The Challenge

Well, my attempt to fulfill Kate's challenge was pretty successful, as far as I'm concerned! I probably won't continue to post nearly everyday, but still planning on a couple times a week. Y'all will miss the 5 or 6 posts a week, I'm sure :P

Happy New Year, my friends! Hope you enjoy your evening tonight and that 2010 has wonderful surprises in store for all of you and me too!

Doin' the Robot

This is LXD (the Legion of Extraordinary Dancers). I saw them on So You Think You Can Dance. I don't think I blinked during the entire routine.

Elf Quotes

Just 'cause I love the movie, and I already miss the perfect weekend that was Christmastime, here are some of the best quotes from Elf:

Gimbel's Manager: Why are you smiling like that?
Buddy: I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite

Buddy: [phone rings, Buddy picks it up] Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?

Buddy: First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle.

Emily: We can't just throw him out in the snow.
Walter: Why not? He loves the snow. He's told me 15 times.

Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

I think it must be said that I made rather merry on Christmas day. I ate a lot from those four main food groups, and I was totally sick the next day! But then, when one has such an excellent cookie-maker as my mom, one cannot help herself. Sugar cookies, ginger cookies, chocolate cookies, gingerbread cookies. Add the random candy and rich breakfast and dinner foods we only eat the once a year and I couldn't help myself. It was worth every bite!

New Swimsuits!

Retail by Norm Feuti


I finally found a new swimsuit! And it's cute! In fact, I found two cute suits! Just in time for me to go on that cruise next month! Hooraaaaay!

Details

Some are so caught up in the details of running their lives that they don't make time for much else.
- Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I am very worried that this is what I am doing. Maybe my New Year's resolution will be to focus more on "working to live" than "living to work." Take more vacations. Spend more time with family. Take pride in my work, yes, but don't plan my life around work deadlines next year like I did this one. It's necessary. I don't want my life to pass me by!

Luke 2: 10-16

"And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.

And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger."

Live Theatre

Cul de Sac by Richard Thompson

My first lead in a play was in my 3rd grade Christmas play. We did a non-ballet, all-singing version of the Nutcracker, and I played Maria/Clara. I had two lines, and I remember being very conflicted whether I should say "Aunts" or "Ants" (I think I decided on "Aunts").

Since then, I've had a soft spot for Christmas plays, music, and other performances. In the last three weeks, I saw A Christmas Carol, Scrooge, Babes in Toyland, Nutcracker: Men in Tights, Savior of the World, and my ward choir's Christmas program. Each has given me a little more insight into what Christmas means to me. Been an inspiring and happy three weeks!

Only one more sleep 'til Christmas Eve!

A Christmas-y House

Well, I've been working on my goals to get in the Christmas spirit, and they are working! I am enjoying the season much more, work is getting to me slightly less, and I am really, really excited for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Two four-day weekends in a row spent almost exclusively with my whole family is music to my ears!

I spent one late Saturday evening, and an even later Sunday night putting my decorations up. I think they turned out pretty cute. I look forward to coming home and plugging in the lights every night. It was fun to put it all together while watching Love Actually (edited, thanks to Aaron), and listening to Showtunes Saturday Night play songs from movie-musicals that are now classic Christmas Carols, such as "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" and "We Need a Little Christmas." How I love to sing and listen to Christmas Carols!

below: Instead of putting lights on the balcony where I'll never see them, I put them up over the sliding glass doors. I love them there!

This is not my Christmas tree. Just another random tree with lights wrapped around it.

My official Christmas tree

My mom painted this Santa-gourd for me last year. Isn't it darling?

These snowmen spell out "Joy" with the letters in their hands. This was a white elephant gift from work a few years ago and even though it's pretty kitchey I don't hate it.

A teeny-tiny Nativity set my mom sent me for my only Christmas during my mission.

This is probably my favorite decoration. Too bad it doesn't fit in the windowsill anymore because of the new windows, but it still shines prettily on my kitchen table.

The wrapping station - been a busy place in the last week!

I have spent more money than I like to think about on gifts for people I love... and I admit, some for me, too. Santa will be good to me this year! My credit card statements won't thank me next month, though. Oh well. 'Tis but once a year, and it's fun to see all of those gifts under the tree until I give them all away!

Favorite Christmas Songs

As Buddy the Elf wisely said, "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear." With that in mind, here are some of my favorite movie-moment Christmas songs:

Elf "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"

Holiday Inn "White Christmas"

Wil Vinton's Claymation Christmas Special "Carol of the Bells"

Meet Me in Saint Louis "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"

A Muppet Christmas Carol "It Feels Like Christmas"

This is Me at Work

It's funny 'cause it's true!

