My Book About Me

The last couple of weeks have been a little rough on me. The main reason is because I don't have a play to disappear into. I miss the social and creative outlet. Let's face it, it's hard work being myself and responsible all the time! Work, supervising remodel projects, and church activities take their toll. Luckily, I have friends to hang out with, and family to celebrate with. Plenty to do... but I miss doing a show. Whenever I get in my warm car I think of the year the A/C was out in the car and then I remember that was the year I did Oklahoma. And then I think about how much I love doing an outdoor show. Then I wish I were doing one, even though I know it's not a good idea right now.

I think one of the things I like about being in a play is that it focuses my energy. I spend the rehearsal period studying my character and getting to know her. By the time I start performing, I know that character, and I'm totally confident onstage because I don't have to worry about "what should I do here?" because it comes naturally.

Well, last Friday, I was talking to Wendi about missing doing a show, and she suggested that since I decided with my workload it would be masochistic to audition for one now, I should use this summer to study... myself!


I think it's a great idea. I realized that I don't always have confidence in myself if I'm in an unfamiliar situation. I generally like myself, but I worry all the time that others won't. In truth, I care too much about what others think. Is it because I don't know myself well enough to be proud of who I am? I've been spending so much time playing other characters, I don't really know myself that well without the context of a character. In a play I have a script and a director that I've been working with to prepare for the performance. During real life I can't rely on anyone else. I need to get to know me a little better so I'm prepared and confident and I don't feel like I'm completely improvising during every situation every day of my life! Improvving onstage scares me to death, and in real life it's not much better.

After I left work on Friday, I went to Target and bought a binder and some lined paper, and started making lists. Favorite foods, Talents, Favorite T.V. Shows, Places I Want to Visit, Things I Did as a Kid That I'd Like to Revisit. I think I need to buy a season pass to Hogle Zoo and start drawing my favorite animals, and I'd like to find my bench at the Gateway and do some more writing. This could be a complex character study, because I change from day to day, but I'm having fun! Anytime I start feeling sad about not being in a show, I add to one list or start another. It's a great distraction!

Is it egotistical to study myself? ...maybe, but I don't care. I need this. It's helping me to be happy.

Meanwhile, today at Institute I noticed that my toenail polish matches my new purple purse. I can't tell you how much that tickles me!

Dear Bruise on My Arm,

Where in the world did you come from? You arrived two weeks ago, as evidenced by a tender pain, and yet I don't remember whacking my arm into anything. You kind of look like a thumbprint, but I don't remember anyone grabbing my arm either. You quickly turned deep purple, and then settled into a lovely yellow-green. Now, you look like a random tan spot on the skin over my left femur. And yet, every time I see you I go "oh, yeah! Where did you come from?"

Also, where did your cousin, bruise-on-my-right-leg come from? I don't remember doing anything to warrant that either. Have I taken up sleep walking? This guy is quite a bit bigger and bluer than you, bruise-on-my-arm. How clueless do I have to be not to notice something jabbing the inside of my leg? Did I drop something? If it were the shin or outside of my leg I might not be so confused, but the inside? Weird.

Now you've been joined by painful-bruise-on-my-ankle. Since I almost started crying when I ran into the coffee table last night, I have no question where that came from. I hope I didn't scare you with all of the wordless screaming; the pain was amplified when I put the frozen strawberries on it. But at least I put it on the painful spot for a little while. The ankle is twice as big as normal, but it's not purple. I probably should have left the ice on longer, but the frozen strawberries thawed and are now a paste, and since it was midnight and I was supposed to be in bed I thought it a waste of time to freeze my medical ice pack (should I just leave it in the freezer? I don't need it that often...). Plus, I didn't want to use regular ice because I feared I'd fall asleep, accidently break the plastic baggie, and have water all over my bed. Thankfully, it only throbbed until I fell asleep, which didn't take too long...

