Battling the Dragon (a dream journal exercise)

Several months ago, I bought a Dream journal, which I have subsequently decided was a mistake. Not that I don't remember my dreams -- I remember a LOT of them and in surprising detail -- but it turns out this particular Dream journal has activities. It wants to help me learn to take control and be an active participant in my dreams. The thing is, I'm already pretty active. I may not always be able to tell it IS a dream while I'm in it (so many mornings I wake up disappointed to discover I don't live on the U.S.S. Enterprise and Kate Austen and I aren't friends in real life), but I can usually predict what's going to happen. Also, sometimes I don't WANT to remember my dreams, or at least I don't want to record them for posterity. Some of the stuff my unconscious mind comes up with are too embarrassing. (Yes, waaay more embarrassing than admitting that I dream sometimes about living on the Starship Enterprise. Actually, I'm not that embarrassed about the Enterprise.) 

But lately I've been having some dreams I do want to remember... and I realized that I didn't want to write them in the journal because I reached a point where I was supposed to do an exercise and I never did it. I didn't want to ignore and skip it and I couldn't ever remember to do it at bedtime, so I just stopped using the journal.

So, last night, I did the exercise.

And it worked! Well, sort of.

The Exercise
Before I fell asleep, I imagined myself as a medieval (didn't even have to spell check that word - ha!) knight. I visualized my "obstacles" as a dream dragon and imagined that I fought the dragon back so that it would have to retreat. I managed to keep this image in my mind as I fell asleep, thinking about the things that have been troubling me lately. The idea is that as I dream that I'm overcoming this adversary, I gain confidence in my waking life.


The Dream
[I should mention that this is only the second half of the dream. However, I spent so much brainpower trying to remember this half that I can't remember the first half anymore. It probably had something to do with war. Most of them do lately.]

I was on State Street at night and my friend's dad was supposed to take us to our destination. When he arrived, he picked up my friend, but refused to take me and drove away, so I had to walk.

I dreamed I was at a cocktail party in the lobby of the Centerpoint Legacy Theater. We were all young-mid single adults, and I looked like Kate Middleton and was wearing a dress like her engagement dress, but black. Then I realized it was actually a callback for a play Rosalie Richards was directing. People were passing around character descriptions. There was a part for a mousy, awkward, best-friend type who eventually gets the guy. There was a part for a gorgeous bombshell, and one for a gorgeous dream-boat guy who starts off being attracted to the bombshell then realizes he's really in love with the mousy best friend. My friend Mr. K was up for the guy, but didn't get it. The bombshell part went to a tall, gorgeous brunette. At this point I looked like me again. There was never a formal audition, but I knew I was up against friends A and B. After a bunch of mingling, I overheard who was cast in the roles. After that I didn't see A again in the dream, but B and Mr. K were still there.

I got the part!  I won the part of the girl who wins in spite of her own insecurities and bad odds. I won the part of the girl who gets the awesome guy even though she's not the bombshell. I won, I won, I won!

And then I woke up.

My Analysis
I badly need a win in the very near future.

I feel like I can't do anything right lately, and things haven't been going well. My last few dates have gone okay but nothing came of them, I've auditioned and been rejected for six plays in a row, and then I was sick for so stinking long. The friends that I dreamed I was up against don't even know that I sometimes feel like I'm competing with them. It's frustrating to see others seeming to have it all when I am not.

In the dream, I was reminded that I CAN and WILL get what I want eventually. I won't always feel left in the dust as everyone around me succeeds. I can win the part and the boy that I want, figuratively and literally. In the dream, I was accepted as I was and my hard work was recognized. It felt great! The exercise really did help build my confidence!

In conclusion, I'm glad I finally gave the exercise a try! I may visualize the same thing again tonight, with even a bit more hope. I've had a rough time the last month, and it can only get better. I have a vacation coming up, there are some fun shows, and rumor has it more men are funneling into my ward in the next few weeks. Things are looking up!

Sweet dreams tonight, my friends. And I hope your day is a great one tomorrow!