There's a heart on my face!

At dinner last Saturday, my friend Laura suddenly said, "There's a heart on your face!" 

"What?" I asked. 

"There's a heart. Let me take a picture."

Sure enough, there's a heart. I'd always thought it was, like, a wonky cactus or something. Then again, the location on my face makes it difficult for me to see well. 

I have no idea how long it's been there, and I spent a few years trying to get rid of it, but now it's just part of my face...

Not a bad one at that.

One, remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Two, never give up work. Work gives you meaning and purpose and life is empty without it. Three, if you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there and don't throw it away. 

- Stephen Hawking

Trying something new: The Genesis Group

I attended The Genesis Group fireside on Sunday. I'd heard of it previously but hadn't had a chance to attend. I will be going again some time in the near future. It was neat!

The Genesis Group was founded 40+ years ago as a place for black members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to congregate and worship together in a "more spirited" way than in their regular LDS meetings (which they also attend). They meet each fast Sunday to sing together, listen to speakers, and meet new people. While the adults and teenagers participate in their meeting, there are Primary and Nursery classes going on at the same time. The group is overseen by a member of the Seventy, so it's a legit program within the LDS church.

It was described to me as "like church, but more fun." Pretty accurate!

We all know I'm white, introverted, and grew up in Utah, so I was a little nervous as to what to expect. I was relieved there were a bunch of other white people there so I didn't stand out too much, especially when my date ran late. After welcoming everybody, the group president invited everyone to meet three people they hadn't met before. I had a chance to meet several additional people after the meeting. There was a feeling of community and acceptance. I could tell the regulars cared about each other and were excited to include everyone there. All the newbies were asked to stand and then we were all declared members of the group (they did not ask me to introduce myself, thank goodness)!

I was surprised when each musical number, speaker, and missionary announcement was followed by applause, and it felt totally appropriate. The choir wore robes and sang A Capella. In addition to an opening and closing hymn, we sang "Oh Happy Day" with the choir. I love the song! It was a wonderful mess because -- even though most of the words were printed in the program -- many of the attendees didn't know the melody and none of us knew when to stop. One of the choir members paused us partway through to encourage us to let go and sing with joy. "We goin'a sing in the key of Jesus!" We tried!

Each member of the group presidency spoke, as did Elder Allen of the Seventy. They said they hadn't planned it ahead of time, but they all spoke about forgiveness and, as Elder Allen said, cutting "out the contention in your life." I admit, I needed to hear those talks, and I'm glad I did. After the talks, they invited the members to bear their testimony.

The meeting lasted for nearly two hours which was a bit much for me, but I'm glad I stayed until the end when the choir sang one last time. I had to look up the words because the song touched me so deeply.

"Time to Believe"

Time to believe in what God said.

Time to believe in what he promised.

We see small, He sees great.

When we speak doubt, He speaks faith.

It's time to believe in what God said.

Don't allow your past to dictate where you're going

Or let who you are make you believe you can't go on,

Because God's promise is true and what He said He will do.

It's time to believe on believe I will believe.

I will believe what God said.

I will believe what He promised.

When I see small, I'll see great.

I spoke in doubt now I'll speak faith.

I will believe in what God said.

I do believe what God said.

I do believe what He promised.

When I see small, I'll see great.

I spoke in doubt now I'll speak faith.

When I see small, I'll see great.

I spoke in doubt now I'll speak faith.

I do believe.

I do believe.

I do believe.

I encourage anyone who is interested to check out the fireside, and take your families with you. It was a fun and uplifting experience, and I met great people. Like I said, I want to go again soon!

2015 Resolution Time!

Happy New Year, everybody!

