play.

Jay also joked about having a hollow tin chest. He was always a cynical, sarcastic (and yet nice -- it's possible) guy, but it made me sad that because of his job he has to reject empathy and compassion on a daily basis. He deals with the worst 5% of the population on a daily basis. If he cared and worried about each one of them and let the cruelty and selfishness affect him, he'd go crazy and be depressed all the time. I can't even imagine how hard that must be. I reassured him in my usual slighty-ditzy way that as a music lover he will never be completely dead inside. Jay loves his job, but I can only imagine the toll it must take on him.

And then there's me -- the actress and girly-girl who wears her emotions on her sleeve. I love compliments and thrive on affection and appreciation. I care deeply about the people I love and think about them all the time. I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing. I believe that it's cathartic and healthy to cry once in awhile. And I would never want to turn off all sympathy. To live with that kind of emotional/emotionless armor would leach too much of the joy out of my life. Thank goodness I don't work in psychology or law enforcement where I'd be forced to lock my emotions and personal opinions away.

What is the balance between self-preservation and empathy? How can I show love to someone who is in pain without letting that pain destroy me, too? I am still trying to figure that out. I'm still learning not to let other people's critiques and even good opinions be the basis of my self-esteem. Still learning which battles to fight and what to let go. I'm still learning that I don't have to be responsible for other people's feelings all the time; if I'm not a perfect friend every minute it will be okay. Learning to trust that Heavenly Father is over all and that if I take care of myself and do what extra He asks me too it will be enough.

I kept thinking I should thank Jay for working such an important job. I don't think I ever did. I wish I had. I am so glad that he works so hard and is so faithful at his job taking care of the rest of us. Grateful that he wears that bullet-proof and emotion-proof vest so that I don't have to.

Beeker's Ode to Joy

This cracks me up for so many reasons! You might want to watch it a couple of times to truly appreciate the details in each panel. My personal favorite is the smoking violin...

Movie Slump

I used to love going to the movies. It was my preferred way to unwind. I'd leave work early or on time and go directly to one of the three theatres within 5 minutes of the office and while away the hours. Once in awhile I'd even do a double feature. It was fun! Relaxing.

There have been some good movies out lately, but I'm not motivated to go very often. I guess I've been busy with other things but I miss going to the movies. It was fun. It is fun. I saw An Education on Saturday night and it was pretty good but I felt lame being at the Broadway by myself with my mini-pizza and my diet Coke and my small popcorn. (Mmmm... movie popcorn.) It was lonely. I am tired of going by myself, but I don't plan ahead and by the time I decide to go I feel like it's too late to ask anyone else. I feel sheepish asking someone to join me when the movie starts in 25 minutes!

So, for once I'm planning ahead: Is anyone interested in seeing New Moon with me? I haven't seen it yet and I want to. I'm free Saturday night and I want to see it with some girlfriends!

100 Things

I don't really plan to become an evil overlord, but just in case...

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord
(there are more at Peter's Web site)

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
89. After I capture the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

What Happens to the Shoes?!!

Thank you for your Service

My friend Candice posted this on her blog, and I think it's a great idea. I just sent a card -- now it's your turn!

If you go to this web site, www.LetsSayThanks.com you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to a member of the armed services.
How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!! It is FREE and it only takes a second.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these? Whether you are for or against the war, our soldiers over there need to know we are behind them.

This takes just 10 seconds and it's a wonderful way to say thank you. Please take the time and please take the time to pass it on for others to do. We can never say enough thank yous.

A Tale of Two Computers, part 2

above from left: the old PC, the new Mac, and the subsequently returned Netbook

Continued from A Tale of Two Computers, part 1

I bought a new computer! It's a Mac and it's so shiny and runs so fast! I'm still getting used to the differences, and I haven't yet bought the iWord/iWork software that's supposed to be just like MicroSoft word, but I think I'm going to keep this one (wow. How's that for a run-on sentence?) And I configured the internet on it all by myself (next stop, setting up a Wireless network so I can log on from anywhere in the house).

Technically, my newest computer is #3, but I'm fond of the old title. Unless I have to work from home, I have officially retired the old PC. I am grateful I was able to backup everything on it before the USB ports went kaput. Our IT person at work needs to do a bit of research to figure out how to set up the SVN before I can work from home on the new machine.