Oh! Hello bruise-on-my-elbow! You arrived this morning shortly before bruise-on-my-scalp. Um, welcome? I'd say "nice to see you" but 1) I'm not that happy about you, and 2) you're both in places I can't actually see. I can feel you, though.

Bruise-on-my-arm, thanks for the visit. It's been educational and entertaining to watch as you grew, changed, and started to fade. Will you please take all of your relatives and go away quickly? It's swimsuit season and I loathe to explain that no, I haven't been beaten up, I'm just apparently really clumsy.

Thanks and many regards,

Miss Megan

p.s. Keys and cell phone, will you stop randomly jumping out of my fingers? Especially in public places? I'm a little tired of picking you up, so I'd appreciate it.

Fiction-o-holic

KUED ran a television miniseries during the last few weeks called Lost in Austen that I quite liked. It's about a young woman, Amanda Price, living in a suburb of modern-day London, who one day discovers Miss Elizabeth Bennett from Jane Austen's novel Pride and Prejudice in her bathroom. Elizabeth has found a door in her house at Longborn that leads directly into Amanda's house. They end up switching places, and much to Amanda's delight, she learns she has appeared at the beginning of the story. Unfortunately, since she's there and Elizabeth isn't, she ends up messing everything up while she's trying to direct the action. It was a really engaging story, and I was quite satisfied by the ending. And it posed a good question: what do you do when the main character is removed from the story and replaced with someone totally inappropriate?

The other day, I went out to lunch with some coworkers, and they asked what I am reading. Kate had loaned me Enchantment by Orson Scott Card and it's really good! It's about a young man, Ivan, who grows up in Russia during the Cold War, moves to America with his family, and then goes back to Russia to do research for his dissertation on the origin of fairy tales and their relation to life during the 10th Century, then becomes a key player in a fairy tale himself. I'm about halfway through, and it just gets better and better! I have no idea how it's going to end, and that's a rarity for someone who reads and watches as much television as I do. I can predict a lot of endings.

I think my standard of how "good" something is is how much it diverts from the outcome I'm expecting. I like to be surprised! It makes me feel a lot more engaged in the story and characters and appreciate them more.

As I discussed the book with my friends, I realized that Enchanted has similar elements to Lost in Austen. And though both are fantastical stories, I have no trouble accepting them.

Apparently, I'm not a skeptic when it comes to fiction.

For example, the television show LOST was pretty wacky this last season, with a huge plot dealing with time-travel. I thought it odd, but was happy to follow along, and it's even making sense to me. I have no problem with the time-travel element at all. They have some very specific rules... that the characters are trying to foil. But because of those rules I accept the oddness of the situation.

I think one of the reasons I didn't love the Star Trek movie at first is because it didn't follow LOST's rules of time-travel. But upon seeing it again I realize the Star Trek movie does establish and follow its own rules, which frees up that suspension of disbelief so I can just adore the movie and see it as many times as I want...which I no doubt will until Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince comes out and I have to see it multiple times...

So, I have surrounded myself with a lot of fiction. I can accept the crazy stuff, but often during my regular life -- like while driving -- I say "really?" all the time. Funny how real life surprises me and causes me to question, but I take fiction in stride. Probably because real life affects me personally. I'm not an outside observer, so I have to be active and can't expect all of the insight to just come to me. Plus, the choices I make affect other people, too, so I can't just do whatever I want willy-nilly. Happily ever after is not guaranteed in real life, unfortunately, no matter how hard you work on it. That doesn't mean there isn't plenty to enjoy though!

What is the point of this blog? I forget. I don't want to make it into a whole "life is like a novel" thing, or explore why I like reading or watching about fictional characters. I simply like to enjoy some quiet time in the midst of my own life adventures.

