Alice's Rant

Condo Photos

For one day, my condo is not a work in progress. I spent the last two evenings cleaning to get ready for my sister-in-law's baby shower tonight. My dad has a few finishing touches to complete his fantastic work on my washer/dryer closet, which means it will soon become a disaster area once again.

So, I took a bunch of photos of this phase of the condo. I still have a few things I want to do, but I'm awfully proud of my home. It's so cozy, and my parents have been wonderful helping me to make it my own. Sometimes I can't believe I get to live here! (What I can believe are the mortgage payments... ba-dum-bum *drum beat*) I'll need to plan some parties over the summer to show it off.

Here are a few teaser photos of my cute home the way it looks today. Please note the closet next to the front door, and the wall of shelves behind my couch! (For a reminder of what the place looked like when I moved in, look at this previous post.)

Front Room

Dining Area

Kitchen

2nd Bedroom

Master Bedroom

Mark vs Derek

If I were to become famous enough to be considered for Dancing with the Stars, who would be the better ballroom partner for me? Mark or Derek?


Mark is hilarious -- he isn't afraid to look goofy, his choreography is a lot of fun, and he always seems to be having a good time. But, it bothers me that he likes to wear suits during the latin dances while his partner wears skimpy bikini tops. Plus, he's used to working with athletes and heaven knows I'm anything but.


Derek is darling -- he does a great job bringing out the best in his partner, isn't afraid to take a backseat, his choreography is original, and he's just so handsome! The drawbacks are that from what I can tell he gets frustrated easily during rehearsals, and he's so pretty nobody might notice me.

Who do you think? Do you have another dancer you think would be better at making me the best dancer I can be? Please comment on who and why!

Robo Arm

Monday night after work, my right wrist started to hurt a lot anytime I'd try to pick something up, or twist the arm, or apply pressure to anything. A task as simple as unlocking and opening my door or drying my hands on a towel made me want to yell in pain. I put some ice on the wrist that night and hoped the pain would go away.

Well, the next morning it felt much the same, so I traveled on over to the nearby InstaCare. After about an hour of waiting, a nurse took my vitals, during which she had a hard time detecting my blood pressure. Consequently, the machine had to squeeze my right arm for so long and so hard that it turned purple and fell asleep. It hurt waaaaaaaaaaay more than the wrist pain I'd come in for, and didn't do a lick of good since the machine still couldn't read me. They tried again on the left arm, and after putting it to sleep too were able to get a reading. Sheesh.

A half hour later a doctor showed up and started poking and prodding. At one point he prodded my lower arm next to my elbow and said "Does this hurt?" It was sore, but I think that pain could be handled by a good massage. And that was when I started to get a crush on the cute, young doctor. The poking didn't hurt, just the twisting and me pushing back against his hand.

He sent me to another room for a few x-rays, during which I started to feel sorry for myself. I was getting worked up about whether it may be tendonitis. I know very little about the condition, but as a full-time writer I kind of need to be able to type. That's not something I can compromise on! And here I am coming into the busy period of the release, where I'm writing at least 100 features in the next four months. I can't do that if my arm is out of commission! Before I knew it, I was worked up to where tears started trickling down my cheek, and I asked for a box of tissues while the technician processed the x-rays.

After another wait (I was there FOR-E-VER!) the doctor came in with another nurse, and told me that it isn't tendonitis yet, but could develop into it. He said it's just a muscle strain due to overuse, and I felt glad that even though I'm left-handed, I handle a mouse with my right hand. At least I can still write with pen and paper! The doctor told me to ice the wrist three times a day, and gave me a prescription for 1000mg of Ibuprofen which I'm also supposed to take three times a day, and a nurse showed me how to put on the sleeve which I'm to wear pretty much the rest of the time. The doctor said to see a hand/arm specialist in a week if it doesn't seem to be getting better. Since I didn't have any other questions he left fairly abruptly, at which time I decided I would only ever be a patient to him, and my crush ended.

When I asked the nurse, Chris, if this will be a chronic condition, she said "no". It should heal in the next couple of weeks, depending on how much I am able to rest the arm (so, since I can't not work for the next three weeks, I'm guessing the healing will be stretched out at least four months. I'll pray for better and ease off as much as I can). To my surprise, I really started crying then! Thank goodness I'd brought the box of tissues from the x-ray room with me, 'cause I used a lot of them! Chris was surprised and respectfully left me alone for a few minutes so I could let myself go and put my head in my hands and sob. She came back and asked what was going on, and I told her this is the worst possible timing 'cause I'm already overwhelmed at work and didn't need this. It's nice to say "it's just your body saying you need a rest" but it doesn't help when I can't take the rest! We ended up talking about how much I love my job and how I don't want to do it badly or let anyone down. Everyone is in over their heads with this software release, so it's not like anyone could pick up the slack if I were to miss something or have to take a leave of absence. My biggest fear at this point is that one of the other writers will give notice before the release and we'll all have to cover for whatever she doesn't finish, and now here I am with an injury that will throw me off my A game. At least I'm not totally out of commission.