The Lights at Temple Square

For FHE last week, my ward went to downtown Salt Lake and saw the lights at Temple Square. I love the lights at Temple Square! I think my favorites are the red and orange ones on the big, big trees around the temple itself. It is so impressive the way they coordinate all of the trees, and that they wrap the lights around practically every twig. I can't imagine how long it takes to plan and put up.

I especially love the nativity on the reflecting pool surrounded by floating lights, and the nativity by the Tabernacle where they have a narrator telling the nativity story and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing Christmas songs. I even joined in during "The First Noel." Not loud enough to bother anyone, but I still sang. It's just so cool to have baby Jesus in the nativity right across from the north Visitors Center, where you can see the Christus statue in the window. It's a reminder of the birth and death of the Savior, and that He was born so that He could die for us. That is what I really want to celebrate during Christmastime!

We met in a room in the basement of the south Visitor's Center and watched a special showing of Mr. Kruger's Christmas. Yes, it made me emotional. The movie is cheesy as all get-out, but it's still touching at the end. I was distracted about halfway through when I realized the little girl's mom is none other than Tamara Adams, who performs in and directs at HCT all the time. Crazy! Then our group hung out and drank hot chocolate until closing when the Sister missionaries kindly kicked us out of the Visitor's Center.

It was about 10 degrees that night so I was pretty bundled up. Silly me to forget a hat on such a night! Thankfully, my scarf was long enough to wrap around my head.

above: Erin, Jana, and me
below: Erin and me

Erin and I carpooled to Temple Square, and since we didn't know each other very well but were inclined to be friends we talked and learned more about each other. She is darling! It was very nice to have a buddy to share the experience with. Fun to meet up with established friends and meet new ones. It was a good event. I will miss my ward when I finally start going to a new one next month. It's been a good situation for me as I transitioned from my parents' house into my new home and living alone again. I liked going to church and events where I spend time with single people my own age. This particular group is outstanding. I will miss them.

Bear-y Christmas Presents

**WARNING FOR ADAM AND LINDSEY -- Do not look at the photos until after Christmas unless you want to spoil the surprise! I couldn't resist posting them, so if you look I'll have to blame myself.**

Mom and I took the G-unit to Build-a-Bear this week to help him pick out his first Christmas gifts for his little sisters. Since he doesn't have a lot of experience with girly things, he relied quite a bit on Grammy and Auntie Meg's advice... and by "advice" I mean Mom and I voting down his "guitar hero" and "Star Wars" selections in favor of something pink. Truth to be told, Mom and I probably enjoyed the shopping and selecting than he did, but the bears turned out really cute. They are very soft, and I hope that the girls like them.

Putting the bears together

The finished presents -- a blue bear and a pink one. I want one of my own now!

(Mom and I are wondering how soon after they open the bears Adam and Lindsey put the sunglasses on the twins. The glasses are probably just the right size for our tiny girls.)

For some reason, G didn't want his photo taken. I got a lot of photos like this:

Finally, in an attempt to get me to stop taking pictures, G took my camera case away from me. When he realized the camera wasn't in the case and he turned to demand it from me, I shot this photo:

I promised to stop taking photos after that, even though I very much wanted a picture of the two stuffed moose Mom stowed in his hood. You can kind of see one in the photo above.

It was just fun to watch G-unit be a boy and play, be excited about the Darth Vader bear outfit, eat a cinnamon pretzel, engineer fancy straws with which to drink his hot chocolate, and convince his Grammy to take him back to her house to play instead of taking him directly home afterward. What a great kid he is! I'm a lucky, lucky Aunt.

I sure do love that kid and my mom. They are a darling duo! I am glad they invited me on their trip!

New Windows! New! New! New!

After a year and a half of talking about it, I finally, finally have my new windows! The workers came and installed them yesterday morning and they are B-E-A-utiful! No more broken -- or missing -- screens, no more difficult to open bedroom window, and I can already hear that the heater isn't working as hard. Awesome!!

And, because I'm me, and I'm proud of my little home, and I am thrilled to actually have these windows (in time to qualify for the tax rebate, I might add), I took a bunch of photos. I asked the workers if I could photograph them and they said it was okay, but I felt weird about it, so I didn't. They were very nice about it, though, and very photographable, and they did a terrific job!