So, I'll end with a list and let you come to your own conclusions:

1) These are great stories and I am recommending them to you (Lost in Austen is available on DVD!)
2) I like rules,
3) I read and watch a lot of fiction,
4) I like stories with great characters that feel familiar and yet surprise me,
5) Mixing or reinventing well-known stories can be cool and interesting,
6) Reading about quiet times in a novel is boring, while quiet times when reading a novel is preferable,
and
7) Real life is probably stranger than fiction because I have to participate.

The End.

Darth Stewie -- Just Because He's Funny

I kind of want to perform this scene for something, somewhere. Of course, I would be the guy arguing with Stewie.

Man, I love this dialogue! And casting Adam West as Grand Moff Tarkin is brilliant!

The Sock Puppet Story

I have decided it's time to retire the sock puppet that has been living on the gear shift of my car for the last seven years:

(Please forgive the drawing. It didn't ever occur to me to take a photo of the sock puppet while it was still whole. Yes, I drew this today specifically for this post.)

This puppet came into my life on a blind date. While I was going to school at BYU, one of my roommates brought home a guy she had a crush on. This guy met me and thought it would be a great idea to set me up with his roommate. He then proceeded to invite me on a group date for that Saturday as his roommate's date... but didn't bother to invite my roommate as his own date. Therefore, I knew nobody there.

The date consisted of dinner (which I ended up making since the other couples and my date were all friends and just wanted to hang out and play games), and then each couple was given a pair of socks. My date and I shared a bright orange pair. We all sat down at a table laden with yarn, buttons, felt, glue, needles and threads, etc, and proceeded to make ourselves a custom sock puppet. I was the only one to give mine teeth -- the other crafters were very impressed.

At one point, one of the boys asked what we were all thinking: "What am I going to do with this thing?" Someone else responded, "Well, you could put it on your golf clubs, or your gear shift, or something." Thus, my sock puppet was born, and his home became the gear shift of the Ruby Red Pamplemousse.

I must say, that sock puppet has been the catalyst for many a conversation. Pretty much anyone who has had occasion to ride or even look inside my car -- including Jiffy Lube guys, friends, dates, family, everyone -- has noticed it and wondered why in the world I had a sock puppet sitting on the gear shift. It made for an entertaining conversation piece, and I smiled every time I saw it. Plus, there was the added bonus that it kept the black leather gear shift from burning my hand during those hot summer months. I tried to name it a couple of times, but could never remember the name. Harold? Horace? Howard? Something like that.

After a while, I realized it would probably be a good idea to wash the sock. Problem was, if I did that, the whole thing would fall apart. To preempt any unravelling, I went ahead and cut the face off. Then I sewed the remaining portion of sock together, washed it, and put it back on the gear shift. It's sat there ever since. Sadly, I have no idea what happened to the face. It was looking pretty pathetic by the end, with the mustache coming unstitched, the button eyes falling apart, and the nose missing, but I could have at least given it a decent burial.

It's amazing to me when I look at the underside of the sock to see the bright orange-yellow color, because it has faded so much in the last seven years. The top of the sock is now also threadbare. So, I retired it. It's been good to me and I'm grateful, but it's time to move on. My mother gave me a pair of brown socks that no one in the family has claimed, and now I have one sock for the gear shift, and one I can put on my hand to save it from the hot steering wheel if necessary.

It's the end of an era. Thank you, sock puppet, for taking such good care of my hands and my car. It's been fun!

I Want

1. double-paned windows for my condo
2. a washer and dryer
3. a new computer
4. to go on vacation for my birthday
5. a new digital camera
6. a new cell phone
7. to make an extra mortgage payment or two
8. can lights in the livey-kitchy-diney room
9. seasons tickets for Broadway Across America AND Hale Centre Theatre next year
10. to somehow get all of the negatives from my growing-up photos onto CDs (without having to reprint the photos, if possible)
11. LOST season 5 on DVD
12. to finish stocking my food storage
13. to get my black boots and white corduroys mended

I want them...but can I afford them? That's the dream!