When I bought the old PC, it was the most money I'd ever spent on one item at one time. I felt so grown-up and nervous and excited. It felt the same way when I bought the Mac. It was more money than I originally wanted to spend, but I don't regret the purchase. I am happy with my choice.

New toys are fun!

Communication Skills

I need to be a bit more realistic and firm and re-learn how to say "No." I used to be fairly good at it, but I've become timid, and I'm not being clear and I'm not being heard. As I read the segment below, I can see exactly what I'm doing wrong as the sender and why I'm not getting what I want. Sometimes I wish the receiver could just read my mind and appreciate and understand my point of view!

Communication is a circle, not a one-way street. You hear people say in life, "but I told him!" as if telling at somebody were sufficient. If he hasn't received what you've told him, there is no communication. It takes two to communicate: the sender and the receiver. The receiver has to acknowledge the message by sending a reply back to the sender, thus completing the circle before a communication has taken place.

This imposes a constant obligation on the part of the sender to (1) make sure his message is clear and (2) check that the receiver has received it. And an obligation on the part of the receiver to (1) make sure he's heard the message and is able to duplicate it and (2) let the sender know he's received the message. Without the process of duplication there is no communication.

Communication's not easy. We all tend to be lazy, thinking, "Well, I said it and it's his fault if he doesn't get it." Every time we think that, the communication fails. It's hard work communicating. Particularly because we must constantly play both roles, the sender and the receiver. Many of us prefer to play only one role, convinced we're not up to the schizophrenic activity of being two. But two we must be if communication is to take place...

Think of it as a circle; what you send out, you must get back. Until the circle is completed, you can't go onto the next step in the communication process.

Let us call each act of communication a cycle. When the circle is not completed, people get stuck in that particular cycle. Either they go over it again and again, or they close up; either way they are not open to hearing the next cycle of communication. If the sender goes blithely on, he has left the receiver behind; he's now talking to himself. Soon he'll blame the receiver for not listening; or the receiver will say, "I don't know what you're talking about," and hostility will result. A collision, head on, because communication has not taken place.

Worse, there may be no overt declaration from either the sender or the receiver that the communication has broken down, and each will assume he has understood. On the basis of misunderstanding, they will plunge ahead into further and further difficulties, blames, misconceptions -- all of which will inevitably lead to hostility...

Ask yourself: Am I sending out and getting back feelings, or am I just talking?

From "Guidepost #7: Communication and Competition" in Audition by Michael Shurtleff

Six Down, Six to Go

We are officially halfway through the run of Sleeping Beauty. How scary is that? Six performances down already! It's been fun so far. It doesn't hurt that I love my wise but giddy role, my talented and hilarious co-stars (and that this is a reunion for a group of us who haven't performed together in at least 10 years), the gorgeous Shakespearean costumes, the perfect music, the silly instruments I pretend to play, how tall most of the boys in the cast are as opposed to how short most of the girls are, the little girls who come wearing princess gowns and tiaras, the fight scene that from backstage sounds like a video game, the way I hold my wand, etc, etc... I especially love the way we banded together to teach a new actress the part of the Queen when our Queen got the flu opening week. I am really glad I am a part of this play!

I must say, it was a little scary performing last Friday after not rehearsing or performing for nearly a week. Really, it was fine; we all remembered most of our lines and our blocking and were able to pick up lines for each other when something was missed. The original Queen came back and did a great job in spite of missing the last week of rehearsal. Our three-year old Rose kind of gave her an odd look 'cause she was expecting her mom (the other Queen) but since she knows me and the other fairies we were able to cover the awkwardness. That adorable little girl steals the whole show!

My fairyness is a little trying sometimes. Mostly because I cannot get used to the wings attached to the back of my costume. I think they have it out for me. They have caught on the set more than once, though only once during an actual performance. Also, my two good-fairy counterparts and I have matching false eyelashes with jewels on them. The are uncomfortable, but we look gorgeous if I say so myself!