I learned a lot about myself last year, and I decided I need to make some resolutions this year to keep me on track:

1. Physical: Exercise at least 30-60 minutes a day three days a week, or walk (or run) at least 10,000 steps a day. I would think the reasons for this are obvious. Last year I was consistent for nine weeks. This year I want to move more than I did last year. I did not buy a gym membership, but I did get a FitBit for Christmas and I already love it.
2. Spiritual:
   a. Read at least 4 gospel-related books in addition to The Book of Mormon. I struggle with reading non-fiction books, but I want to infuse positive thoughts and the spirit into my regular life more than I have in the past.
   b. Sit in the chapel and not in the balcony during Sacrament meeting. I pay more attention in the chapel, and it motivates me to be on time or early.
   c. Do not immediately open my journal when I sit down; make myself available to talk with the people nearby. I've been doing this for several weeks and have already met some cool people... and had one date.
3. Educational-ish: Read 25 books this year, including those in #2. Reading goals aren't new for me, but it is fun at the end of the year to see what I've read...and even more fun to surpass the goal and have to set a new one partway through the year. Hope that happens again this year!

That's all. I want my goals to be manageable and simple enough to remember and work on throughout the year. They aren't big, but they are meaningful to me.

I'm looking forward to this year. I get to go to Disneyland with my best friend, and my family is planning a vacation this summer, too. I'll also celebrate my 5-year anniversary at work; I've never worked anywhere for that long, and I get an extra week of vacation time as a reward! I also get to play a role in a play I've wanted to be in for years and years. With any luck, I'll have a lot more fun surprises (and few not-so-fun ones). 

I am hopeful!

What are you looking forward to this year? Have you made any resolutions?

Interview with myself 2014

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life -- well, valuable, but small -- and sometime I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?
- You've Got Mail

I'll be honest: 2014 was not an easy year for me.

I saw big, wonderful changes in the lives of many of my loved ones: my family grew, my friends had babies. They have been through a lot and I am glad they finally get their happy "re-beginnings." It is truly awesome!

Aaron and Heidi are the cutest.

My own life stayed stagnant. I wasn't very good at not being jealous of my loved ones' life events. The future I expected to have is more unlikely with each year that passes. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself in the meantime. Then again, nobody's future is secure and no one knows what will happen one day to the next. Whether I marry and have kids there will always be times of stagnancy, but I like to think maybe then I will be less lonely. I've had a tough time trying to come to terms with my loneliness this year.

In the theatre world, I was in two plays that I have wanted to participate in since high school: The Sound of Music and Jekyll and Hyde. Who else can say they played a nun and a prostitute in the same year? To be honest, it felt like a step backwards playing in the ensemble two plays in a row. I missed having my character development built into the script and personal attention from directors. But I worked with awesome choreographers and worked with a lot of people I've wanted to. I am glad I was in both of them. I'm proud of my work and grateful for my new friendships.

I saw plays in New York City, and Cedar City. I went on my first business trip. I got to go to Salt Lake Comic Con, Fan Xperience, and Fantasy Con for free. The events and vacations infused some much-needed relaxation time, and fueled my gratitude for my regular life at home.

1. What did you do in 2014 that you'd never done before? 
   
   I exercised 5 days a week for 9 weeks -- first time I've ever been that consistent!
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? The only resolution I made last year was to read at least 12 books. I ended up reading 41, including plays, children's books, young adult fiction, adult fiction, religious and other non-fiction. 
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My brother Peter and his wife Jordyn, and my besty Kate and her husband Brandon both had their first babies this year -- both boys!
   
4. Did anyone close to you die? Not this year
5. What countries did you visit?
   None outside the United States
6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
   A significant other to share it with
7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
   No specific dates, just events
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
   3.7 weeks without sugar or carbs
9. What was your biggest failure?
   Gaining all of the weight back after #8
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
    Nothing more serious than allergy-related colds. I had laser surgery again.
11. What is the best thing you bought?
    Tickets to Matilda, Newsies, and Cabaret on Broadway  
12. Where did most of your money go?
    Probably food.
13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    
    The panels at the conventions: William Shatner, Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden, Marina Sirtis, Denise Crosby, Nathan Fillian, Adam Baldwin, Karl Urban, Karen Gillian, Doug Jones, the guys from Kid History, Billy Boyd, John Rhys-Davis, Sean Astin, Simon Pegg, Mark Sheppard, Renee O'Connor, Alan Tudyk, Manu Bennett, Stephen Amell, and John Barrowman. Waiting in line was totally worth it every time.   
14. What song will always remind you of 2014?
    Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off" and "Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie
15. Compared to this time last year, are you:


1. Happier or sadder? Sadder 
2. Thinner or fatter? Fatter 
3. Richer or poorer? Richer (hooray!) 
16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
    Exercising in any form
17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
    Feeling sorry for myself
18. How did you spend Christmas?
    Surrounded my family and food at my mom's house
19. Did you fall in love in 2014?
    Nope
20. What was your favorite TV program?Parks and Recreation. The Late Show starring Jimmy Fallon is a very close second.
21. Do you dislike anyone now that you didn't this time last year?
    Not that I can think of.
22. What was the best book you read?
    Cinder by Marissa Meyer. A dystopian-future, fairy tale retelling that doesn't feel bleak and is actually quite funny? Yes please! I couldn't read it or the sequels fast enough -- can't wait for Fairest to be published later this month!
23. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    John Legend's "All of Me"
24. What did you want and get?
    A Roku for Christmas
25. What did you want and not get?
    A family of my own
26. What was your favorite film this year?
    I'm going to go with The Hunger Games: Mockingjay part 1, though Captain America: Winter Soldier, Veronica Mars, Into the Woods, and Big Hero 6 are big contenders.
27. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    
    I turned 36, and spent the day at Regional Conference for church, ate waffles with friends, and dinner with my family.
28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    A romantic relationship that lasted more than a few weeks
29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
    "Accentuate the positive; decentuate the negative."
30. What kept you sane?
    Friends who know the right thing to say or do. Never condescending, always supportive and kind and often funny. We celebrate and commiserate together and love each other no matter what.
31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    Tom Hiddleston
    
32. What political issue stirred you the most?
    The sorority house shootings in California. It makes me crazy that a person can think that another person not wanting to sleep with them is a good reason to murder them. No one is "owed" sex or anything else. My feminism is growing stronger.
33. Who did you miss?
    Dr. Cristina Yang. Grey's Anatomy is not the same without her.
34. Who was the best new person you met?
    This is hard! I'm going with Madison Hanson and Wendi Griffiths. They and a few of our other dressing-roommates in Jekyll and Hyde made the experience great, and I love having having a few more Disney-obsessed friends.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.
    This year my big one is that I am terrible at "enduring to the end." I can handle short-term goals, but tucking in for the long haul of days with unrequited hopes, or dieting or exercising consistently, or a large number of work weeks with no vacation in sight, and I too easily fall into a bad attitude. It's so, so hard to put that aside and cultivate a good one again; to see the beauty in the now and have faith in the future.
36. What are you looking forward to in 2015?
    A trip to Disneyland 
37. What else?
    Growing relationships with friends, family, and (hopefully) the man I'll share the rest of my life with.

Enough of that. On to 2015!

The most wonderful month of the year!

December is at an end and a New Year is baring down on us. I had a fun month, full of family and friends, parties, dinners, and plays, and two full weeks off from work. I'd say I cannot ask for more, but I'm still asking for a boyfriend someday soon (just putting that into the universe).

I scaled back the Christmas decorations in my condo this year, but I couldn't do without my tree or my Swedish star.
It finally feels like Christmas!

My mother made me this gorgeous angel. She reigns over my tree in goodness and peace.
My friends say she looks like me, but I think she looks like my mom (and a little like Glinda the Good Witch).

Larissa went all-out for her A Christmas Story viewing party this year. The details were perfect, from the movie-themed food to the leg lamp she borrowed from Kristen. I didn't do much movie watching, but I did manage to catch up with a lot of people I like!

Hostess Larissa, and Chris

The "soap" was molded chocolate. This face was me trying not to think about how many other people had put it in their mouths ;)

The G-unit performed in a special after-school choir over the holidays. He's a performer through-and-through, and the true child of his parents. He hammed his way through the actions and had a huge smile on his face the entire time. He even had a solo in one of the numbers. I'm proud of him!

This smile was right after he messed up the words. Luckily, the entire choir was singing, so nobody noticed except us... and only 'cause he started laughing!