Below is the old sliding glass door. Notice the broken screen

The same door, completely gutted

The new "sliding" sliding door waiting for installation

Look how pretty and clean!

No more broken screen!

In the spare bedroom

In the master bedroom

In the kitchen

I worked from home yesterday, and this is what I looked like. Did I mention that it was about 36 degrees outside and the windows were torn out for a portion of the day? Notice I'm wearing a coat and gloves. (Never fear, the condo warmed up as soon as all of the windows were in and I turned the heater back on.)

The only drawbacks are so minor I can't really call them drawbacks. The new, wider, double-paned windows don't leave any room on the ledge in my kitchen for one of my favorite Christmas decorations. It's sitting on the table now and is cute there, but it's not the same. Also, the workers had to remove the settings for my shutters and now the holes are covered with the windows (because, again and wonderfully, the windows are so wide) so until I have a chance to reinstall the settings I have no shutters. It's weird having the sun shining through my bedroom window in the morning. Not bad, only weird.

Yaaaay! One more remodeling project down, and I'm happy to put off the next until the Spring. Need to save up some more money, and I just want to enjoy the winter.

Thanks to everyone at Wasatch Windows and Vinyl who assisted me with the whole process. After I asked if I could take his photo, one of the men who installed the window asked me the name of my blog. So, if you're reading this: thanks for all of your help! You were great and I am very, very happy with the result!

Watch this Show!

Okay, I'm not going to pretend I don't watch a lot of t.v. I mention it a lot, and I post a few too many videos on this blog. But... hmm... what was the "but?" *Shrug* Maybe there wasn't one.

Oh yeah! BUT as much as I talk about t.v. and movies, I don't usually say "You should be watching this show."

That is what I am saying today.

I am convinced that everyone needs to give Phineas and Ferb a try. Yes, it's a Disney channel show, and yes, it's a cartoon. I'll admit, a lot of Disney's live-action shows feature some bad, bad dialogue and over-acting, but for some reason their cartoons targeted to pre-teens and teenagers are quite brilliant. Such as Kim Possible (still one of my all-time favorites), and Phineas and Ferb.

IMDB says "According to creator Dan Povenmire, Phineas and Ferb's humor style is sort of a hybrid between Family Guy and Spongebob Squarepants, two shows that he had worked on." I realize that may not exactly be an enticement for some of you (such a description normally would not recommend the show to me). However, my nephew is a fan, and so my family starting watching it with him. My ENTIRE family, even those who aren't fans of cartoons on principle. It's just funny! It's clever! We love the kids inventions, the older sister's crush on her neighbor, the undercover platypus, and pretty much anything that has to do with Dr. Doofenshmirtz, the arch-enemy of Perry the Platypus.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz is hilarious! He has an entire song in the Christmas special about how he's apathetic about Christmas so he feels no need to put his diabolical plan into motion... until some Christmas carolers push him too far. Then he pushes the button while uttering the line, "So long Christmas! You are Feliz Navi-dead to me!"

Did I mention that the show is family-friendly? Was that implied in that it's on the Disney Channel?

This show, like Kim Possible, makes me lament that for some reason Disney doesn't put its t.v. shows on DVD. What's the hold up? They could make a fortune with the box sets. If they're afraid kids will stop watching the ever-present re-runs I'm sure they're mistaken. I own several seasons of Friends, but I still watch it when it comes on t.v.

I also love that there is an original song in each episode that somehow fits into the storyline. They are great! As an intro to this show that -- again -- I recommend to give a chance, here are a bunch of my favorite songs. Yes, four is a little much, but they are short and I couldn't pick just one!

Come Back, Perry

Evil Love Song

Squirrels in my Pants

Beach Party Song

If You Can't Say Somethin' Nice

Someone else awesome said, "Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!"

Which method of dealing with crummy situations and jerky people do you subscribe to?

Meanwhile, this was my favorite quote from Better Off Ted last night:

[Portia diRossi says this completely deadpan and as one sentence after learning that Ted asked his daughter for information after promising not to.]
Oh my god. What a hypocrite. I feel like I don't know you. Fake outrage.
Moving on, what did you get out of her?

Ding Dong Wha--?

Lion, Tiger, and Bear

A friend pointed me to this article today. It gives me hope that anything is possible, even peace and friendship between very, very different beings.

Anything for a Carrot

Hunt and Peck

I just burned my left hand with some hot water I was using to make hot chocolate, so I'm typing this post exclusively using what my mom calls the hunt-and-peck (H&P) method.