Anyway, I felt a lot better after talking with Chris. She said that she'd be at the InstaCare all day and I could call if I needed anything. She asked if there was anything else she could do, so I asked for a hug -- I really needed it!

I took the day off in spite of the mountain of work I have to do. I wanted to at least give my arm one day off. I called my manager and let her know what is going on. She suggested I have my doctor refer me to a physical therapist so we can find out what I can do to make sure that this doesn't happen again -- or at least doesn't happen often -- such as a different type of keyboard (no pun intended!), placing my computer differently on my desk, and so forth. My manager has had similar problems and was really understanding and helpful.

I know I should be philosophical and say "Wow! I'm so lucky I'm not doing a play because this would really mess that up," but I've had a lot of weird little medical things like this happen to me in the last couple of months since I decided not to do a show, and I kind of feel like I'm being punished. I didn't have to go to the doctor during all of 2008 as much as I have the first 6 months of this year, and I did three plays that year! So, either doing plays magically keeps me healthy, or my body has been having issues for awhile and only now have I noticed because I have slowed down enough to take care of them. I don't know. It's just really ironic that this would show up the very day things at work kick into high gear. Lousy irony.

The sleeve still allows me some mobility. Funny how easy it is to forget to take it easy, though. I never realized how many things I need two hands for! Doing my hair this morning was a little futile. I can still type, but if I were a piano player I'd be sunk. The restricted movements are nice in a way -- my right arm is far less tired than my left after writing this post! Plus... I feel cool just wearing the thing. It reminds me of, like, a superhero/supervillian or something, so in my head I'm calling it my "Robo Arm," even though there are no robotics involved. Just trying to offset the crappiness of the situation.

Quick! Something wonderful happen to me! I need instant gratification to remind me my trials are not all for naught!

Many Milestones

Every once in awhile, I think of the biblical phrase "marrying and giving in marriage." It's used to illustrate times when there are no big earth-shattering events, just day to day living, because what is more normal than people getting married, going to work, raising children, having birthdays and so forth? It's a relevant phrase in the scriptures and in my own life.

This last week was been a lovely one, where I've seen my friends go through milestones in their lives. None are terribly exciting to the outside world, but each have changed for the better the lives of the people involved.

My friends Brandon Rufener and Kate Lowder were married on Memorial Day Monday. I was privileged to attend the rehearsal barbecue the night before, and the actual ceremony. I smiled wide when I saw Brandon walk to his place wearing green socks, and I nearly started crying when I saw how incandescently beautiful Kate looked in her brilliant gown, veil, flowers, and pink shoes. They had been planning this day for a year, and everyone there was thrilled it wasn't rained out! It was fun to watch Kate and Brandon dance and socialize, and her gorgeous bridesmaids running around taking photos, making sure the bride and groom were happy, and ensuring there were no huge problems. I visited with many loved friends there. It was truly a celebration to remember. I am excited to see how Kate and Brandon's life together affects each of them and the changes they will no doubt make to the world around them. Congratulations, you two!

Tuesday, Michelle B called me to invite me to an impromptu barbecue in honor of her 30th birthday. Michelle hadn't been looking forward to that particular milestone, so her new boyfriend took her on vacation to southern Utah for the actual big day. Sounds like they had a great time! By the time I arrived at the party on Tuesday all the food was gone, but all I wanted to do was talk with my friend anyway. That's when I learned about the new boyfriend (whom I know well and fully approve of for her). Apparently, Michelle's daughter absolutely loves Ryan and already wants them to get married. She wanted Michelle to ask him if they could get married... how do you explain to a 5 year old about adult long-term relationships? It was pretty funny. I'm just excited for her. Michelle deserves to be with a guy who will make her laugh and completely adore her and her little girl, and Ryan does that for her. Her ex-husband didn't and isn't doing a good job of making either of them feel wanted. I'm trying not to get my hopes up about her and Ryan... but they already are :^D

My nieces Zoe and Summer are finally sleeping in cribs, wearing clothing, gaining significant weight, and successfully using a bottle. The nurses even let my mom hold Summer earlier in the week (only the parents had been allowed thus far), and Adam got to give Summer a bath yesterday. Big steps! It's only a matter of time until they can come home!