The Best Thing for Being Sad

"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.”
--T. H. White, The Sword in the Stone*

*Thanks, Gina, for posting this on your blog. I needed it today!



I love this song, Requiem Aeternam by John Rutter. The change at 1:20 gives me chills, and my whole body just relaxes as I listen to the rest. I could listen to this song over and over. It is so hopeful and peaceful! (The music is anyway. It's possible the words are sad, but I've never looked up the translation.)

A Subtle Change

I decided to do something wacky, and dyed my hair RED Tuesday night. I LOVE it! I've been wanting to dye it red for a LONG time! Every time I look at myself in the mirror and look down at the curls that sit on my shoulders I feel gleeful! It's only semi-permanent because I'm terrified permanent dye will keep me from ever being a natural blonde again, but it's definitely different!

Apparently I did a really good job, because only one person has noticed the change. Either that, or they aren't actually looking at me, or they don't want to say anything because it's so subtle they just think they're going crazy... Even my brother and sister-in-law didn't comment on it last night! Thank goodness for Emily A. She probably only saw the change because I'd told her earlier in the week that I was thinking about dying it, but I very much appreciated her acknowledgement! While I like that apparently strawberry-blonde hair looks natural on me, half the fun of changing hair is the reaction from other people! Oh well. I did it for me, and I feel pretty!

Here are some photos:

Before:

After:

Oh, man! My hair totally looks the same in both photos! I'll have to take some in the sun. I promise there's a difference!

Note: Sorry that my eyes in photos I take of myself make me look like a satanic deer-in-the-headlights. It's probably the crazy flash. Or maybe that's just what I look like...

Slowest. Week. Ever.

What is today? Wednesday?

Really?

It's not Thursday or Friday yet?

Aren't weeks only supposed to go slowly if you have big plans for the weekend or something? 'Course, I do get to see one of my favorite people on Saturday; it's been a really long time since we hung out last, Laren! (Promise me you won't let me buy myself any shoes while we're out. Unless we find some good black flats.)

It's really only Wednesday? Wednesday morning even?

I swear last weekend was two weeks ago.

That is so weird.

At least I survived Tuesday. That's typically my least favorite day of the week. It would be way worse if today were only Tuesday.

Today is only Wednesday. And it's still morningtime.

Guess I'll get back to work then.

Sigh...

The Picard Rap

My best friend and I were introduced to this video last weekend. In spite of her severe lack of knowledge of anything Star Trek , she laughed as hard as I did, which leads me to believe everyone might enjoy it.

Meanwhile, I can pinpoint the title of episode of about 60-75% of the clips.

Happy Monday!

Love, Miss Megan

p.s. There is a very good chance the rap will get stuck in your head. You have been warned.

Nieces News, a Graduation, Soccer, and the Star Trek Movie

I decided to write one really long post rather than divide it into four posts and risk anyone missing out on something they're interested in ('cause honestly, I have no idea what you all care to know, and what you don't). Feel free to read or skip sections according to your whims!

Baby Update: Summer and Zoe are doing really well! Lindsey was released from the hospital on Thursday, so now she is juggling time with G-unit and time at the hospital. The nurses have a strict schedule for the twins and a bunch of rules. They recommend Lindsey and Adam spend at least an hour a day holding their daughters (not sure if they both need to hold both babies). Both girls lost 10% percent of their body weight pretty quickly -- which meant that Zoe dropped below 3 pounds -- but are thankfully starting to gain again. Summer's lungs are strong enough that she was taken off forced air this morning and is now breathing room air on her own! Both girls are learning to eat from a bottle (their sucking reflex was delayed because they were born so early). I haven't seen the twins since their birth day so I have not been able to confirm Adam's belief that Summer looks like me... but I'm delighted with the idea! No word yet on how soon the twins will be independent enough to come home and flourish under the care of their darling, devoted mother, or when their big brother will get to meet them. Lindsey's mother, Sandy, is in town to help out in any way she can.