It is very slow, but effective. I used this method for many years before taking my typing class in high school. I learned to type on an actual type writer and that was also a very slow process.

When I can type properly I usually go pretty fast. I keep thinking I should check my WPM (words per minute) but haven't gotten around to it. The last time I took a test was a good 7 years ago, and that time I started on the wrong keys initially, so it wasn't really accurate. I don't even remember what the score was.

The score using H&P would be horribly low.

And now my right hand and arm are sore, so I will continue icing my left and call it a night. Hopefully this won't keep me from being able to work tomorrow... I really, really need to get my work done!

(The hot chocolate was delicious, by the way.)

See you tomorrow!

Update from the next morning: The worst burn isn't too painful anymore, and I can type with two hands again! Hooray!

Readying the Family Calendar

A few years ago, my mother requested as her Christmas present that I put together a calendar with photos of our family. I've been repeating that gift every year since, using photos from the previous 12 months. It's usually a little stressful, so I'm always grateful for those family members who submit or make suggestions on photos they like. I complain, but really I love arranging the photos, seeing what people submit, and having the whole project come together in a satisfactory way.

My brother David requested for this year's calendar that I use a specific photograph of him, Peter, and Aaron when they visited Philadelphia. All three men look rather handsome in it, don't they?


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Can you tell at first glance that I had to edit out two girls who were in the original photo?

I generally don't put photos in the calendar that feature non-family members. But when David said he liked this one I thought, "Maybe this is a good time to try out my photo-editing skills and the software on my new computer." It still needs tweaking, but I'm pretty proud of the result. (Now that you study the edited photo, you can see the flaws, can't you? I'm still trying to decide if I want to try to fix the skyline a little. The sky itself needs some work, since it's two different colors -- grrr!)

Fortunately, I haven't had to edit many of the other photos. The calendar's almost ready for the printer.

2010 is coming up fast!

Savior of the World

I hadn't seen the play Savior of the World in at least five years, so I was very excited to be invited to the play on Saturday afternoon. It was the special performance they put on specifically for deaf and blind patrons; there were monitors with closed captioning and sign language interpreters.

I forgot how much I love this play. I listen to the soundtrack quite often. The first act explores the events leading up to Jesus Christ's birth, starting with the angel Gabriel's visit to John the Baptist's dad and ending with the shepherds visiting the newborn Savior. The second act skips over the Savior's entire life, and begins with the apostles and women mourning His death. It then talks about all of the people who saw and spoke with him after He rose from the dead, and the concept that He will return again. It's really cool.

My favorite song is the one the shepherds sing to Psalm 23 (the one that starts "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want). As soon as the actors started to sing that song, I started to cry... and I continued to cry through the rest of the first act. I love the shepherds! What a great blessing to be the first to know of the Savior's birth -- to hear the angels sing, and meet the infant Savior and His parents, and deliver the news to everyone that He had been born! I love the way that scene is written, and I love thinking that I might have been one of the angels who sang in that choir when Christ was born. I might not have been... but I might have!

I was struck again as I have been before watching this play that the Jews (as I understand it) were waiting for the Messiah to come and deliver them from bondage. They wanted the Savior to use His power to drive the oppressive Romans out of Jerusalem and free the Jews. They felt that salvation was very do-able and as long as they followed all of the rules they would qualify for all of the blessings. By waiting for this Deliverer to come out of the sky and perform these big, flashy miracles, they totally missed the humble baby, little boy, and then grown man who walked about healing the sick and teaching peace and forgiveness. They couldn't understand that the faith His followers displays was such a big part of His miracles. He wanted to save their souls more than getting rid of their oppressors. Teach them to control what they can and not worry about what they can't.*

Are we much different than the ancient Jews?

I mean, how often do we (or at least I) ignore the wonderful little miracles He gives me each day and complain that the big blessings I am praying and working for just aren't coming soon enough or in a form that I recognize. He will tell us and show us what to do, but we have to take care of ourselves as much as we can and let Him do the rest. After all, I appreciate things I've worked for much more than those that are handed to me. But at the same time, I'm impatient! I want my big blessings now and I want them the way I want them!

(How's that for vague?)

At least the Jews were consistent about following all of the traditions and rules. I still struggle to read the scriptures every day and get my visiting teaching done! I could learn a lot from them.