And then there is my wand, which I have managed to drop during two performances so far. So much for it being an extension of my hand! At least the first drop was during the middle of a jovial scene, so even though it was obviously a mistake and my friends poked fun at me later at least it didn't detract from the scene in a negative way. The second time I dropped it was on Friday the 13th just before the finale. After the Prince killed the dragon, the stage went black to give all of us time to get onstage and pretend that Princess Rose and her loved ones had been asleep the whole time. I tripped on my way to my position atop a platform... and dropped my wand. There was a loud sound as the wooden wand hit the wooden stage floor. Before I could stop myself, I whispered "Crap!" loud enough that everyone onstage and a friend in the tech booth heard it. Then my wand rolled off the platform and bounced on the stage below. This all took place in the dark with peaceful music playing in the background. I was supremely annoyed at myself (especially for the "Crap!"), but I was more worried someone would trip on the wand and fall. Fortunately, when the lights came up I saw it was out of the way. Unfortunately I couldn't conveniently retrieve it, so I finished the show without the wand. I felt pretty dumb.

Ah well, as far as I'm concerned that's the worst that can happen and all the rest of the performances will be pure awesome. In fact, I know they will be, because I am in charge of how well I perform, and I say all the rest of the performances will be pure awesome!

I do wish that we had a space where all of the actors could be together backstage. Once the house is open and during intermission we lock ourselves away in our dressing rooms so as not to destroy the illusion that we are magical fairy tale characters. I fortunately like the girls in my dressing room very much. However, I feel like I never see the boys. Even onstage we don't interact a whole lot. I look forward to going out as a cast after and in between shows so I can get to know them -- hopefully sometime soon we'll actually get all of the actors together as a group. Sure we had time to bond during rehearsals, but as I said I like everyone as a group and am glad for any chance to hang out.

It's a darling play! If you're going to come, you'd better book soon! (For ticket and box office info, click here.) We've been selling out and everyone seems to be enjoying it. I love performing in this show and I'm glad I still have six shows left. It will be over far too soon.

True Friends

Inigo: That Vizzini, he can fuss.

Fezzik: Fuss.. fuss... I think he like to scream at us!

Inigo: Probably he means no harm.

Fezzik: He's very, very short on charm.

Inigo: You have a great gift for rhyme.

Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.

Vizzini: Enough of that.

Inigo: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.

Vizzini: No more rhymes now -- I mean it!

Fezzik: Does anybody want a peanut?

Vizzini: Gah!

I love this scene from The Princess Bride, because Inigo knows that Fezzik loves to rhyme and goes out of his way to give Fezzik the chance. It's such a little thing, but you can just tell it makes Fezzik happy. Inigo just wants to make an otherwise depressing job more fun for his friend.

Everybody deserves to have at least one friend who really understands her and loves her for who she is. Someone who makes a point of learning the little things that make her tick. As a wise person once said, "Love is in the details." I wholeheartedly agree.

I am fortunate to have many such friends. Friends who will encourage me to wear a tiara, and sing along to whatever song is playing in the car, and remember I like the chocolate and peanut butter combination, and listen to my stories that don't go anywhere, and quote lines with me from movies like, say, the Princess Bride even though we've all quoted the best lines a zillion times.

Thank you to everyone who takes the time to pray for me, send me a text, read my blog, or even just think about me once in awhile. I am grateful for your love and support, and hope that I can be a friend worthy of you. I am very, very blessed!

xoxoxox,
Megan

Stressing

Work is getting stressful. Time to remove my feelings and concentrate on getting the job done.

The next two months are going to be... Well, I'll get through them. If this week is any indication, it will be a struggle.

*Sigh.*

Thank goodness I have Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years coming up, and a Caribbean cruise as a reward when this project is over! It's nice to have something wonderful to look forward to!

Audience Etiquette Monitor

This blog post is dedicated to Candice who blogged about rude theatre patrons yesterday.

Tonight, my parents, my grandmother and I finally got to see Curtains at Hale Centre Theatre. I've been waiting forever and it was totally worth it! I'm going to try to see it again. It was hilarious and the music and dancing was fun.

Before the show started, my mom pointed to a guy in the row in front of us who was talking to his kids. She said, "I bet that guy talks through the whole show." I told her that wasn't going to happen, because I was not afraid to tell him -- or anyone else -- to be quiet.

