Sometimes I feel like an SCC at work

I had to address Mr. Coworker about something disrespectful that he said to me in a team meeting today. He indicated that my job as a technical writer is to "make the documentation pretty." He says it quite often actually. I know he doesn't mean to be rude, but he is. No, truthfully, he's just ignorant. As a software engineer, Mr. Coworker has no idea what exactly I do or how I do it (and vice versa). So, I guess I have to educate him. Or at the very least ask him not to use his favorite phrase any more.

As an overview of what my job is, here's a definition I borrowed from www.wisegeek.org:

A technical writer prepares clear, concisely written documentation that communicates technical information to a target audience. Some common examples of technical writing include user manuals for software, documentation guides for industrial machinery, and design or engineering specifications for construction projects. This is a very diverse field, and according to the American Bureau of Labor Statistics, it is rapidly growing.
In addition to being able to create clearly written communications, a technical writer must also be knowledgeable about the field in which he or she works. For example, one who works on documentation for medical procedures typically has an education in the medical field in addition to language skills, These writers can be found in engineering, physics, chemistry, biology, medicine, technology, and an assortment of other industries.*

I consider Mr. Coworker and I to be equals. But as I am a younger, single, female, technical writer, several of the engineers don't act as though they agree. It makes me work twice as hard, so comments like his make me feel twice as frustrated. I watch Mad Men and smile and groan because, seriously, I work in a misunderstood job in a male-dominated field, and things haven't changed nearly as much as we'd like to think they have. I identify with Peggy in so many ways!

I wrote up an e-mail and asked my boss to take a look at it. This is what we came up with:

I have a request, from one professional to another -- I need you to please refrain from referring to documentation as "making things pretty." You've said it several times during scrum meetings, and while part of my job involves formatting and layout, there is quite a bit more to what I do. I know you aren't trying to be disrespectful, but referring to my job in this way is dismissive and reveals a lack of understanding of the skills, knowledge and abilities of professional technical communicators. I know it's not your intention, but it undermines respect for the specialized skills I bring to the team. Just like software development, content development is a specialized discipline.
As I said, I doubt that you are trying to be disrespectful. You are generally kind and one of the few who doesn't act like I'm putting you out when I ask you to review documentation (a part of your job I know you don't necessarily enjoy). I appreciate our working relationship and hope that we can continue to be amicable in the future.

In the end, though, my boss asked if it would be better to talk with the coworker instead of sending an e-mail. That way, there wouldn't be ambiguity and he'd have a chance to apologize if he wanted to. When I confessed that I don't do well with face-to-face confrontation, my boss sent me this video:


I laughed and laughed, and then said, "Point taken."

I asked Mr. Coworker for a private conversation and we talked it over. He did apologize (though he thought the phrase justified in this case) and I affirmed that I appreciate our working relationship and did not think he was intentionally trying to be disrespectful. It wasn't quite the positive, shining conversation I hoped for, but it was far from the condescending, closed-minded shoutfest I feared.

After I shared the results with my boss and thanked her for encouraging me to just talk with Mr. Coworker, she replied, "In the words of my hero, Winnie the Pooh: 'You're braver than you think.'" I adore my manager. I am so lucky to have her support and understanding. Having a strong female role model in the workplace is invaluable.

I'm glad that I was brave and spoke up for myself. I struggle with that in general. People will never respect me unless I make them, and they won't know what I want or need unless I tell them. I can be kind when I do so. They might not show kindness in return (luckily, Mr. Coworker did), but I have no control over that. I did what I could. Today, that is enough.

*If you want to know more about technical writing, check out the wisegeek link above.