As I watched the second act of the play, I really thought I was going to make it without crying. And then, during the last song "Jesus Once of Humble Birth" the cast turned to the audience, and started signing the words as they sang. I bawled. It was amazing! It was a reminder that Jesus will help all of us no matter our situation. I talked to one of the cast members later, and they said they'd learned the sign language just for that one performance. I am so glad that I got to experience that performance! And I am grateful for the reminder that I'm not alone in my trials. The Savior is aware of me and doing what He needs to help me do what I need to do and become who I am supposed to be.

I thought of that as I slid and spun on the street behind the Conference Center thirty minutes after the play ended. It was a pretty big miracle that I didn't hit anyone and neither I nor my car were harmed at all physically. It was a huge reminder that even though I'm a grown up and I have to do a lot of things alone, there are many things I cannot control. I need to have more faith in more aspects of my life and let Him take care of me, because I know that He will.

*I apologize sincerely if I have offended any Jewish readers. That was definitely not my intent. Just trying to apply my very limited knowledge about the ancient culture to my modern life :)

A Miracle I'm Still Reeling Over

This afternoon I saw the Savior of the World play at the LDS Conference Center. I parked on Main Street right up next to 200 North -- right next to the center. Pretty sweet parking spot right? Well... it would have been, if not for the snow and freezing weather we had that day. By the time the play ended, there was a LOT of ice on the road. And to get away from the parking spot I had to go down a reasonably steep hill.

Do you see where this is going?

I slowly started to make my way down 200 North (the street right behind the Conference Center). I drove maybe 15 feet down the street before I started to slide... and spin... incredibly slowly toward a car on the right side of the road. I very, very narrowly missed that car. But then as I continued to spin and slide I moved toward a car on the other side of the road. I very, very narrowly missed that car, too. It was horrifying. My heart was racing and I felt completely helpless. There was nothing I could do but pray! I had this horrible vision of my car hitting another on either side of the road and all of them sliding to the bottom and halfway down the next block, creaming everything in their path, destroying my car, and slamming my insurance rates.

By some miracle, even though I spun and slid down two-thirds of that block, I didn't hit a single car on either side of the road, and I stopped before I could hit the one trying to get up the street from the bottom.

Thoroughly shaken, I drove south really slowly on 200 West. I really, really didn't want to slide again. I was so afraid of hitting something! I was terrified of traffic lights and having to stop at them. That fear intensified when I stopped at one, and the woman in the lane next to me started sliding toward me. Sliding really, really, really slowly. So slowly that the only reason I know she hit me was that I started moving to the right with the back of my car sliding faster than the front. Fortunately, there weren't any cars on the right side of me, so I didn't slide into anyone else.

If my heart had been racing before, it was sprinting at that point.

I looked at the woman in the other car. She was in her 70s and looked as shell-shocked as I. I mouthed the words "Are you okay?" She nodded in a freaked-out kind of way. I looked at her car and it looked a little beat up but not bad. She mouthed back "Are you okay?" I nodded, too, and then kept driving. I was in a hurry to get to another play, and since she had hit me I didn't think the hit-and-run rules applied... at least, I hope they don't.

Another miracle? When I checked my car it didn't have a scratch on it.

When I went to bed that night, I could still feel myself sliding and spinning down 200 North. I love the snow and I love winter in Utah, but I would not be opposed to going the rest of my life without ever feeling that hideous helplessness again. I'm sure it won't be the last time I ever feel that way. I am just so grateful that my prayers to come through that horrible sliding were answered. I almost can't believe that I came through unscathed. I know that Heavenly Father was looking out for me. It really was amazing.

My New Moon Song

I am a little embarrassed to admit this is yet another in what I imagine are thousands of blog posts dedicated to the Twilight book and/or movie series. What can I say? They are popular for a reason and I am a follower in many ways.

I'll tell you from the start, I am squarely on the side of Team Jacob. I read all of the books and I was very satisfied with the way the romantic triangle ended because everyone was happy, but pretty much the entire series I thought, "Seriously? Who would choose the grumpy vampire over the fun-loving werewolf?" Jacob is playful, funny, active, works with his hands, loyal, happy, and good-looking. I liked the book New Moon mostly because Edward wasn't in it most of the time. I was actually annoyed when he showed up again.

Now, I hope that my Team Edward friends are still my friends. I understand the appeal of Edward. I promise I do. He's handsome, protective, sensitive, thoughtful, intellectual, well-dressed, loves music, and lives only to serve his lady-love. That's very attractive.

Can't we all just agree that everyone isn't looking for the exact same things -- or combination of things -- in their ideal guy?