G-unit graduated from pre-school on Friday, which means he'll be starting Kindergarten in the fall. That's crazy! He's such an intelligent, articulate, creative, picky, bossy, happy kid. Lindsey and Adam threw him a party Friday night and invited my parents and brothers and I. We ate pizza and cupcakes, talked with each other, and played several board games with G. He showed off his new room (he moved downstairs so the girls can be close to Mom and Dad), and we laughed hysterically while I used his stuffed orangatang as a puppet while singing "I Wanna Be Like You" from Disney's Jungle Book. It's been really fun watching him become so self-sufficient and yet so personable. How I love him!

I saw Spotlight Production's Pride and Prejudice (the one I auditioned for and decided not to do) on Saturday. I have been regretting for a few weeks now that I chose not to do it. I love the story and the language and the characters but at the time it was the right choice to make. I talked with director Brighton at the show and she said I had been her first choice for Jane. As I talked with her, I realized how much it would have meant to Brighton for me to do the show, as I was one of the first people she'd met in the theatre community. She was kind and super-excited to see me, but I felt very keenly how much I'd disappointed her. Well, hindsight is always 20/20. I hope that I have another chance both to work with Brighton and to be in Pride and Prejudice. It was still a great show without me! I was most excited to see Kate S. play Elizabeth. I met her during the callback, and almost did the show just to play Jane with her. She told me about how passionate she is about the book and the characters, and it came through in her performance. She and Mr. Darcy were great together. It was a well-done production (especially the second act). I am seriously considering seeing their final performance tonight.

Yesterday, I attended Allyson H's farewell. Allyson played Laurey when I was Ado Annie in Oklahoma!, and Fiona when I played Jeannie in Brigadoon, so we've had the opportunity to become pretty close. As I listened to her talk, I realized how jealous I am of her! I always wanted to serve a temple/visitor's center mission (I love Latter-day Saint church history), and she has the whole thing ahead of her. My mission seems so far away sometimes. I leafed through my missionary journals on Saturday while I finally unpacked them, and was surprised how much I didn't remember, how much I'd admired and loved my companions, and the depth and strength of my testimony. I look forward to learning some of Allyson's experiences and about the lessons she'll learn. It was a wonderful meeting. I gave her a hug afterwards and wished her luck (her dad spotted me and said "Is this the girl who can't say no?"). I'm glad I went!

So many lives changing; so many happy events. It was a full and happy week! This week promises not to be as busy, but I am looking forward to finally hosting a baby shower for Lindsey with our relatives. Keep your fingers crossed that it goes well. I'm a little nervous to be the hostess!

My Book About Me

The last couple of weeks have been a little rough on me. The main reason is because I don't have a play to disappear into. I miss the social and creative outlet. Let's face it, it's hard work being myself and responsible all the time! Work, supervising remodel projects, and church activities take their toll. Luckily, I have friends to hang out with, and family to celebrate with. Plenty to do... but I miss doing a show. Whenever I get in my warm car I think of the year the A/C was out in the car and then I remember that was the year I did Oklahoma. And then I think about how much I love doing an outdoor show. Then I wish I were doing one, even though I know it's not a good idea right now.

I think one of the things I like about being in a play is that it focuses my energy. I spend the rehearsal period studying my character and getting to know her. By the time I start performing, I know that character, and I'm totally confident onstage because I don't have to worry about "what should I do here?" because it comes naturally.

Well, last Friday, I was talking to Wendi about missing doing a show, and she suggested that since I decided with my workload it would be masochistic to audition for one now, I should use this summer to study... myself!


I think it's a great idea. I realized that I don't always have confidence in myself if I'm in an unfamiliar situation. I generally like myself, but I worry all the time that others won't. In truth, I care too much about what others think. Is it because I don't know myself well enough to be proud of who I am? I've been spending so much time playing other characters, I don't really know myself that well without the context of a character. In a play I have a script and a director that I've been working with to prepare for the performance. During real life I can't rely on anyone else. I need to get to know me a little better so I'm prepared and confident and I don't feel like I'm completely improvising during every situation every day of my life! Improvving onstage scares me to death, and in real life it's not much better.

After I left work on Friday, I went to Target and bought a binder and some lined paper, and started making lists. Favorite foods, Talents, Favorite T.V. Shows, Places I Want to Visit, Things I Did as a Kid That I'd Like to Revisit. I think I need to buy a season pass to Hogle Zoo and start drawing my favorite animals, and I'd like to find my bench at the Gateway and do some more writing. This could be a complex character study, because I change from day to day, but I'm having fun! Anytime I start feeling sad about not being in a show, I add to one list or start another. It's a great distraction!

Is it egotistical to study myself? ...maybe, but I don't care. I need this. It's helping me to be happy.

Meanwhile, today at Institute I noticed that my toenail polish matches my new purple purse. I can't tell you how much that tickles me!