Lindsey apologized that she hasn't updated Facebook or sent out announcements yet. The hospital has a Web site where parents of premies still in the hospital can post status updates and photos, and she plans to recruit her brother to get it started in the near future. Meanwhile, I'll continue to make updates, too, and post photos when I get some!

Here is the one photo from last Sunday that I feel comfortable posting -- Adam standing in front of Zoe's isolette and all of the machines she's hooked up to. Summer has her own set of machines watching over her...

Work Schmerk: Thursday one of my co-workers asked for some help updating the page numbers on a file she was working on. This sort of question always makes me nervous. I know I know how to do my job, but I feel like I've said "I don't know" a lot lately. Sometimes if I have no idea I'll say "What if..." hoping to come up with an idea by the time I finish the phrase. It's worked once or twice! This time, I started by asking what the co-worker had been doing. Then I suggested the only other option I know of, which luckily worked! Hooray! Instant professional self-esteem. I needed it, especially as I begin to feel more and more overwhelmed with the upcoming release. More and more, not doing a play has proven to be a smart move...

David's Graduation: Yesterday, my youngest brother, David, graduated from the University of Utah with a Bachelors degree in Civil Engineering. David worked hard not only finished all the Engineering requirements but spent a year taking Art major classes. Total, he completed about 180 credits! I find that amazing -- I am so proud of him! I missed the university-wide ceremony, but attended the college commencement with Dad, Mom, and Peter. It was fun to see David looking so distinguished and gorgeous in his tie, cap and gown; I don't get to see him dressed up very often. Adam, Lindsey, and G-unit joined us for dinner at Mazzo (middle eastern food) and I very much enjoyed my chicken and cauliflower tabseh. It was a good day for my beaming parents. They put five kids through their Bachelors and the rest is up to us. It was nice to celebrate David's accomplishment with so many of my family!

Congratulations, Dave! I am proud of you!

G's Soccer Game: The G-unit is playing soccer this spring and I finally made it to a game this morning! G's team is called The Dark Knights, and they wear all black. Those little kids are awesome running around that field! Adam seems to be doing a great job as the coach. The team members don't really get the nuances of the game, but they all like to crowd around and kick the ball. G stood as a goalie for a minute or two, but it seemed his favorite part was being offsides. He had a lot of enthusiasm playing that first half, but he droopped during the second... at least, he droopped until he got to come hang out with his Grammy, and uncles Russell and Peter who ran drills with him with an extra soccer ball. It was pretty entertaining. The G-unit had quite the cheering section, including my dad, Lindsey, Lindsey's mom Sandy, and Peter's girlfriend Jordyn. I was glad I made it. It was a nice morning to sit in the sun and I love the company!


The Star Trek Movie: I've seen it twice! Last night I went with some friends from my ward, and today I saw it with Adam, Lindsey, Sandy, Russell, and Angela. I think the actors were brilliantly cast, did their homework, and were fantastic in each of the roles. I love the costumes, the special effects were awesome, and I thought the nods to fans were appropriate and tasteful, though I can see why non-Trekkies would be confused when Trekkies would laugh at seemingly random moments. All that said... I didn't love it. I'm not sure why. I liked it a lot. I'll probably see it again next weekend and maybe even buy it when the movie comes to DVD. It was a good movie. But I felt a little unsatisfied with something, perhaps because it conflicted with my limited knowledge of the science behind some of the fiction. My favorite Trek films remain First Contact and The Undiscovered Country. Still, it was genuinely funny and well-thought out, and I got emotional at a couple of moments. It was a lovely prequel, and I'd recommend it to anyone who is looking for a good, fun, action flick!

My IMDB Profile: Last week I was up something like 536 percent. This week, I'm down 45%. My fans are fickle! What I really want to know is whether I'm 45% down from 0, or if I'm 45% down from 536%, because that's still 119% popularity. And if it’s the latter, how in the world do I ever know – forget it. My brain is starting to hurt. (Don't worry, I'm not deluded into thinking being on IMDB means I'm famous. I just find the popularity percentage interesting!)