Fortunately, him talking didn't seem to be a problem, because about ten minutes into the show, he fell asleep. I could tell because he was snoring. Somewhat loudly. I missed an entire song because I kept hearing him. One of his two tweens woke him up at one point, but when he fell asleep the second time he started snoring even louder. It finally culminated in a snort loud enough that the entire section I was sitting in turned around to stare. And by entire section, I mean at least 50 people that I noticed from my peripheral vision.

You would think a snore that loud would wake him up. Oh no. Not this guy. He got in at least one more decent snore before I leaned over my grandma and two other people and whacked him with my program. If he had been any closer to me I would have been more gentle, or if we had been closer to the aisle I would have flagged down an usher, but I had all those people in between us and I was in the middle of the row and no one else was doing anything!

The guy did not react to my first whack, so I hit him again, harder, in the head. He snorted awake and looked at me with surprise. I said something like "You were snoring really loudly!" To his credit, he stayed awake the entire rest of the show -- both acts. I was surprised that he stayed for the second act. He even shushed his clearly restless kids a couple of times. He could have quieted them more, but it was obvious he was trying and I appreciate that.

During intermission, the guy sitting in front of the guy who had fallen asleep flagged me down and gave me a thumbs up. He'd wanted to do something about the snoring, but didn't know what, so he was grateful to me. Then I ran into Lizzy, who is an usher at Hale and a friend of mine. She had heard and seen the whole incident and re-enacted it for some of the other ushers. I was embarrassed but proud. But hey, it had to be done, right?

Just call me the Audience Etiquette Monitor. I stand up for all those in the audience who don't know what to do with a rude audience member; It's one of the few times I'm brave. I will continue in my crusade as often as I need to in order to enjoy whatever movie, play, or recital I'm watching!

"You Get What You Get

and you don't get upset!"

Life is not fair.
It's not supposed to be.
The odds of things coming out even are very, very slim.
I don't have to like it.
But I have to either accept the unfairness or do something about it (if change is within my power).

Until then: STOP WHINING!!

Dentist Stories

Once upon a time, about 10 years ago, I went to the dentist for some sealants. My dentist has televisions on the ceiling so that the patients can watch while we have work done.

On this particular afternoon, the Disney movie Pocahontas was playing, and as luck would have it, my favorite song came on: "Mine, Mine, Mine" where everyone is digging for gold. The song is just so great! I love the harmony and the words and the imagery... and suddenly a tear trickled from my right eye.

Now, you need to know that my dentist is my dad, that I worked as an office worker and then a dental assistant there for many summers in high school and college, and I've known everyone who works there for years and years. They are protective of me and I love to see them every six months. It's like a bi-yearly appointment to hang out with friends where I happen to also get my teeth cleaned.

So, when I started to cry, the assistant administering the sealants -- Leslie -- immediately stopped and asked, "Am I hurting you? Are you okay?" And then everyone else in the vicinity jumped up and demanded, "What are you doing to her?!" Poor Leslie was so flustered!

How embarrassing to admit I was fine -- just emotional about a song I like!

Every once in awhile, I think about that day and smile. It's nice to feel loved.



Fast forward to today:

I had a regular check-up this morning. Since my throat is still sensitive I gagged through the X-rays, but otherwise all went swimmingly. It so happened that the movie I chose today was Disney's The Lion King. I watched the very end, and then they started the movie over, so I got to watch the beginning sequence.

Would you believe I started to cry again?!

The music is just so good! And I love the imagery of all of the animals, and the palpable excitement as they all prepare to meet the new little king. I started to cry, the assistant -- Teisha -- asked if I was okay, and when I told her why I was crying she laughed and offered me a tissue. I even told her about the Pocahontas story and we laughed some more. I stopped crying by the time my dad showed up. Too bad. He probably would have laughed with us!



Now I'm even more excited to see The Lion King musical when the touring company comes next summer. Can't thank you enough, Steph, for selling me the tickets!!

And hey! No cavities! I'd call that a good dentist visit.