When Brandon offered Nichole, Larissa, and me tickets to see him in A Christmas Carol at Hale Centre Theatre, we jumped at the chance! Nichole and I have fond memories performing in the play, and Larissa had never seen it before. It's a lovely production, and the story of Scrooge and Bob Cratchit has a message worth learning over and over. Maybe I'll audition for it next year...

My ward organized a special event where we attended an afternoon session at the Salt Lake Temple, and then ate a catered dinner at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. My date cancelled on me, but I made myself go anyway. I knew I'd have plenty of friends there.

This was the view from our ballroom!

My table, minus Trinnette (the photographer)

I wasn't going to let Trinnette get away without a photo!

Blueberry chicken. It was different, but I liked it.

We had chocolate mousse for dessert. It tasted like frosting and was fabulous.

Terrible, terrible selfie with some of the lights at Temple Square

Peter's company rented out a theatre and had the employees invite friends, family, and clients to view The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies the night before it opened. I was the only one to dress in costume, but I couldn't not do it. It was my last chance!

The office Christmas party was at Tucanos this year. It's the one time of year that absolutely everyone comes into the office, and I'm always surprised at how many of us work from the Salt Lake office. I ate lunch with the User Experience and Marketing teams. We were surprised to see so many women together at once, since some of them work from home and others work in a part of the office the rest of us don't get to very often. I nearly blew their minds when I told them there are three other women on my development team, and one more in customer service!
We were also gifted a box of Cummings chocolates and a coupon to see a movie at the Megaplex for free. Hooray for the holidays!

I cannot say no to this chocolate cake. Not when it's free and lasts for four days (if I can restrain myself)

My two-week vacation started the next day :D

My nieces convinced me to do the unthinkable: I downloaded some games onto my phone. Now Breezy asks to play on my phone every time she sees me.

Hair Salon is Breezy's favorite, especially the "blowdryer" function.
The top left one is mine. I've accidentally shaved heads more often than I care to admit.

This Frozen Princess dress up game is also pretty fun.
These are all my designs.

Zonks's favorite is Dumb Ways to Die. I couldn't not download it when she moaned "I looooove it!" We both laugh our heads off while I read the directions and she tries to save the poor characters from grisly deaths (wow, that sounds horrible, but the game is hilarious).

I bought this cookie 'cause I was worried I wouldn't get any gingerbread this year. It tasted ok, but it prompted this amusing story:
"Dropped this cookie while walking up the stairs to my apartment (it was in a tiny bag). I exclaimed, "Oh no!" and one of my neighbors came running out to see if everything was ok. I was a little embarrassed to explain my reason, but she joked she would have been sad, too. I asked if she was the one doing laundry and she said she was, so I thanked her for the lovely detergent smell in the stairwell. Then we introduced ourselves. Nice to know another neighbor."

"For today's #creepshow, I parked for church, and these pigeons (plus a bunch more) immediately flocked to land on the street right next to my car. They then began circling and landing ON my car, so I backed up a bit so they'd get off, but they settled back in after I parked the second time. So, I drove away to park up the road. Happily, they didn't follow. But, wow, it was weird!"

I invited Larissa to join me for a day at the movies. We saw The Imitation Game, ate lunch at Five Guys Burgers and Fries, then her husband, Rob joined us for Interstellar. It's been a long time since my last double-feature, and I loved having Larissa with me!

I love this time of year when gas prices are as low as they've been all year. I remember a time when I thought $1.99 per gallon was a rip off! Filling up my gas tank for less than $20? Yes, please!

Some other notable events were watching the entire series of Ugly Betty -- which I LOVED -- and joining Aaron, Heidi, and Dave in seeing Into the Woods, which turned out to be a pleasant surprise. I've been saying since day one that I was cautiously optimistic about ITW. It's a tough show, but the movie got the tone just right and that is the most important thing to me. 

Christmas was everything I hoped it would be, and New Year's Eve was delightfully spent playing board games with my besty, Kate, her husband, and his family. Such a nice way to end the year!