Dear neighbors: Thanks so much for varnishing/stinky painting/chemical bombing your apartment Friday afternoon. Much as I enjoyed throwing open my windows and running the fan all night, I'd really appreciate if you didn't do it again. I don't need a chemical-fume-induced headache for the holidays. Especially not when it's December and 15 degrees outside and we're experiencing an inversion that makes you resistant to letting me leave the building door open to air out the hallway. *Note: The smell still lingers. Sigh.
Twice in 24 hours I was almost run off the road. Is it really THAT difficult to put on your blinker 3 seconds before moving into another lane? Furthermore, is it THAT difficult to check if anyone else is already in the lane? It drives me crazy when people jump in front of me only to drive more slowly than I am! You really couldn't wait a few more seconds for me to pass you?
Dear lady-who-is-holding-my-last-gift-hostage: Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeease call me back! Even if you can't get it to me in time. If it's not going to work out, I need to know so I can make other plans!!
I think Zooey Deschanel is adorable, and I enjoy that her character in New Girl is as awkward and ridiculous as I am, and I love her taste in clothes... but every time I see her in a mini-dress or short-shorts I think, "Oh, Zooey... you poor thing. You look so bad!" She doesn't quite have the legs to pull them off. On the flip side, it's awesome that she flaunts her flaws (is that the only one?) -- I'm not that confident! Maybe I'm just jealous of her cuteness. After all, every single other thing about her is practically perfect!!
Dear guy who thoughtlessly hurt my friend, causing her to be completely depressed for the better part of this week: Fix it, NOW! For a moment, try to put yourself in HER shoes and do something that will be meaningful to and mindful of her -- PLEASE! She's been loyal to you and deserves a little kindness -- just because she has forgiven you for every transgression up to now doesn't mean she will be able to forever. The human heart can only take so much :-(
I'm usually bugged when people complain about Utah weather, but even I must agree that this inversion has gone on too long. I can no longer pretend it's just clouds! I really, really, really hope we have a nice, big snowstorm soon, and that it somehow manages not to interfere with anyone's travel plans. Not only do we need the clean air, but it would be sooo nice to have snow for Christmas :-D
I want my long, relaxing, holiday vacation to start nooooooooooooooww! Sorry, Work. I'll do what I can, but my heart just isn't in it. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas as I just want to celebrate!!!
End of rant.
After all, who can feel Grinchy when their brother might dress like on Christmas day?
Buddy: Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas Carol.
Jovie: No way.
Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
Jovie: Thanks, but I don't sing.
Buddy: Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down.
Jovie: I can sing, I just choose not to sing. Especially in front of other people.
Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.
Jovie: Actually, there's a BIG difference.
Buddy: No there's not. Wait...
[Starts singing loud and off-key]
Buddy: I'm singing/I'm in a store/and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!/I'm in a store/and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!
Gimbel's Manager: HEY! There's no singin' in the North Pole!
Buddy: Yes there is!
Gimbel's Manager: No there's not!
Buddy: We sing all the time!
Gimbel's Manager: No you don't!
Buddy: Especially when we build toys!
[Back to Jovie]
Buddy: See?
2 comments:
I feel so cool getting two pictures in this post!
Oh, Aaron, you make me smile! If you don't bring the Elf costume, I'll understand -- limited luggage space and all that. I just think it's awesome that you have one and wear it from time to time!
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