We were watching a scene where one of the protagonists stands up to two bullies, Butch and Woim. The G-child said something about how "that's what you're supposed to do with bullies" and I said:
"That's what I did."
G-child and my mom were both surprised and said at about the same time, "You had a bully?"
"Yep."
"When?" I can't believe I hadn't told my mom about this.
When I was in seventh grade, there was a girl in my Gym class named Alexis (Gym class, how cliché is that? As if changing clothes in front of a bunch of other people isn't stressful enough). I still don't know why she hated me. She'd say mean things to me and generally act as though my mere presence bugged her. One day when we were playing softball she threw her mitt and hit at my face. It hurt but I didn't tell the teacher about it, because I knew it would make things worse. But my friends went to the teacher on my behalf and, as I thought, it DID make Alexis mad. She came to me in the locker room the next day with two "big" friends and told me she was going to beat me up.
I was a skinny kid and prone to crying when stressed, but for some reason I decided that day to stand up for myself. I said, "I don't want to fight you, but if you want to hit me, go ahead." I didn't want to get hit and I was afraid she would actually do it. Instead, she just made fun of me, repeating in a nasal voice "I don't want to fight you." Then she and her friends walked away. The weirdest part? We were friends after that. Not close friends, but she respected me. She even signed my eighth grade yearbook.
I was pretty lucky -- some bullies might not have backed off so easily. I still don't know why she had been so mean to me. I'm surprised I had the confidence as a skinny, emotional thirteen year-old to tell that girl she could hit me when I really didn't want her to.
After I told him and my mom the details, the G-child was amazed. "You mean it really works?"
"It worked for me."
"Huh."
We finished watching the movie and laughed our heads off when Butch and Woim got their comeuppance.
It's cool when I get to have conversations with him like this. They confirm that he is growing up. He is learning and asking questions about the world around him. We don't have a lot of common interests at the moment, but I love him and he loves me. I don't know if anyone else in my family was bullied, so I'm glad I could be an example for my nephew. I am really proud of him and the person he is.
I saw this article today and thought it had some really great advice. Kids need to know that it isn't ok to be bullied or to be bullies, and they need to know when they have hard times that they'll be supported by the people who love them, no matter what:
Happy Wednesday!
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| G and me |
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