I finally got to see the movie New Moon last night and I liked it, mostly for the reasons stated above. Goooooooooooo Jacob (shouted in a cheerleader-type way)! Taylor Lautner is so charismatic. So sweet. So fun. So beautiful. Robert Pattinson is a terrific Edward -- he is very true to the character from the book and I really, really wanted to root for him and Bella -- but just like when I read the book I was kind of annoyed when he showed up again (mostly because of his scrawny, pale, glittering chest). Hold him up next to Taylor and in my head it's no contest.

This is why Bella is the one caught in the love triangle. If it were me, there would be no question. But there's no question for her and it's all Edward. So, good for her.

I do take exception with Bella selfishly begging Jacob to be her friend even though she knows he loves her and she doesn't love him. Personally, I think that's just mean. I know what it's like to have to tell a friend repeatedly that I don't love him and it's never going to happen. It is probably the worst thing I've ever had to do. He was really mad when I told him we couldn't be friends anymore because I couldn't live my life being afraid he'd never get over me. But I had to do it. As long as I allowed him to hope neither of us could move on. He deserved to find someone who wants to love him, and I deserved not to feel like a terrible person anymore. I just regret it took me as long as it did to finally break off the friendship. But apparently Bella has no problem stringing a guy along.

But I digress. The movie felt very, very long, but I liked it anyway! I saw it again tonight (don't judge me, I missed the first few minutes of the movie the first time) and may need to see it again in a couple of weeks. I haven't read the books in a year so I'd forgotten many of the details. It's nice to see a movie and be surprised by wonderful tidbits. I'd forgotten how funny Jessica is, and how sweet Bella's dad (who is perfectly cast in the move, by the way) is.

Perfect movie? No. Am I happy? Yes.

Meanwhile, just for fun I decided to write a song based on the movie, mostly because whenever I see the posters for New Moon, the music for the song "Blue Moon" runs through my head.

My New Moon Song:
Sung to the tune of "Blue Moon" by Lorenz Hart and Richard Rodgers

New moooon!
We saw her standing alone
Without a dream in her heart;
Without a love of her own.

New moooon!
She didn't know what she was there for.
Audience saying a prayer for
The one she really did care for.

And then suddenly
There appeared
Before her
A muscled werewolf
whose arms she wouldn't hold.
He said "Come, buddy"
Please adore me!
Her love for Edward
Kept her from being bold.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

New mooooon!
Now she's no longer alone
Staves off the dream in her heart
But she won't call Jake her own.

*Scatting*

And then suddenly
Italy was there
Before her.
Saw Edward glitter
And her blood ran cold.
The other vampires
Wanted to destroy her,
But goodness won
And the heros flew back home!

New mooooon!
Now she's no longer alone
With future dreams in her heart
With a sweet love of her own.

*scatting*

Ding-a-dong-dang!
New mooooon!

Pretty bad, eh? Oh well. I'll try harder next time!

I Need a Little Christmas

I saw A Christmas Carol at HCT last night, and it was excellent. Every year I think I'd probably be okay skipping the play, and every year I go and am delighted by the humor and the uplifting music and most importantly the message.

And last night I was shamed by that message. Because I had to face what has been lurking in the periphery of my mind the last couple of weeks:

This year, I'm a Scrooge.

I'm just not feeling Christmas Spirit this year. Whenever I think about Christmas I realize how little time I have left to finish my work. And then I start thinking about some of the rumors going around about the company and stressing that I won't even have a job next year. And what would I do if I lost my job? And then I want to lie down on the floor and eat a whole pan of homemade peanut butter cups. Mmmm...peanut butter cups... Except I don't feel well enough to enjoy chocolaty treats which really makes me want to feel sorry for myself.

Help!

It's sad to me that Ebenezer Scrooge is remembered as a miser and a grump, because the main message in A Christmas Carol is one of redemption. Scrooge chooses to change before it's too late. He realizes how sad and lonely a selfish life is. He learns that treating the people around him well and sharing his talents and resources would make him far happier than he could have ever imagined. He ends his days as a philanthropist who spreads joy to all he meets.

I know he's a literary character, but if Scrooge can find the Christmas spirit, it's not too late for me either.

Christmas is coming! Be of good cheer!