C'est tout!

Happy Birthday, Baby Girls!

My nieces were born today -- 10 weeks early!

That's right, ten weeks early. How scary is that? The water broke for one of the babies this morning, so Adam and Lindsey went to the hospital and Gunner spent the afternoon with his unckie Pete and grandparents. We waited on pins and needles until Adam called to tell us around that the c-section was successful, and we had two beautiful baby girls to welcome to the family!

Adam came to my mom's house and told us about the delivery and gave us the stats on the girls: Summer Elizabeth and Zoe Cassandra (pronounced ZOH-ee; I hope they forgive me if I've spelled her name wrong). They are both smaller than 4 pounds and so tiny, though they looked bigger than I had expected.

Even though Visiting Hours were technically over, we were allowed to see Lindsey and the twins at the hospital about 8pm. Lindsey was doing well and looked great, if a little tired. We were allowed to see the babies in their incubators. They are hooked up to all kinds of machines and we had to scrub our hands and arms to the elbows for three minutes before we could go in. They seem pretty strong! They both had breathing tubes in their noses, so we couldn't get a great sense of what they look like, but we can tell Summer seems to have lighter hair than Zoe does. Summer was born first and is a little bigger, too. They are perfect, though! Ten fingers, ten toes, one head each. Gunner was really upset when Adam told him he was too young to be allowed in the infant ICU. When he started to cry, Lindsey cried too, and said he could stay with her. She hadn't seen the babies yet, either. I hope she gets to later tonight; the doctors seemed to want her to recover a little before making the trek two flights.

I had received a text message earlier this afternoon telling me another friend had her baby this morning! I didn't know if she was at the same hospital, but while I was there I checked at the front desk anyway -- she was! I surprised her and her husband at nearly 9pm, but they were very gracious and proud to show off their own baby girl. They even let me hold her! Yaaaaay! She is such a beautiful baby. I am very excited for their happy little family!

The world has truely been blessed today. I can't wait until Summer and Zoe are big enough and healthy enough for me to hold them. Of course, their being born so early kind of kills the baby shower I'd had planned for this Saturday, but even if I have to reschedule, maybe we can throw a party for them anyway. What better reason to celebrate?

Fun with Words

Today's post is brought to you by the letter "Q".

Words I like the sound of:
delicious
low
evil
blissfully
precisely
pecan (pronounced pee-CAN)
weather
fancy
necessary
ginormous (a hybrid of "gigantic" and "enormous")
variable
freakishly
cheeky
affectation
superfluous


Words I think are weird in pretty much every way:
fiancé (not to be confused with finance)
lotion
queue
victuals (pronounced "vittles" -- what's up with that?)

A word I just don't like but say anyway 'cause I can't think of an alternative: appropriate

Words I know how to spell but somehow manage to spell incorrectly almost every time I type them:
receive ("i" before "e" words get me every time after "c")
use/using (ends up as "user/usering"; old habits die hard)
from (comes out "form")
thorough (too many variations)
two ("tow")
privilege ("priveledge")

Words and phrases I've used a lot recently:
Seriously?! (mostly while driving)
What the what?
Holy bananas!
Holy granola!
Done and done!
Absomalutely! (thank you, Ned Flanders)
That's hilarious!

I just think words are interesting. I am fascinated to see how people use language to express themselves, and to notice how my choice of words differs based on my method of communication. For example, my journal is a lot more formal than my blog, and none of my writing sounds the way I speak with my friends, which is also different than the words I choose when talking with strangers. Sometimes I go out of my way to use big or unfamiliar words in casual settings, just for fun. However, I try not to do that in situations where it might make people uncomfortable. I just like words.

What are words you like and don't like? How do you use them? Don't make me turn this into a tag -- just respond!