Audition anxiety

Last night after my latest audition, my mom asked how it went, and I told her it had gone fine in spite of my nerves. Her response was,

"You still get nervous after all this time?"

It's true, I've probably been to at least 200 auditions, and I still get nervous at every one. It doesn't matter how prepared or unprepared I am. It doesn't matter if I know the director or not (actually, I get more nervous when I do know the director or anyone else on the pro team). It doesn't matter how much I tell myself I don't care about the show... even if I only have lukewarm feelings before I arrive, by the time I get in front of that panel I really want the show and I really want to impress them!

The last three audition experiences have all been really different. For Urinetown, I went in alone and the director didn't say much, but I felt really good about both my song and cold reading. When I auditioned for The Scarlet Pimpernel, I thought the dance was easy and I loved my song choice, but my monologue was really frenetic (it wasn't supposed to be quite that full of nerves). I didn't get called back for either show, and I wasn't surprised. I was glad I gave both of them a shot, though. They were good learning experiences.

Yesterday's audition for Annie Get Your Gun was neither my best or worst. I worked with the director and the music director during the 1940s Radio Hour and was a little too comfortable and nervous and it didn't help that I'd been waiting awhile and was tired too... I actually admitted that I hadn't sung my song with the piano accompaniment (I picked it out and started practicing a week ago but didn't have a chance to find someone to play it for me). Stop talking, Megan. The middle was a bit rocky, but it ended well! I was very pleased with my cold reading. I really think I nailed it. It's just nice to feel like I did something right, you know? Anyway, I got a callback, so I'll let you know how it goes.

You know what's crazy? Seeing a ton of talented women at an audition (many of whom I know) and knowing that every one of them believes they would be terrific playing the same role. I am always glad that I'm not casting, and can never figure out how in the world the director is going to put the show together. That has got to be a tough job! It goes without saying that I want to be the one they're looking for, but it's unrealistic to believe that I'll be the lucky leading lady every time.

Every audition is different. It's always a little scary. I can't control what the director or accompanist or anyone else thinks or does. All I can do is prepare the best I can, perform like it's the only time I'll get the chance, and hope it all works out!

I hope I get to do a show this summer.


left: Oklahoma, where my audition was a mess... and ultimately resulted in my playing Ado Annie, my first singing lead in a legitimate musical. I can never predict what a director is looking for!