Hmm...feeling a little forced. All right. Let's break the process of getting into the Christmas spirit into steps. Goals to keep me from becoming a hopeless, joyless "old" Scrooge:
1. I will pray every morning for opportunities to serve.
2. I will pray for the spirit and count my blessings whenever I start to feel overwhelmed and unhappy.
3. I will to listen to Christmas music as I drive to work every day.
4. I will always have a dollar in my pocket to give to every charity bell-ringer I pass. (I did this a few years ago and loved it - felt so good to share my hard-earned money with those who need it!)
5. I will put Christmas lights on my balcony by Saturday.
6. I will buy a Christmas tree next week. (I have not yet decided if it will be live or plastic...)
7. I will buy a gingerbread house starter kit to put together on Sunday.
8. I will watch the Muppet Christmas Carol within the next two weeks. It's my favorite Christmas movie!

Still twenty-three days left to Christmas Eve; it's worth a shot! My Christmas can be saved!

If I Weren't So Blonde

I could totally be in West Side Story and dance like this:

It looks so fun!

Starting Over Again

I was so nervous at my rehearsal tonight! The first rehearsal for a show I don't know well at a theatre where I haven't performed in 5 years. Ack! Fortunately, I know a few people in the cast and others are friendly. I have not met my double yet, but hopefully she comes to the next rehearsal and is easy to work with :) We started to learn a few of the songs and I get to sing second Alto. Oh, and I was measured for my costumes. I always love the music and costumes!

Always exciting to start with a new show. I can never guess what will happen during the next 10 weeks of rehearsal and 4 of performances. It may be just another show... it may change my whole life....

Whatever happens, it's going to be a lot of hard work and a lot of fun!

Thanksgiving Weekend Highlights

1. Baking pies with my mom.

2. Watching the Dancing with the Stars finale with my parents, Aaron, and Jordyn. Of the final three stars, I am glad Donny won!

3. Having Aaron and Peter in town.

4. Pie Night, of course! Getting to see the Wadsworths, Michelle, Laren and her friends. Varieties of pie included pecan, cherry, apple, razzleberry, strawberry-rhubarb, banana cream, coconut cream, peanut butter, key lime, and chocolate ice cream.

5. Everyone helping my mom get Thanksgiving dinner ready.

6. Thanksgiving dinner with the Cravens.

7. Playing Boondah/Scum.

8. A short nap.

9. The Fantastic Mr. Fox. "Are you cussing with me?"

10. Homemade turkey soup.

11. Professional family photo taken by a handsome british guy more than willing to act silly if it will make the babies laugh.

12. Lunch at Wingers.

13. Six or more helpings of leftover pie.

14. Playing Guitar Hero for the first time.

15. Bowling with the siblings and getting a spare and a strike!

16. Getting some work done over the holiday weekend (not exactly a highlight, but it's nice to have less to do on Monday morning...)

17. Friends at all of the final three performances of Sleeping Beauty.

18. Lunch at Five Star Restaurant and the boys dressed as nerds.

19. Kudos from the director, artistic director, and producer.

20. Cast party watching the Disney version of our play.

I really enjoyed my holiday weekend. I feel blessed that the busy holiday was punctuated by quiet moments and a lot of laughter. My family and friends really are the best. I hope everyone else enjoyed Thanksgiving as much as I did!

Sick Again

When I was sick as a little girl, my mom would bring me my favorite Campbell's soup with buttered toast and milk on a tray so I could eat it in bed. She'd then drag the little t.v. into my room and set it on a chair so I could watch in between naps. She rinsed out the garbage can, washed my sheets, and brought ice wrapped in a wet wash cloth. My mom too such good care of me!

I miss that. Now that I'm an adult I have to do it all myself. I know I really don't feel well the idea of making a much-wanted cup of tea in the microwave still isn't worth getting out of bed. Today was one of those days.

To be fair, I am sure if I asked my mom or my friends to take care of me they probably would. But then, they all have problems of their own.

I don't remember the last time I didn't feel sick somehow. I am so tired of going to the doctor.

In about 30 minutes I'm going back to bed, so that I can get up at 6am, be at work by 8, and finish up a project by 9:30. Then I'll work the rest of the day and go to the first Kiss Me Kate rehearsal at 7. I am excited about my rehearsal! It will be my reward for surviving the rest of the day.

Being an adult is hard.

I just wish I felt better.

Giving Thanks

I hope never to be one of those people who only expresses gratitude and appreciation on special days. If my family members and friends don't already know how much they mean to me then I need to be better. I need to tell them how I feel and not be embarrassed!

Today, I resolve to tell the people I love that I love them. I'm not going to wait for the "right" time. Every day is the right time. I will say Thank You for the little things, the big things, and everything else. I wouldn't be who I am without any of them.