Another Blessing

Jake, Jane, and baby Bowen

My cousin Jane and her husband Jake had their first child in July. Since Jake's whole family is here, they came to Salt Lake for the blessing. I missed the blessing itself because I volunteered to watch my nieces and nephew so that Adam and Lindsey could go. I was happy to do it. Jane introduced Adam and Lindsey and they were there for Jane and Jake's courtship, so I knew how much going to the blessing would mean to them. Plus, more baby and G-unit time for me!

After the blessing we had a little party at my mom's house. Jake's family came, Jane's parents were in town, and a bunch of our Craven cousins came, too. We ate Cafe Rio-type salad, many different kinds of Halloween cookies, and leftover Halloween candy. We talked and held babies and played with the bigger kids. Any day I get to spend time with these people is a good, good day!*

above: Gram and me with Bowen
below: Jesse, Darin, Charlie, Emily, and Jake

above: Bowen with maternal grandmother (my aunt) Stephanie

And, of course, no blog post about my family or cute babies is complete without a photo of my own adorable nieces. They're getting big, but they're still so little!

*If you and I are Facebook friends, you can see a few more photos in the "Fun with Fambly" folder on my Facebook page.

Narcolepsy is Catching

My current play Sleeping Beauty opens at the Children's Theatre tomorrow. Please come! I would very much love to see you, your kids, and your significant others there. It's a children's theatre, but we've worked really hard to make the show fun for adults, too.

For information on performance times and ticket prices, please click here.

Hope to see you all there. Let's be honest, I don't get to see any of you nearly enough!

A Happy Halloween

Halloween this year was a great day! It started waaaay too early, with an 8am rehearsal. (We had to rehearse at 8am, because the show playing that day had a 10am call time, but more on that later.) Now, if I hadn't had rehearsal that morning, I would have worn my Sleeping Beauty costume all day. But, I did have rehearsal, so I just wore my thermal shirt with the crowns on it, and the "Miss Amazing 2008" crown that Emily H gave me for my birthday last year. (If I had thought of it in time, I would have worn the "Miss Amazing" sash too. Oh, well. I can bask in the faded glory next year!) At rehearsal, we ran a bunch of scenes, fixed some dances, and I got to try on my costume. My costume is gorgeous, by the way. I love it! Rehearsal was over at 10am, at which point I ate a banana and took a walk downtown.

My darling friends, Dot, Yakko and Wakko had graciously agreed to join me and see the show playing at the Children's Theatre that day. I was worried that something called Ghost Stories might be too scary for Wakko, but he and his older brother assured me they were never too scared. On the contrary, we all laughed hysterically. The play was awesome! I am so, so glad I went and even more glad I took those particular kids, because we had a ton of fun. The kids bought sodas and Swedish fish to share during intermission. After the play was over, I introduced them to my friend and the director of the play, Joanne, and the kids started talking about wanting to do a show there sometime which I think is a marvelous idea.

We swung past the kids' house on the way to lunch, just in case their parents might want to join us. We were a bit early, and Stephanie and Troy were still out, so we made our way to McDonalds where the boys played and we all ate and quoted some of the funnier lines from the play. We decided it was necessary to perform at least two of the stories for their mom as soon as we got home. We did so, and she laughed, though I'm sure our retelling was a little jumbled. Really, it was just funny watching Yakko, Wakko and Dot dance around. Ah... good times.

I would have liked to spend more time with their family. However, I was exhausted and needed a nap, so that's what I did before getting ready for the evening's festivities.

My friends Krista, Nancy, Arwen and I had tickets for the Thriller dance concert at Kingsbury Hall. We took Trax down, chatted with another passenger/theatre person who I run into every once in awhile, were invited to an inappropriate club by a toothless older man, and laughed at the drunk guys who couldn't figure out what our costumes were. (They "guessed" I was a Princess. Really? They weren't sure I was some kind of princess in spite of the crown and huge, puffy dress? And they weren't sure that Nancy was a cat even though she had whiskers, ears and a tail? That would be about the point I'd lay off the beer, but whatever...)

Arwen (a flapper), Krista (a little girl zombie), me (Sleeping Beauty), and Nancy (a kitty)

Before the show, some of the dancers wandered around and terrorized people outside Kingsbury Hall. Nancy wasn't terribly amused when one male zombie chased her around. It did add to the atmosphere, though.

