Unexpectedly positive

My dear friends Theresa, John, and Angie lost their mom this week.

Two years ago, Jeannie was diagnosed with cancer, and up until about two months ago she had an amazing quality of life; no pain, and except for treatments she didn't slow down in caring for her kids and grand kids every chance she got. A few weeks ago she went downhill fast and her family checked her into a hospice center so that she'd have round-the-clock care before she died.

She died on Sunday, and although there are many reasons to be sad, the most tragic part is that Jeannie died just three weeks before her youngest daughter's wedding. She had already returned her Mother-of-the-Bride dress, and told Angie she'd enjoy the wedding far more from the other side.

I admit, I hardly knew Jeannie, but I knew three of her four children quite well, so it wasn't even a question of whether I'd attend the viewing on Wednesday. I wanted to support them and let them know I've been thinking of and praying for them.

With all of this in mind, though, I was thoroughly expecting the viewing to be a solemn, sad affair. I imagined everyone crying and ME crying and feeling stupid because I wasn't crying that I missed her, but that I felt empathy for those who would. I wished I'd thought to bring Kleenex.

So, imagine my surprise when my spot in the line finally reached close enough to see the family, and they were all laughing and smiling! (Those huge grins they totally inherited from their mom.) My friend Katie and I hugged them all and "oohed" over Angie's ring, and laughed about Theresa's rambunctious kids, and how John, Katie and I are all writers now. We talked about how kind their mom had been, how long since we'd seen each other, and I don't know what else. We chatted for so long that their older sister, Sina (who I looked up to but didn't know well), tapped John on the shoulder and said, "You're holding up the line!" She and we all laughed -- apparently they'd all had their turn holding people up -- then talked with Sina and her dad briefly before leaving.

I left feeling incredibly uplifted and happy that I had gone. I haven't been to many viewings or funerals and didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect it to be such a positive experience. I suppose that their energy, bright smiles, and the knowledge that life goes on even when you miss your mom is the best legacy Jeannie could have left behind. That's what I took from it. They've known for two years that this would be the eventual outcome, and as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, they believe that their family will be linked for forever and that they'll see Jeannie again. I'm sure that it hasn't been an easy week, but at least they were as prepared as could be and they have each other... as well as the multitude of people who showed up at the viewing and funeral. I hope that when I lose my own mom, dad, or someone else I depend on, I can handle it with such grace and gratitude. It was very cool to be a part of the experience.

I hope that this crazy time of funeral arrangements and wedding planning ends up being one they look back on fondly. It's nice they have something to look forward to and keep them busy while the pain is the sharpest. I love them, and hope the wedding is the party it should be!