I hope everyone had a happy, happy Thanksgiving Day. Mine was spent with family, which is the best way I can think of to celebrate any day. Getting the food ready, hanging out and laughing, playing card games, watching movies, playing with the nephew and holding the nieces. I can't imagine anything better!

Pie-Kus

In honor of Pie Night tonight and Thanksgiving tomorrow, I want to post a couple of the winning Pie-Kus from a contest the Deseret News sponsored. Click this link of you want to read more. They're pretty cute! Maybe if they do the contest next year I'll enter something.

Oh, sweet pumpkin pie!
Would it really matter if
I became fatter?
— Erin Renouf Mylroie, St. George

Crisp crust, pattern cut,
Berries barely peeking through,
Picture perfect pie.
— Marlene Merkling, Syracuse

FRUSTRATION
Rolling out pie dough
Shaped like South America
Oops, must try again!
— Connie Sabir, Salt Lake City

I made a pie crust from scratch last night, so that last one definitely hits home!

Emotion-proof Vest

Last night, I ran into a friend from High School. I was doing some shopping at the mall and discovered that Jay is a police officer assigned there. It's weird to run into a cop/friend while carrying a Victoria's Secret bag... almost as weird as giving him a hug and realizing he's wearing a bullet-proof vest. I saw him a couple of years ago, so I knew he was a cop, but the bullet-proof vest threw me. I didn't say anything about it. We just talked about his wife and new daughter and the fact he has to work extra jobs to make ends meet and my job and upcoming vacations. Jay joked about how he is losing his hair and I joked about always being in a play.

Jay also joked about having a hollow tin chest. He was always a cynical, sarcastic (and yet nice -- it's possible) guy, but it made me sad that because of his job he has to reject empathy and compassion on a daily basis. He deals with the worst 5% of the population on a daily basis. If he cared and worried about each one of them and let the cruelty and selfishness affect him, he'd go crazy and be depressed all the time. I can't even imagine how hard that must be. I reassured him in my usual slighty-ditzy way that as a music lover he will never be completely dead inside. Jay loves his job, but I can only imagine the toll it must take on him.

And then there's me -- the actress and girly-girl who wears her emotions on her sleeve. I love compliments and thrive on affection and appreciation. I care deeply about the people I love and think about them all the time. I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing. I believe that it's cathartic and healthy to cry once in awhile. And I would never want to turn off all sympathy. To live with that kind of emotional/emotionless armor would leach too much of the joy out of my life. Thank goodness I don't work in psychology or law enforcement where I'd be forced to lock my emotions and personal opinions away.

What is the balance between self-preservation and empathy? How can I show love to someone who is in pain without letting that pain destroy me, too? I am still trying to figure that out. I'm still learning not to let other people's critiques and even good opinions be the basis of my self-esteem. Still learning which battles to fight and what to let go. I'm still learning that I don't have to be responsible for other people's feelings all the time; if I'm not a perfect friend every minute it will be okay. Learning to trust that Heavenly Father is over all and that if I take care of myself and do what extra He asks me too it will be enough.

I kept thinking I should thank Jay for working such an important job. I don't think I ever did. I wish I had. I am so glad that he works so hard and is so faithful at his job taking care of the rest of us. Grateful that he wears that bullet-proof and emotion-proof vest so that I don't have to.

Beeker's Ode to Joy

This cracks me up for so many reasons! You might want to watch it a couple of times to truly appreciate the details in each panel. My personal favorite is the smoking violin...

Movie Slump

I used to love going to the movies. It was my preferred way to unwind. I'd leave work early or on time and go directly to one of the three theatres within 5 minutes of the office and while away the hours. Once in awhile I'd even do a double feature. It was fun! Relaxing.

There have been some good movies out lately, but I'm not motivated to go very often. I guess I've been busy with other things but I miss going to the movies. It was fun. It is fun. I saw An Education on Saturday night and it was pretty good but I felt lame being at the Broadway by myself with my mini-pizza and my diet Coke and my small popcorn. (Mmmm... movie popcorn.) It was lonely. I am tired of going by myself, but I don't plan ahead and by the time I decide to go I feel like it's too late to ask anyone else. I feel sheepish asking someone to join me when the movie starts in 25 minutes!

So, for once I'm planning ahead: Is anyone interested in seeing New Moon with me? I haven't seen it yet and I want to. I'm free Saturday night and I want to see it with some girlfriends!

100 Things

I don't really plan to become an evil overlord, but just in case...

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord
(there are more at Peter's Web site)

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
89. After I capture the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.