The concert itself was amazing. They did some scary stuff, but turned most of it funny by the end of each dance. There was a dance about mummies, a ballet starring Frankenstein and his bride, a music video with the opening song from Nightmare Before Christmas, a dance about the Salem Witch Trials, a trio of Jasons, a depressed clown, and more. It was at least 2 1/2 hours long, but very entertaining all the way through. A great way to spend Halloween. The dancers even chose me to enter the costume contest at intermission. I didn't win, but was still flattered, and it gave me an excuse to take a walk to the orchestra seats from the upper balcony.

One of the many highlights of the night was meeting a lady dressed as Maleficent, the evil fairy from Sleeping Beauty. Awesome! Since I was dressed as Sleeping Beauty, I asked her for a photo:


Our ride home wasn't as eventful as the ride there, but I practiced my flirting skills and was pleased to have them reciprocated somewhat with plenty of mutual eye contact. I finally arrived home about 11:30pm. Completely exhausted, I nevertheless wasn't ready to go to bed, so I sat around in the costume a little longer and watched the Vampire Diaries and Monk. Maybe it's a little anticlimactic, but it was a nice way to end a great day!

Sick Again

Sunday night my throat started feeling a little scratchy and as the evening progressed, it hurt more and more. By Monday morning it was so bad I couldn't swallow. So, I called in sick to work and went to the Instacare where I wore a mask in the waiting room. I was assisted by tall, blond, handsome male nurse who gave me a strep test for the second time in 30 days... which was negative again. The doctor diagnosed me with a nasty virus and recommended ibuprofen and salt water gargle. I slept the entire rest of the day.

Today I worked from home all morning, which wiped me out for the afternoon. I feel compelled to go into work tomorrow, even though I am worried about working the whole day and then going to rehearsal. We're teching the show -- we open on Friday! I can't not go! And I have so much to do at work I loathe to stay home. Maybe I'll work from 9 to 3 and then sleep in my car for a couple of hours... Maybe I'll work from home again. I don't know.

Hand sanitizer, herbal lemon tea, ibuprophen, ricola, sitting down, and snatches of sleep have become a must.

Fortunately, I actually have food this time. When I was sick last month it was something of a joke. I should never let my cupboards get so bare. Or, I should just be less afraid to dig into my food storage. Fooood! Glorious food!

Too Darn Hot!

No, the title is not in reference to the weather outside (though it was a pleasant day today). It's in reference to the only song I know in the next show I'm doing.

Remember last week when I posted that I wasn't called back for Kiss Me Kate? Apparently, it was because they'd seen all they needed... to decide they wanted me in their show! I got an email on Saturday asking if I would accept a part in the ensemble (They had to send an email because it seems I gave them a bad phone number - ack!). I called the stage manager this morning and accepted the role. It was such a rush!

When I looked at the cast list, I realized I am one of only 14 girls in the show - 7 in each cast! Crazy, eh? I am totally flattered, and totally, totally excited. I loved the dancing at the callback and can't wait to get to know the show and the cast and become reacquainted with the theatre. I haven't done a show at Rodgers in 5 years, and I only did the one. I'm not thrilled about the commute in the worst months of winter, but maybe there will be people I can carpool with... I hope the other three people I know are in my cast -- or that at least one of them is!

Rehearsals start after Thanksgiving which gives me a chance to close my current show before I start another. That will be nice. Not really a break, but at least they don't overlap, and I already had a 9 month break from theatre earlier this year.

Yaaaaaaaaay!

(If the dancing is anything like indicated at the callback, or like that in this clip, it may kick my butt. That's worth seeing, isn't it?)

Coming Up:

I have one old computer that gets internet that doesn't accept new photos, and another that I can download photos on that doesn't connect to the internet. This means that I cannot add the photos I took this weekend to my blog posts until I find a functioning computer. The plan is to throw them online tomorrow during lunch, so I can write my blog posts around them.

Included will be posts about:

Halloween
My cousin Bowen's baby blessing
and Sleeping Beauty (which opens on Friday!)


I will be buying a new computer shortly... I will be really excited when I don't have these weird problems anymore!

Stay tuned!